Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Is this rude, or is it just me? EDITED TO ADD #3

Posted by   + Show Post

I stopped at the grocery store this morning with my 9 month old daughter to pick up a loaf of bread.  I got in the check out line behind two people.  The lady right in front of me had a cart load of groceries.  So I stood there in line, holding my daughter and a loaf of bread waiting for my turn.

I thought it was inconsiderate to not offer to let me ahead of her.  If I find myself in a similar situation I always offer, even if I have my kids and the person behind me is alone.  To me, it's just common courtesy.

FYI. There was only 1 line open, no express line.  She absolutely knew I was there because she had to go around me to grab a magazine from the rack behind me.

ETA.  Wow.  I really didn't expect that I would be in the minority on this one.  I thought that letting someone ahead of you in line was just common courtesy, like holding the door for the person behind you.  

I'm really surprised that some of you think I was rude by expecting to be allowed to go ahead.  First of all, I didn't actually "expect" it (I've learned a long time ago that expecting people to be considerate and polite is a waste of time), I just thought it was inconsiderate. Secondly, even if I did expect it, I don't see how that would be rude.  I mean, expecting people to be kind and considerate of others is rude?  Hmmmm.  Perhaps if I had said something to her, that would have been rude, but I simply waited patiently in line with my daughter.

I do get that her time is just as important as mine, but honestly what is 30 seconds to anyone?

And, for further clarification I am not a spoiled, entitled brat.  I'm just someone who was raised to go out of my way to help others and am sometimes surprised that not everyone was taught common courtesy.

ETA #2.

Well apparently I am in the minority on this one.  I honestly thought this was a common act of courtesy.  I do it all of the time and others have done it for me. 

You can continue to believe that I am a spoiled, entitled brat.  But just remember, the next time you are stuck in traffic, trying to merge and someone lets you in it might be me.  Or if you are running through a downpour towards the bank, and someone waits an extra 5 seconds to hold the door for you, it might be me.

ETA #3.

Well, I'm glad to see I have a couple of supporters out there.  I guess we just look at the world a little differently that the majority of people.  

To those who resorted to name calling (you know who you are), all I have to say is "how rude!"




by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 10:39 AM
Replies (191-200):
etsmom
by Silver Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:52 PM

Was she elderly? I would not really take offense to it, she was there first. 

bcauseimthemom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:55 PM

Honestly, I wouldn't have offered to let you go before me either.  If I had gotten in line before you, well then that is the way it goes.  Just because you were holding your baby and had just one item it does not entitle you to go before anyone else.  How do you know that the person in front of you wasn't in a hurry??  

Sister_Someone
by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 11:15 PM

I don't think you're entitled, or a spoiled brat, for whatever that's worth. If that's how you were raised and what you believe in, good for you.

That said, I wouldn't offer to let you ahead either. It's my spot, I came there first and I value my time just as much as anyone else's. I also very rarely hold doors or let people merge in the traffic in front of me. My life's experience has taught me that I'm happier when I look out for myself first.

IfTheTiaraFits
by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 11:17 PM
It's a typical action around here. I also tend to let moms with little ones in front of me, regardless of how many items they have. I remember trying to get the shopping done with a little one in tow. If I can help them on their way a little faster, why not?
codfish
by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 11:21 PM
I usually let people go ahead. If I have been waiting forever I line though, you can keep yourself behind me.
texassahm
by Gold Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 11:33 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't necessarily call it "rude" - but where I come from, it's a common courtesy.  Even to let someone go ahead of you who does not have kids with them.

FWIW - It's what *I* do all the time.  I even offer to let people go in front of me when I have less than they do, if they seem like the could use a "pay it forward moment."  It's rare that I get to go to the store without kids, when I do, I take my time and give "the right of way" to others who need it more than I do.

LDavis33
by Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 7:57 AM
Because I only had one item. As I said I always let people behind me go if I have a cartful and they only have one or two items, regardless of whether my kids are with me or not and regardless of whether they have children with them or not.
Quoting katfeemom:

I'm sorry, did you expect her to let you go ahead of her because you only had one item?  Or was it because you 'had a baby'?

ysmeine
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 8:25 AM

Letting someone go ahead is nice, but is not the same as holding a door or letting someone merge. Actually people have a right to drive in that lane and that would be common courtesy. Letting someone cut is more along the lines of buying someone coffee. 

hadudnbaby
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 8:37 AM
I completely understand where you were coming from. I have twin toddlers I always go grocery shopping with, and I can't even tell you how many times I've allowed the person behind me with three items to go ahead of me. On the other hand, I can literally tell you it's only happened twice when someone allowed me to go ahead of them when I've only got juice, milk and bread and two impatient babies/toddlers with me. And that dear, is why you got bashed by so many over this post. We are far and few between these days. :-(
ashley9603
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 8:40 AM

I wanted to say that I always let someone ahead of me if they have less...just something automatic I do,especially if I have a full cart and they only have a few things.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)