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Should I give the dog back?

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:48 PM
  • 49 Replies

 Okay, About a year ago, this women started working for my mom cleaning her house. I will call her Debbie.  Debbie and my mom became friends in this time frame . Anyway, in the past 6 months or so Debbie had just not done as  good a job. She had men problems and others things going on that would make her distracted and I would end up doing her job more often then not.  She even admitted to having a drinking problem, we just did not know how bad it was until this past May.   

In May, her cousin kicked her out, so my mom offered to let Debbie stay for 1 week. That is when we discovered just how bad of an alcoholic she was.  She ended up staying 2 weeks with us (my daughter and I live with my mom).  In this time frame things got worse and worse.  I saw her feed her 4 year old dog milk, she nearly killed herself and her dog when she ran into a power line pole with her car.  She threatened suicide to which I called the cops because I was not about let another person kill themselves in this house (my Dad killed himself three years ago).  Well, They could not do anything because she told them she did not want to do that.  Then the day after calling them for the suicide threats.  My mom tried to convince her to go to detox to which she agreed only if I took her and then preceeded to punch me in my shoulder.  I called the cops and pressed charges (we go to court this Wednesday and it should be interesting since she left the state).  She spent the night in jail.  She was also 4 times the legal limit.  During this 2 weeks I had hidden the wine, beer and anything else we had but she still managed to find some or she bought it and hid it in her car. 

anyway, there is ALOT more drama. The day after she was arrested she walked from the jail to our house because we refused to pick her up.  I lost it and started yelling at her about many things one of which being the fact she was badly neglecting her dog. The dog was fed by me the entire time a real meal, I took her to the vet after the accident and so on. Well, the next day She calls me begging me to take her dog because I was right in what I said.  I agreed as long as she signed something agreeing to my terms.   In this agreement She had to seek help, go to AA meeting and not drink. It states that if she drinks at all, at any point the dog became mine permanantly.  The paper also stated that she has to clean my apartment for at least 6 months for free so that I could see for myself she was doing better.   

At the beginning of June,  She came back for the first time to clean my apartment. And what does she do but drink! I was not there that day because I had run into Richmond (1 1/2 away) to run some errands for my mom.  I was supposed to be at home but my mom was stressing because We were getting ready for my sister's surprise party that coming saturday.  My mom was there but it was not until the next day that I discovered the beer bottles (7) and then my mom found an empty  wine bottle. I have no idea where Debbie found them but anyway.....   I should have been there, I know, but she claimed she had been sober for X amount of days and she looked so much better. I thought she was really trying.

The day I found the bottles I called her and told her that She drank so at this point the dog was mine.  That I did not want to have to keep the dog but if she can't show me she is doing what she needs to to get better I would not give the dog back.

Then she has her ex-boyfriend or whoever he is start texting me, harrassing me to give the dog back. I texted him and told him what was said that day. He finally apologizes saying that she did not tell him the whole story.

I  hope that she is able to get better, I really do,  but I want nothing more to do with this women and I just do not feel right giving the dog back.  I don't know what to do. I mean I don't doubt that she loves the dog but I doubt she will be able to properly care for her.  I can't imagaine what she is going through and I know it must be hard but I am not sure she really wants to get help either.

I know this is long so if you have made this far thank you for reading.

 

by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Have.Faith
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:53 PM
I'm sorry you're dealing with such a tough situation.
KyliesMom5
by Platinum Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:56 PM

 

Quoting Have.Faith:

I'm sorry you're dealing with such a tough situation.

 It really sucks!  I feel kind of conflicted about this. I don't want to be this horrible person that takes this dog away but at the same time I don't want to dog to suffer because of Debbie's actions. 

lalalamama
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:57 PM
3 moms liked this
OMG! just OMG.....
I've heard of people enabling and living in dysfunctional relationships with close relatives. But with a stranger you met one year ago ? An employee ? Not even a long time friend?

Stop.
naominpipermom
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:59 PM
Hugs!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
KyliesMom5
by Platinum Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:01 PM

 

Quoting lalalamama:

OMG! just OMG.....
I've heard of people enabling and living in dysfunctional relationships with close relatives. But with a stranger you met one year ago ? An employee ? Not even a long time friend?

Stop.

 I'm not enabling her. I was never been her friend. I put up with her for my mom's sake. Truth be told I can't stand her. This women is the cousin to a good friend of ours and yes, my mom befriended her. My mom has a good heart and tried to help. I played a part also but I did not invite her. She is no longer here thankfully but I did take the dog for the dog's sake not hers.

Blestmomof3
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this

As long as you have a signed agreement, I would keep the dog.  She may take you to court to get it back but I doubt it.  If it happens, then you won't need to decide, it would be up to a judge.

Have.Faith
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:10 PM
I would be too. This situation is defiantly not ideal. Do you have a verbal agreement or an actual signed agreement?


Quoting KyliesMom5:

 


Quoting Have.Faith:

I'm sorry you're dealing with such a tough situation.

 It really sucks!  I feel kind of conflicted about this. I don't want to be this horrible person that takes this dog away but at the same time I don't want to dog to suffer because of Debbie's actions. 


KyliesMom5
by Platinum Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:11 PM

 

Quoting Blestmomof3:

As long as you have a signed agreement, I would keep the dog.  She may take you to court to get it back but I doubt it.  If it happens, then you won't need to decide, it would be up to a judge.

 I may just wait for that. Daisy is doing great here and i know that it would take Debbie awhile before she is truly better. 

KyliesMom5
by Platinum Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:12 PM

 I have a signed agreement. I was not about to take the dog without one.

Quoting Have.Faith:

I would be too. This situation is defiantly not ideal. Do you have a verbal agreement or an actual signed agreement?


Quoting KyliesMom5:

 


Quoting Have.Faith:

I'm sorry you're dealing with such a tough situation.

 It really sucks!  I feel kind of conflicted about this. I don't want to be this horrible person that takes this dog away but at the same time I don't want to dog to suffer because of Debbie's actions. 


 

Have.Faith
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:13 PM
I was just double checking. I like to get all the facts. I would defiantly keep the dog in this situation.


Quoting KyliesMom5:

 I have a signed agreement. I was not about to take the dog without one.


Quoting Have.Faith:

I would be too. This situation is defiantly not ideal. Do you have a verbal agreement or an actual signed agreement?



Quoting KyliesMom5:


 



Quoting Have.Faith:

I'm sorry you're dealing with such a tough situation.


 It really sucks!  I feel kind of conflicted about this. I don't want to be this horrible person that takes this dog away but at the same time I don't want to dog to suffer because of Debbie's actions. 



 


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