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depression

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 3:41 PM
  • 6 Replies
Hi I am Wendy 24 DD just turned 1. I didn't have the baby blues or anything like that after she was born. In the past year my father and grandmother has passed away. My dad and I were really close so I took his death really hard. But I didn't show it to anyone. Felt like I needed to be strong for my mom and my daughter. Recently I have been feeling a huge weight on my heart feel like I am pushing dh out of the picture. I am finding it hard to enjoy my little girl grow up and keep thinking about my father and how he should be here. Dh thinks I am just dwelling on it too much but every milestone she reaches just reminds me her gramps isn't around to see it. I need some reassurance that this ia normal and some advice on how to talk to dh about it
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 3:41 PM
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Replies (1-6):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 3:56 PM

I would just talk to hiim about it and let him know you just need to be listened to (no responding back unless you ask for his input) and to be held.  My parents are still alive but across the country so they have not seen alot of dd's milestones.   I wish my g-grandmother was still alive since she would be tickled pink to have all these girls to spoil and love.  i have 2 nieces and a nephew as well that are missing out on that.  

It is hard when we lose family members but they are most likely in a better place and still probably watching over you and your family as life goes on here.

I

OCALAMOMOFTWINS
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:16 PM

Of course it is normal. You are going through the grieving process and it will be over when its over. You cannot rush it , I know it hurts and you just want the pain to be over. At the same time, you have a family and a young child to take care of. That can sap your energy even when you are not in grief. 

Maybe you should consider talking to a mental health professional for a little while. They can guide you though the process. If depression is effecting your family life, maybe they will prescribe an antidepressant for a while. You should try to talk to someone soon. I had to do the same thing when I was splitting up with my sons' father shortly after they were born.

LuLuRex
by Silver Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:21 PM

I agree with this.


Quoting OCALAMOMOFTWINS:

Of course it is normal. You are going through the grieving process and it will be over when its over. You cannot rush it , I know it hurts and you just want the pain to be over. At the same time, you have a family and a young child to take care of. That can sap your energy even when you are not in grief. 

Maybe you should consider talking to a mental health professional for a little while. They can guide you though the process. If depression is effecting your family life, maybe they will prescribe an antidepressant for a while. You should try to talk to someone soon. I had to do the same thing when I was splitting up with my sons' father shortly after they were born.



da_chan
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 6:37 PM
I lost my father when I was twenty to cancer eight years ago. I just had my first baby and even though its been a long time since his passing, not a day goes by when I don't think of how thrilled he'd be with his granddaughter. And not just my little girl, but all six of his grandchildren. The sadness you feel, is completely normal. You are not alone. I was a wreck that first year and with my first nephew being born just before he passed made it hard. Like you said, every milestone missed was bittersweet.
My boyfriend, now my husband, was out of his element, but was always there to listen. Be honest about how you feel. Don't sugar coat it. If you feel angry and cheated, don't feel bad. It's all part of the grieving process and its important to let your DH know how you feel so he can understand where your coming from. I personally started a hobby, knitting in fact, and the methodical process helped my anxiety, snd gave me something to take my mind off thibgs. you should maybe think about taking up something, reading or crafting, anything to take your mind off things. And take care of yourself. If you need to talk or vent, send me a pm.
emmasmom12
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:06 PM
I really appreciate all of y'alls advice I don't know why but it is just hard to talk to him about stuff that bothers me I have always been the rock in our relationship the strong one the one that kept things together and I feel like I am the one falling apart now and makea me feel like everything else will fall apart too and a part of me doesn't want to be here when it happens maybe that's why I am trying to pull away. I was very close to my dad and he was the one that I could go to and get advice from.
emmasmom12
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:22 PM
One more thing....dh and i had sex for the first time in 2 weeks and for the first time in our 8 year relationship I wasn't really into it normally I would cuddle up to him after and tell him I love you but last night I just rolled over and went to sleep he noticed I know he knows there is something going on with me but as I said before I don't know how to be the venerable one.
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