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 Do you forgive people that make horrible mistakes? Like going off on you, or getting mad at something so tiny? If they apologize and change. Would you forgive them?

 

I have a friend that I've known since I was 7. She was 8. I was having an episode 2 years ago, and I went off on her for her continuously blowing off hanging out because it effected my kids (they would cry because all of a sudden they didn't get to hang out with their best friends- they were like 4 and 5). She would just make other plans. Well, we didn't talk for over a year. I asked her forgiveness and apologized and I let her cool off and left her alone for 2 years. I messaged her 4 months ago and asked how she was doing and we have been hanging out weekly since. She forgave me, but I completely understood if she chose not to.

Are you a forgiving person?

by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 5:22 AM
Replies (71-80):
mom_dl6
by Platinum Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:39 PM

Yes i am!   I might be mad for a moment but at the end of the day Forgivness keeps me stress free and Light hearted ,plus anger and grudges/unforgivness take more energy than to just forgive and be free of the mental chains that can bind you to rancid energy that just eats a person up......So i chose to stay unchained to Neg. energy !

                         


jojo_star
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:48 PM

Depends on the situation. 

bad_mama2011
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:37 PM
I think I'm a forgiving person, even if the other person never apologizes, but there are a few people I would never be able to forgive unless they apologized and changed because what they did was so horrible.
voltaicbelle
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 2:38 PM

I'm a forgiving person.  Probably why I have friendships that are decades old.  My best friend and I have been friends for 38 years - My other best friends I've had for 30 years and 27 years...along with many others I've met along the way who I have very long-term friendships with.

I manage to keep these friendships because I (and they) all understand that we're not perfect, we make mistakes, we get angry, we take time to cool off, we forgive and make-up.

Live is good because we all have that understanding about relationships.

I once didn't speak to my oldest BFF for two years - not because we were mad at each other, but because our lives just drifted in different directions.  When the time was right, we found each other again. :)

dedicatedmama2
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 2:44 PM
I forgive but I dont forget all the time. While my husband was deployed a girl told my dh that I was cheating on him. First off I would NEVER cheat on him plus I was pregnant living with my parents and SO in love with my dh. My own father would have killed me if I cheated on him. Thankfully this girl is known as a big fat lier so my dh didnt even believe her but still her trying to ruin our marriage I did not stay friends with her.
supercarp
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 3:04 PM

That was a minor mistake, not a horrible one. A horrible one would be betraying a confidence, doing something humiliating or stealing something. I would forgive, but then I would distance myself.

alexis_06
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 3:51 PM

 i forgive and forget...however, about 9 yrs ago i had a friend, she was my bestest friend, and i totally messed up with her..i hurt her soooo much..i felt so bad, so guilty, so ashamed...she DID forgive me....but..*I* couldnt look at her the same for how i treated her...so even tho she wanted to reamin friends, i felt like i just had to break it off..its been 9 yrs..i havent seen or talked to her since...i know shes on facebook (were not "friends" on there tho), and i was gonna message her..but..i just cant..i still feel horrible..

IBNeaters
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:20 PM
Exactly--I know in my heart I've forgiven my ex, but when those horrible feelings of hate come flowing back, that's when I doubt myself. I'm never going to forget what he did to me, but that doesn't mean I have to live my life stewing in his crap. I would go crazy and I would make my son crazy as well. I've also made a promise to myself that I would never say an ill word to my son about his dead beat scum bag father :)
Quoting katye43:

 The bible says forgive, not forget.  Forgetting lets you open for someone to do it to you again.

Quoting IBNeaters:

I'm sorry, but where in the Bible does it say we need to forgive in just 2 circumstances.  My ex NEVER even asked for forgiveness and doesn't even believe what he did was wrong.  So I should just hold onto that and be mad forever?  Uh, no!  I should forgive him--even if I never utter the words to him, "I forgive you".  As a previous poster stated, forgiveness isn't for the other person, it's for you.  If I only forgave ppl according to your standards, I'd be an ugly mess.  That doesn't mean I reconcile with my ex, I just have to move on in my heart.  The Bible teaches us to forgive in ALL situations.  I've had a pretty crappy life and have been through a lot of therapy to get to the place I am now and to understand that only through the power of Jesus, am I able to forgive those who have hurt me.  It's a work in progress as my sometimes my blood still boils when I talk to my ex, but I meditate and pray every day.  

 

Quoting Redwall:

We're only required (by the Bible) to forgive in two circumstances...they don't know what they did is hurtful in which case we need to explain it to them...and if they truly repent and ask for forgiveness. 

If I want to forgive more, that's not true repentance and I'm putting a stamp on bad behavior.

 

 

 


LilliesValley
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:22 PM

It just depends. Sometimes there's no point in putting effort in where someone else wouldn't sometimes there is. I take each opportunity and examine it and decide.

dingysfamily
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 6:47 PM

Yes, I do tend to be; especially when I feel an apology is sincere.  If I'm the one doing the apologizing, I make sure it's known it's sincere.

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