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I don't get it!

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 8:28 AM
  • 27 Replies
1 mom liked this

I see so many posts on cafemom of women calling out other women saying they are so controlling when it comes to their kids because they won't let the father of the child get their own way and call the shots. I don't think that is co-parenting at all. For instance my ex he is not a good co-parentor if he doesn't get his own way and swears and calls me horrible names. That is not co-parenting.

Yes I faciliate my sons relationship with his dad by having him ready for his visitation and I don't with hold him. What is your take and opinion on this? 

by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 8:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
momdoes
by Platinum Member on Jun. 27, 2013 at 8:33 AM
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Having your son ready and willing to let him go to dads is not co-parenting either. That is called being NICE and respectful of dads time.

I co- parented with my ex, and it is not easy when you are not in love with that person or living with them! It entailed that we, as my sons parents, made decisions TOGETHER, came to agreements in regards to our son together. Kept fighting to a minimum, but most of all, made sure son was happy, healthy and didnt work us against each other by communicating with each other.

Again, this feat is not easy and alot of parents seem to fail. Even we failed sometimes (being hard-headed) but we would just look at aeach other and get back on track.

AAP1988
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 8:35 AM

I tried the co-parenting thing. Sometimes it's just not possible to co-parent. 


Quoting momdoes:

Having your son ready and willing to let him go to dads is not co-parenting either. That is called being NICE and respectful of dads time.

I co- parented with my ex, and it is not easy when you are not in love with that person or living with them! It entailed that we, as my sons parents, made decisions TOGETHER, came to agreements in regards to our son together. Kept fighting to a minimum, but most of all, made sure son was happy, healthy and didnt work us against each other by communicating with each other.

Again, this feat is not easy and alot of parents seem to fail. Even we failed sometimes (being hard-headed) but we would just look at aeach other and get back on track.



momdoes
by Platinum Member on Jun. 27, 2013 at 8:39 AM

 

youre right, its not possible at times. We live in different counties about 100 miles apart, so the school thing was a restriction in co parenting for us. I maintained that area but even withthat, I made sure ex knew every PTA meeting, every conference, school events such as plays and games son was in, etc. His participation was limited at times due to sickness or other issues but for the most part, ex was involved as much as he could be with school.

Quoting AAP1988:

I tried the co-parenting thing. Sometimes it's just not possible to co-parent. 

 

Quoting momdoes:

Having your son ready and willing to let him go to dads is not co-parenting either. That is called being NICE and respectful of dads time.

I co- parented with my ex, and it is not easy when you are not in love with that person or living with them! It entailed that we, as my sons parents, made decisions TOGETHER, came to agreements in regards to our son together. Kept fighting to a minimum, but most of all, made sure son was happy, healthy and didnt work us against each other by communicating with each other.

Again, this feat is not easy and alot of parents seem to fail. Even we failed sometimes (being hard-headed) but we would just look at aeach other and get back on track.

 

 


 

NDADanceMom
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 8:40 AM
Get help lady. You need to learn to recognize your focus should be on your son. Posting this stuff 2 and 3 times a day isn't going to change the fact that most women here think you are part of the problem if not most of it.
Your obsessive behavior and unwillingness to listen to us proves to us that you are just as stubborn with your x.
godsgirl26
by ♥Char2theMaine♥ on Jun. 27, 2013 at 8:42 AM
I don't know whats going on. But here's a bump for you.
AAP1988
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 8:43 AM

No I think you need help I am not part of the problem. Even the judge agreed with me. I sent her every text of me ever offering extra time, and I showed her the texts of how he goes to the bar thats why he doesn't take our son and the judge even said he needs to get his priorities straight. But I will not be responding to you anymore. 


Quoting NDADanceMom:

Get help lady. You need to learn to recognize your focus should be on your son. Posting this stuff 2 and 3 times a day isn't going to change the fact that most women here think you are part of the problem if not most of it.
Your obsessive behavior and unwillingness to listen to us proves to us that you are just as stubborn with your x.



AAP1988
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 8:45 AM

I can see some dads not being involved as much if they work long hours and things like that. Or living far away. 


Quoting momdoes:


youre right, its not possible at times. We live in different counties about 100 miles apart, so the school thing was a restriction in co parenting for us. I maintained that area but even withthat, I made sure ex knew every PTA meeting, every conference, school events such as plays and games son was in, etc. His participation was limited at times due to sickness or other issues but for the most part, ex was involved as much as he could be with school.

Quoting AAP1988:

I tried the co-parenting thing. Sometimes it's just not possible to co-parent. 


Quoting momdoes:

Having your son ready and willing to let him go to dads is not co-parenting either. That is called being NICE and respectful of dads time.

I co- parented with my ex, and it is not easy when you are not in love with that person or living with them! It entailed that we, as my sons parents, made decisions TOGETHER, came to agreements in regards to our son together. Kept fighting to a minimum, but most of all, made sure son was happy, healthy and didnt work us against each other by communicating with each other.

Again, this feat is not easy and alot of parents seem to fail. Even we failed sometimes (being hard-headed) but we would just look at aeach other and get back on track.







RADmomma
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 9:00 AM
I don't see why you can't put your son first for the sake of the relationship with his dad. I understand being a single patent & trying to get your ex to be a parent is hard... But you're the mom, sometimes you need to put your big girl panties on and do what's best for your son even if you don't like it.
mommykc
by Bronze Member on Jun. 27, 2013 at 9:19 AM
1 mom liked this
Don't listen to the negative responses u r getting from some of these moms. Yes they r expressing their opinion. But I bet the moms who r leaving these negative responses are not in that situation. They r probably still with their guy the child's father. I bet if they are put in that situation their negative response would be different. Good luck on what u do. U do what is necessary for your child.
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abcyrusmom26
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 12:21 PM
I try to co-parent as best as I can with my husband, however being a SAHM, it is hard to give up control so to speak... it is something I am working on bettering myself at.
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