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 Do you forgive people that make horrible mistakes? Like going off on you, or getting mad at something so tiny? If they apologize and change. Would you forgive them?

 

I have a friend that I've known since I was 7. She was 8. I was having an episode 2 years ago, and I went off on her for her continuously blowing off hanging out because it effected my kids (they would cry because all of a sudden they didn't get to hang out with their best friends- they were like 4 and 5). She would just make other plans. Well, we didn't talk for over a year. I asked her forgiveness and apologized and I let her cool off and left her alone for 2 years. I messaged her 4 months ago and asked how she was doing and we have been hanging out weekly since. She forgave me, but I completely understood if she chose not to.

Are you a forgiving person?

by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 5:22 AM
Replies (11-20):
Mama2ETA
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:57 AM

 I know what forgiveness is. I was giving an example I went through.

Quoting happymommy1105:

Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person or the restoring of a relationship.

Forgiveness is for myself, for mu own heart. forgiveness is so I can rid my own heart of anger and not become a bitter person.

Forgiveness is the realization that the past cannot be redone and that the debt I am owed cannot be repaid.

Forgiveness is allowing yourself to move past the anger and into healing.

Forgiveness is NOT the restoring of a relationship. forgiveness is NOT forgetting. forgiveness is NOT being a dormat.

 

godsgirl26
by ♥Char2theMaine♥ on Jun. 30, 2013 at 9:06 AM
I forgive. But that was stupid to go off on her like that.
boshs1andonly
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 9:09 AM

It takes a lot for me to really get angry at someone, so once I write them off, they don't usually get a second chance. But it all really depends on the situation and our relationship. There isn't much I wouldn't forgive my best friend for, she's been there for me through a lot of stuff. 

Mama2ETA
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 9:11 AM

 yes it was. I should have talked about it in a productive way. Can't change that now.

Quoting godsgirl26:

I forgive. But that was stupid to go off on her like that.

 

godsgirl26
by ♥Char2theMaine♥ on Jun. 30, 2013 at 9:11 AM
There must have been a good reason she was blowing you off and not wanting to hang out.. I would have let her come to me when she was ready to hang out lol.
But then a again I don't hang out with females because they are to messy, shady.
HIJKLM
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 9:13 AM
It depends on the situation but tend I hold a grudge... If it was bad enough to stop talking for 2 years I would just figure you were no longer someone I needed in my life.
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Mama2ETA
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 9:20 AM

 she came to me to hang out that time actually. I had let up because she was so busy. Then she didn't call/text (left her phone at work.....) so my kids were waiting around for them and they never showed. It was shitty on both of our parts.

Quoting godsgirl26:

There must have been a good reason she was blowing you off and not wanting to hang out.. I would have let her come to me when she was ready to hang out lol.
But then a again I don't hang out with females because they are to messy, shady.

 

Mama2ETA
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 9:21 AM

 hard pregnancy and new baby. I didn't want to push and I'm sure I was the last thing on her mind.

Quoting HIJKLM:

It depends on the situation but tend I hold a grudge... If it was bad enough to stop talking for 2 years I would just figure you were no longer someone I needed in my life.

 

happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 9:28 AM
You equated forgiveness to the restoring of a relationship. that's not what forgiveness is.

That is the restoring of a relationship.

The two things are not mutually exclusive.

I forgave my ex husband for beating the cap out of me but the relationship will never be restored.



Quoting Mama2ETA:

 I know what forgiveness is. I was giving an example I went through.


Quoting happymommy1105:

Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person or the restoring of a relationship.

Forgiveness is for myself, for mu own heart. forgiveness is so I can rid my own heart of anger and not become a bitter person.

Forgiveness is the realization that the past cannot be redone and that the debt I am owed cannot be repaid.

Forgiveness is allowing yourself to move past the anger and into healing.

Forgiveness is NOT the restoring of a relationship. forgiveness is NOT forgetting. forgiveness is NOT being a dormat.

 

Mama2ETA
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 9:31 AM

 uh, no. She forgave me for the things I said, and I forgave her for hurting my children.

Quoting happymommy1105:

You equated forgiveness to the restoring of a relationship. that's not what forgiveness is.

That is the restoring of a relationship.

The two things are not mutually exclusive.

I forgave my ex husband for beating the cap out of me but the relationship will never be restored.



Quoting Mama2ETA:

 I know what forgiveness is. I was giving an example I went through.


Quoting happymommy1105:

Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person or the restoring of a relationship.

Forgiveness is for myself, for mu own heart. forgiveness is so I can rid my own heart of anger and not become a bitter person.

Forgiveness is the realization that the past cannot be redone and that the debt I am owed cannot be repaid.

Forgiveness is allowing yourself to move past the anger and into healing.

Forgiveness is NOT the restoring of a relationship. forgiveness is NOT forgetting. forgiveness is NOT being a dormat.

 

 

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