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I regret having to use it on my bf, but was I right to?

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I'm 23 yrs. old and have been dating this guy for about 4 mos. now. At first he seemed open and supportive, but as of late it's gotten progressively worse. I happen to take taekwondo, and have for about 7 mos now. He hadn't been threatening to me in any way before. That's why what happened last night is so surprising. We got into an argument, about job/finances-mostly me pushing him to make more of an effort. He got very rude with me, and it got to the point where I wanted to leave the room, just try the discussion another time. He grabbed my arm at the wrist as I was walking away. Then I used a serious tone telling him "NOT to do that!" He mocked me (as he's aware of my taking taekwondo) saying "Oh, what are you going to do, use your little strip mall dojo crap?" Ooookay, now I see! I simply faced him, assessing where it would go from there. I simply told him not to go there. He responds with a sneer and "We'll see about that!" and flung back his right hand to slap my face. I reacted exactly as we've practiced in class so many times, ducking under his hand. He missed, and his momentum threw him sort off of balance. When I came up, I took 1 step back, and with my left leg, maximum flexibility (since he's 7 inches taller), used a crescent kick (where you kick in a motion-inside out in a circular motion) on him, nailed the side of his face. He stumbled back about 2 steps but didn't go down. Instead he yelled "Why you bit**!" at me and flung his arm out for another slap attempt. It was easy to see though, and without thinking I used another crescent kick on him, this time with my right leg, nailed him good on the other side of his face. He went down. I used that moment to grab my handbag and leave, I didn't bother to grab anything else. I haven't called any mutual acquaintances yet, so I don't know what he's said or done since last night. I'm staying with a friend right now. I had no hint something like this would happen. I just reacted the way I was trained in class, and it worked. I wonder if it was too much though. Thoughts? Advice? Thanks.

by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 2:12 PM
Replies (41-50):
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 10:47 PM
Report it to the police and walk away from the relationship.
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 10:52 PM
file a police report and don't go back unless h you have a cop with you . Oh and kudos!!! :-) I took karate and self defense class :-) I hope I never have to use it :-)
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 10:52 PM

Not too much.  Probably best not to pursue a relationship with this guy...

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 1:53 AM

Um it's only been 4 months and you already live with him!????

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:48 AM

You where in your fll right to defend yourself.

If anything I'd call the cops , tell them what happened and tell them you want an escort to get your remanding stuff.

P.S.- Don't regret protecting yourself. I'd regret being with a guy that beats me before I'd put myself down. Infact  6 years ago I was in that position and now Im with my husband who understands my past history with that X and swore to protect me from any violence again seeing I physically can't.

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:55 AM
hmm if u not wanna be with him anymore than yes u did the right things
man not gonna be with a girl that kicked his ass haha
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:55 AM
You need to call the police and file a report. You also need to leave. There is never, NEVER, a reason to hit someone out of anger. You acted in self defense and, based on your story, were not out of line BUT you need to contact the police.
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:22 AM

i couldn't be more proud of you -- you are one awesome woman!!!!  you had every right to defend yourself against anyone who attempts to assault you -- if this person had been a stranger on the street, you would have reacted the same way -- so please don't feel bad about what you did to him -- feel extremely proud of protecting yourself and standing up for yourself and for standing up for women all over.  WOW, i will say it again, you are awesome. now, PLEASE DO NOT GO NEAR THIS ASSHOLE EVER AGAIN!!! 

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 8:05 AM
In self defense? You were totally within your rights! The only thing I would done different is called or went to the police station to file a report of assault/ attempted assault and a temporary order of protective custody instead of waiting for him to.

Otherwise, my opinion differs from many.... He grabbed your wrist, making you feel vulnerable, but instead of giving into " flight" mode you fought, using the skills you were taught....and you probably saved yourself some serious damage.... And now you know his isn't the one for you ....much earlier than a lot of women.
I'm sorry he tried to take some serious anger on you.... But proud you were able to keep your wits about you and keep yourself safe from your own bodily harm.
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 8:07 AM

I agre with a couple of previous posters.  You need to go to the police department TODAY and file a report.  You want it on file that he was being violent with you, you tried to leave, he restrained you, you asked him to let you go, he mocked you and continued to restrain/physically threaten you, you defended yourself and left immediately.  I would also request a restraining order.  You need to address this before he has a chance to file assault charges on you or come back at you for revenge.

I would also have an officer go with you TODAY to get anything that you still have there.  Two reasons for that.  First, you've bruised his ego, big time.  Which is a prime set  up for him to destroy your things out of spite.  And two, it's also a prime for him to want put you in your place physically or stalk/harrass you.  If you still have things there, that gives him an "in", a reason to make contact with you.  Even if he calls you up and doesn't make any mention whatsoever about making arrangements for you to get your stuff, if you try to address the harrassment and threats, that will be an "excuse" for him to fall back on.  He'll say that's why he called, even if it's not.

Go to the police.  Get a report on file.  Get a TRO.  Have an officer go with you to get your things.  Sever all contact with him.


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