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Is this rude, or is it just me? EDITED TO ADD #3

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I stopped at the grocery store this morning with my 9 month old daughter to pick up a loaf of bread.  I got in the check out line behind two people.  The lady right in front of me had a cart load of groceries.  So I stood there in line, holding my daughter and a loaf of bread waiting for my turn.

I thought it was inconsiderate to not offer to let me ahead of her.  If I find myself in a similar situation I always offer, even if I have my kids and the person behind me is alone.  To me, it's just common courtesy.

FYI. There was only 1 line open, no express line.  She absolutely knew I was there because she had to go around me to grab a magazine from the rack behind me.

ETA.  Wow.  I really didn't expect that I would be in the minority on this one.  I thought that letting someone ahead of you in line was just common courtesy, like holding the door for the person behind you.  

I'm really surprised that some of you think I was rude by expecting to be allowed to go ahead.  First of all, I didn't actually "expect" it (I've learned a long time ago that expecting people to be considerate and polite is a waste of time), I just thought it was inconsiderate. Secondly, even if I did expect it, I don't see how that would be rude.  I mean, expecting people to be kind and considerate of others is rude?  Hmmmm.  Perhaps if I had said something to her, that would have been rude, but I simply waited patiently in line with my daughter.

I do get that her time is just as important as mine, but honestly what is 30 seconds to anyone?

And, for further clarification I am not a spoiled, entitled brat.  I'm just someone who was raised to go out of my way to help others and am sometimes surprised that not everyone was taught common courtesy.

ETA #2.

Well apparently I am in the minority on this one.  I honestly thought this was a common act of courtesy.  I do it all of the time and others have done it for me. 

You can continue to believe that I am a spoiled, entitled brat.  But just remember, the next time you are stuck in traffic, trying to merge and someone lets you in it might be me.  Or if you are running through a downpour towards the bank, and someone waits an extra 5 seconds to hold the door for you, it might be me.

ETA #3.

Well, I'm glad to see I have a couple of supporters out there.  I guess we just look at the world a little differently that the majority of people.  

To those who resorted to name calling (you know who you are), all I have to say is "how rude!"




by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 10:39 AM
Replies (51-60):
LDavis33
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:20 PM

I just always thought that this action was simple common courtesy, much like holding a door for someone or saying "please" and "thank you".  That is just how I was raised.  I have gathered from the responses to my post that the majority of people just don't see it the same way.  I guess it is what it is.  Some people will try to help out others and some won't.  Just the way of the world I guess.

Quoting coupon_ash_back:

How is it common courtesy? If I'm next I'm next. I don't look at whose behind me to see how much or little they have. All I care about is watching my kids.


LDavis33
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:23 PM

I suppose it is possible that she didn't see me (although probably not likely).  I think it's kind of sad that there are so many people on here who seem to think that by me hoping for others to be considerate I am actually the rude rude one. 

Quoting Momofmenagerie:

My father taught me a Long time ago to let the elderly and people with leads that four items go in front. Women, men, elderly, anyone.


Courtesy is being lost.

Not a thank you, when a a door is opened, not a thank you for tips or an order being filled correctly, a refill of tea.

No one remembers appropriate courtesy .
I'm sorry, but I bet she really didn't you while reaching for the magazine... People are much to much involved in themselves. But it happens.
I'm sorry


silverdawn99
by Jamie on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:28 PM

lol no it is not rude

she could have been in a hurry just like you

and its not common courtest to expect something out of a total stranger

othermom
by Ruby Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:34 PM

I will usually offer to let some one with just a few items go ahead of me if I have a lot, but not always

Vicariously
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:39 PM

 I wouldn't call it rude.

mommybug77
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:41 PM
I find you to be rude personally.
goldilocksbecky
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:01 PM

 No, it's not really a "standard, expected" thing.  Saying please and thank you are universal.  Holding the door for the person behind you is universal. 

What you're talking about isn't really "universal".  It's an above and beyond act of kindness.  It's a good one.  It's something that I do as often as I can.  But it's not a standard, universal thing.  There are a million and one random acts of kindness that a person can offer up.  One person might take someone else's cart back to the cart corral for them.  Another person could take pity on my short self and get items from the top shelf for me in a store. Another person might pay for a needy looking family's groceries.  Someone else might be giving their neighbor a ride to the store or picking up groceries for the senior citizen who lives down the street.  All of those are great, wonderful things to do.  Your version of  "an extra little act of kindness" just happens to be letting people go in front of you at the checkout if they only have one thing.  That's something that you tune in to and make a point to do.  But somebody else may tune in to something different that you've never even thought to notice (like me trying to get the can off the top shelf or the old lady in the parking lot who could use a hand loading her groceries and returning her cart). 

Don't place your chosen "little act of kindness" on a higher level than other people's just because it's the one that YOU notice or think of.  For all you know, the lady in front of you could have been making a grocery run for a shut-in neighbor.   Imagine how you would feel if people called you rude because you don't happen to do "their thing" . . . the thing that they tune in to and try to take care of.  It's kind of like being active volunteer and donor with the cancer society and the arthritis association (because they hold personal meaning to you) but then having someone from the diabetes foundation tell you you're rude and inconsiderate because you don't give to them.

 

Quoting LDavis33:

I just always thought that this action was simple common courtesy, much like holding a door for someone or saying "please" and "thank you".  That is just how I was raised.  I have gathered from the responses to my post that the majority of people just don't see it the same way.  I guess it is what it is.  Some people will try to help out others and some won't.  Just the way of the world I guess.

Quoting coupon_ash_back:

How is it common courtesy? If I'm next I'm next. I don't look at whose behind me to see how much or little they have. All I care about is watching my kids.


 

 

wendythewriter
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:21 PM

I don't think you're rude or entitled, but I don't think SHE was rude for not letting you go ahead either. She was there first, period.

It's a kindness when someone lets you skip ahead of them. I do it sometimes, but not always. I'm sorry, but when I have 2 hyper kids and a cart full of dairy and other perishable items, I am not going to stand around half the day letting people with less than me go ahead of me. I'll certainly try to be nice to you, but I'm not going to inconvenience myself to that degree to do so.

As someone else pointed out, we all have our little thing that we do to help others. Just because you do it doesn't mean everyone else should, too. If she had seen you coming to the line and then raced you to get there first, okay, yeah I'd say that was a bit rude. But the fact that she got there before you and had the gall to keep her place in line? No, that's not rudeness.

AMRios
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:21 PM

I always let people go ahead of me if they only have a few things and I grocery shop with 4 kids... It is common courtesy... People do the same for me if I only have a few things but it is very rare I go to the grocery store for a few things... 

amylulu1
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:31 PM

I don't think she was rude--just not very courteous.  I would have taken my loaf of bread to the customer service counter and asked them to check me out since there were no other lanes open.  I let people in front of me all the time as well, but I don't expect everyone else to offer the same courtesy.  

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