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How would you handle this?? Do you think I am wrong??? piog

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My 9 year old dd is in love with Bruno Mars and because he is a different race than us, my husband is not happy...he actually teases my dd about this and says not nice things to her..it really came as a shock to me because my husband works with and is friends with more people that are different races than us ..than are the same race as us...hope I said that right...

so I told my daughter that it is perfectly fine that she likes him...and I feel bad for going against my dh...

Am I over reacting?? Interracial marriage is not accepted in my family..at all..even though I see nothing wrong with it and I think interracial babies are gorgeous...and I believe that God created all people to be equal...

I mean she is only 9...and my 13 yr old is obsessed with Justin Bieber, and 1D and such...but I dont want my kids to grow up feeling that they don't have a choice...so what would you do???

by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 6:58 PM
Replies (21-30):
JacobsMommy0808
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 8:35 PM

I live in the deep south in Louisiana.  my family is from the south and we were raised with  true southern vallues.   but in NO WAY is racism ok! my grandparents always told my parents, my siblings, my cousins, and i that if we married someone of another race or the same gender that they would disown us.  they do not claim their first born great grandchild because he is half mexican and my cousin and his fiance werent married at the time.  and because of the way my grandparents raised my parents (my dad by his mom and dad and my mom mostly in foster care) they raised us to love and respect people of every race and sexuality. 

I am very ashamed to admit this and have been asking for God's forgiveness ever since i did it but a few years ago when my younger sister was 14 she was at school. she went to a public  school in miami where the dress code was nonexistent and since she had cramps she chose to wear sweat pants to school that day.  she had just gotten a brand new iPod touch for christmas and had it in her front pocket, and while she was walking in outside to go to a class in a different building, a young black man had the audacity to sick his hand in my little sisters front pocket, took out her iPod, and ran off.  and before he ran off he grabbed my younger sister's bottom.  i was out of town away at college and Im ashamed to say i called that young man a very horrible racist term.  again I NEVER use that or any racist terms and am in no way racist and i felt horrible for saying it once i did.   I think it was more shock and disdain that he had the cojones to put his hand down the front of her pants! and whats worse is that the school wouldnt do anything about it! all they said was call ur dad and have him take you home. lets just say my parents homeschooled her from that day on.

anyways (sorry about the rant) if you truly have concerns about your husband trying to push his beliefs on or making fun of ur child for having a crush on someone of a differnt race, I would privately talk to him and tell him why you are not comfortable with him saying things like that.


I am TRULY SORRY if i have offended anyone for the aweful word i spoke of in the story of what happened to my little sister! I truly am in no ways racist and i have love and respect for all races!

143myboys9496
by Gold Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 8:08 AM

 First of all, because she likes a singer who's a different race than you doesn't mean she'll marry that race or another race different than yours.

Personally I think, to drag marriage into this situation, is really jumping the gun. Leave it for what it is..he's a singer and she likes him. BFD about his race.

Worry about her and interracial marriage when she starts dating a guy who's a different race than yours.

And yes, I'd have gone against dh in this situation as well.

momof6andmore
by Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 5:18 PM

Thanks for the insight ladies..we are making progress I believe... 

TheMrs407
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 5:34 PM
I agree 100%.

Quoting lenashark:

I would have gone against him and I would have firmly told my husband that he will not act like a racist in front of our kids and teach them those things.

blue_apalt
by Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 5:40 PM

I think a) that while, I try to never go behind dh to our kids, that what your dh is teaching her is wrong and yes I would have told her the same as you.  2) I would also sit down w/ dh and let him know mpov and request that he not bug our dd about it and that it is a form of racism.  I'd want to know WHY he thought as he did and I would argue my POV w/ him, and then I would let him know I told dd my pov as well,


Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 5:53 PM

It wouldn't even cross my mind to be upset at the child.  The adult would definately be spoken to discreetly even if only to say, you don't get to say those things to the child.  They are wrong and cross a parenting line.

Tammywhynot
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:21 PM
Does your dh really think that hes gonna get a say in who she falls in love with when the time comes. I met my dh when I was 17 and prodestant he was 22 roman catholic & had kids my dad was mental about it. as my family is irish,But 15 years later we r still together and have 2 beautiful girls together.
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Whovian82
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:30 PM

You picked a real winner to marry....

tokeahontas
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:34 PM
LOL what she said ...


Quoting Schizomom91:

Gonna slowly back out....

sallymaggie
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:35 PM
Wow your DH is racist!
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