Long Sad Story About Friends But I Need Some MAJOR Advice *Update*
Around midnight last night our 4 year old wakes my husband and I up because he sees the fire trucks, ambulences, and police cars outside our house. My husband gets up to see what happened and it looked like a really bad car accident involving 3 cars and a truck. Our street is a narrow one-way no trucks allowed so I still can't figure out how the truck got in our street. We lost power too as a result of the accident and saw many ambulances come and load people in. So after we go back to sleep my husband gets a call on his cell from our neighbors ex husband around 4am. I kinda doze off and end up going back to sleep and it's not until the morning that my husband tells me what happened.
Our neighbor, a good friend of ours, has 2 kids, Ryan is 6 and Nickolas just turned 3 last week. Our neighbor and Ryan were actually killed in that car accident last night. We still don't have a ton of details but apparently she left Nickolas home alone. I don't know where she was going at midnight with a 6 year old and a 3 year old home alone sleeping. I've been trying to think of what to tell my sons. My 5 and 4 year old were very close to Ryan and my 3 year old is very close to Nickolas.
Another thing that I have no idea what to do about is that our neighbor's ex husband wants us to adopt Nickolas. He left our neighbor and both boys when Nickolas was probably just a baby. He didn't want to be part of his own sons' lives back then and doesn't wanna be in Nickolas's life now either. He doesn't have any grandparents or aunts or uncles. My husband wants to go and adopt Nickolas and show him that he has someone else besides his mother cares for him. I certainly don't disagree with my him that the poor boy has no loving family that will accept him but I feel like we have our own family issues at the moment. We are expecting a baby in January/February, and my own 3 kids have been out of control since summer began and I just have a feeling adding a 4th boy under 6 would just make things more out of hand. We were also thinking about moving out of our current state to be closer to the family and I'm not sure how that would affect Nickolas if we do apoted him. He's lived here his whole life. My husband also said that since Nickolas has been over our house many times for play dates he would feel comfortable in our house. He's always well-behaved and polite. I really feel bad for this poor little boy but I just don't know what to do!
Also, thank you to all of you who have read this entire post. I just had to get all this info out of my system. I really am clueless what to tell my kids about Ryan's death.
First of all, thank you so much to everyone who posted! I really appreciate it and I will say many of the posts changed my opinion on if we adopt Nickolas or not. We are going to wait a few days before we make any final decisions but we are leaning towards adopting him. Nickolas is staying with us for the next few days. We told our kids about Ryan separately yesterday afternoon. Their were tears as expected. We did ask them all if they would be ok with Nickolas living with us and they all were. Also, I walked in on my husband talking to Nickolas last night and I heard my husband saying that he understands why he would be sad and that if he needs to talk to some one or needs anything in general he will gladly help him. It really touched me that Nickolas left our bedroom after the talk with a smile. So after giving my self a little over 24 hours to rethink everything, i'm now 95% positive that we will adopt Nickolas. I'll update you ladies if anything else happens. Thank you so much everyone! I really appreciate it!