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Help

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 5:25 PM
  • 10 Replies

So my names Heather, im new to this site. And i need advice or support, i dont know really. I'm lonley, i'm struggling to build a relationship with the babies father but it isn't going good. I'm almost five months, and today i had a severe stomach pain and i dont know if its me being pregnant or something to worry over. I see the docter next week. Emotionally i feel drained, mentally just exhausted. Everyday just goes by as another day, and i've been struggling to quit smoking. Marijuana. I've been depressed and when i smoke i feel numb, like i cannot feel or even cry. Though sometimes i lose control and i do cry...my nights are the worst. I feel i'm stressing the baby out with my emotions, the baby doesn't deserve any of this and i dont know how to be strong. I feel weak. I feel alone. I have family here, but i focus alot on the father on my child. I've been trying to rebuild our relationship, but the lack of trust on his part is my fault. And i cant find a way to let him see it will be different. I feel like i barely have a grip on anything. I dont know what to do, im at a loss...

by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 5:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 5:32 PM

You need professional help so that you can heal and love yourself before others can see that you are changing.  It is good that you are trying to quit nasty habits but again you may need outside professional help to do it safely so that you or the baby are not harmed.  Why are you fighting so hard for a guy who apparently does not want to be involved?  I would focus on myself and moving forward.  if family is supporting you in a positive way, lean on them for strength.

hugss
by Ruby Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 6:05 PM

I agree with all that was said here,
Allow your family to help/support you.
As well as get some professional help hon.
Good luck & let us know how you're doing :)

Quoting frndlyfn:

You need professional help so that you can heal and love yourself before others can see that you are changing.  It is good that you are trying to quit nasty habits but again you may need outside professional help to do it safely so that you or the baby are not harmed.  Why are you fighting so hard for a guy who apparently does not want to be involved?  I would focus on myself and moving forward.  if family is supporting you in a positive way, lean on them for strength.


frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 6:12 PM

PS  i am also a Heather LOL.  We are prone to being depressed.

Bmat
by Ruby Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 6:20 PM

Hi, Heather! Welcome! Talk to your ob, perhaps they can help.  Hormones will mess with your emotions.

lovechild9490
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 6:23 PM

I cannot even forgive myself for causing so much pain to the father of my child. He cant even believe the child is his. I wasnt with anyone but him, but emotionally i corrupted him. And i cant seem to change this, no matter how hard i try

mama23brie
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 6:27 PM
Everything will be ok. If you have supportive family run to them, not a man you may or may not be able to depend on. I smoked during my last pregnancies, don't beat yourself up over it. Just try to wean yourself off. Stopping suddenly on top of already being depressed and stressed out will just make it worse. Don't let anyone on here make you feel bad for smoking. You do what you gotta do to cope. But professional help would be a good route to take. Look into getting therapy and single parent support groups.
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mama23brie
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 6:31 PM
You aren't going to be able to change how he thinks and feels. So your best bet is going to be to let go and let him make his own decisions. When the baby is born things will unfold how they need to. You need to trust that everything happens for a reason and that your baby only needs you. If he comes around then good that's a bonus. Maybe you'll have the family you want so badly. But don't force it. Cuz you'll only hurt yourself more.
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lovechild9490
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 6:37 PM

Because i heard my child could be taken if drugs are found in my system or the childs at birth. 

taKENheart
by Flovely on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:30 PM

Oh well, that explains it all, lol, I'm a Heather too.

OP I hope you can let your family in so that they can support  you while you are going through so much.  You may need professional help as well but don't let that bother you.  Quite a few of us have benefited from it.  I wish you all the best!

Quoting frndlyfn:

PS  i am also a Heather LOL.  We are prone to being depressed.

 

lovechild9490
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:33 PM

I've been in therapy before but i didn't like going then, i was young and felt forced. I have considered it now, i just get so lonley i dont know where else to go. 

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