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I have to deal with my daughter who dont like sharing.

Posted by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:15 PM
  • 23 Replies

Soo first of all lets start with my girl Natalia all she loves to play with boys her age or older but not younger than her. I always tell her ''sharing is caring" she dont love to share with other kids and same thing happen at the library, the last time we went to the library she wanted to go to play with toys and blocks but dont like sharing at all unless she want to, how can i be polite and tell her to share with others? While shes at home, shes always whinning, crying and fighting she doesnt listen to her parents. Im always dealing with her issues and i have to go thru this everyday and teaching her lessons and follow rules and she is only 3 y/o but she only listen and follow rules when she want to other than that now she wont do it. Have any of you guys ever get into this situations where they wont listen to you or dont like sharing with other kids, please share your stories?? I would love to hear them and get some advice thank you!!!

by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:40 PM

Sharing is a hard concept for 3 yr olds.   DD is 7 and still has issues at times sharing but we continually reinforce that when we share, the item will come back to original owner.  At 3 yrs old and under , we would ask her to pass us the toy she had in her hand and then 30 seconds later we would give it back and tell her ty for sharing.

 Are you not her parent, what relationship is she to you?  I noticed you said she does not listen to her parents.  She needs to have consistent consequences when she does not listen to any adult that is in charge at the moment.

lesalmi
by Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:43 PM

My daughter did this when she was little. It got to the point of if she wouldnt share, I would take it away and give it to the other kid and let her watch them play with it. Seems harsh but she learned quick

Lovemyshadows
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 4:52 PM

Why does she have to share?  We don't share when we grow up.  May I share your shirt?  I think we do our children a disservice when we make them share.  IMHO

JollyMommy84
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 5:13 PM

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Indiemom880
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 5:25 PM

The whole thing just came naturally for my older daughter. She is just naturally social and empathetic so I can't say that I have any great ideas for teaching this concept. I know I see a lot of parents struggling with this issue so you're not alone. I just wanted to say hang in there! Sometimes it just takes a little longer for kids to get there.

ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 5:34 PM
So you don't share your couch or table and chairs when you have guests....you wouldn't share your bed and/or closet with you SO,you don't share the road with other drivers... Adults share all the time without even thinking about it because we were taught as children.


Quoting Lovemyshadows:

Why does she have to share?  We don't share when we grow up.  May I share your shirt?  I think we do our children a disservice when we make them share.  IMHO


MentorMom1
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 5:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Sharing is an act of will. So forcing kids to share accomplishes nothing. They have to WANT to share.

The way they learn that is to have things of their own. Ask her if she wants to put her favorite things away before other kids come to play. It's her right. Close the door to her room, or to her closet. Go to bat for her, tell the other kids her th ings are off limits. 

Kids need to have a sense of ownership before they can share. That's just what little ones do. And that's OK. As her mom, you just show respect for her things, as well as for your own things and other's possessions.

You can model sharing behavior, but don't make a big deal about it. She needs to absorb your actions. Have a tea party. Say,  "Some for DD, some for me, and some for Dolly." 

Ler her help you  make cookies and show her how to serve her family members on a tray.  While you're baking, say, "We're going to surprise so-and-so with these cookies when they come home. Won't that be fun?" 

When you go to the library, you can take a toy and let her play with it, and guard her against the other kids. Teach her how to say to other kids,  "I'm playing with this right now."  Be on her side. You will get much further with her when she sees you are not trying to force her into a stage she's not ready for.

With you being a gracious mom, and accepting where she is right now, she will naturally pick up sharing. It's not really something you have to teach. 



brettsmomma
by Tammie on Jul. 10, 2013 at 5:42 PM

You are going to just have to get strict. If my son didnt share he had to give up the toy and we left. flat out. 

Photo: -Randi.

LvngMmyCampbell
by on Jul. 10, 2013 at 5:53 PM

Wow, I was really surprised to see so many differing opinions, well good differing opinions :) I would agree that sometimes sharing is not all it's cracked up to be. As an adult there are things I don't have to share that are just mine and mine alone. However, another poster made a great point that we share many things as adults such as the road, a table at a restaurant or our house, food etc. So, I really like the post from MentorMom1, she sits somewhere in the middle. I have to agree with her. I do teach sharing in the fashion of "if you want so and so to play with you, you may need to share those crayons." However, his brand new toy that is more of a one person toy is okay not to share...right away. Until he is ready or willing to share it. Now if my kids are just being flat out mean and not allowing other kids to play with toys they are not even playing with the toys get taken away and the play time ends. 

shadowkisses
by Member on Jul. 10, 2013 at 6:02 PM
1 mom liked this

What planet do you live on? Adults and children alike must share. You have to learn how to share and get a long with others in the work place, how to coexist with your spouse or significant other, be compassionate towards others, Adults who never learned how to share appropriately is why we have such an indignant, self centered and overly indulgent society now. No you don't have to share EVERYTHING but as adults you must share don't be dense. 

Quoting Lovemyshadows:

Why does she have to share?  We don't share when we grow up.  May I share your shirt?  I think we do our children a disservice when we make them share.  IMHO


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