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sooo frustrated! someone/anyone help please?

Posted by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:56 PM
  • 28 Replies
So im 3 1/2 months pregnant and my boyfriend got custody of his kids because their mom abandoned them so now im their mommy figure. They have beem with us since mid may and im the only one who does everything. He comes home and his face is burried in his cell phone. His son (3) is now potty trained and i got him to give up his pacifier and ive taught him to speak complete sentences and i get no appreciation for it at all. It seems like im the only ome here for them and yet im still being treated like shit. I lost 30 lbs and havent been myself im so stressed. He also throws his ex wife and ex fiance in my face trying to make plans for a playdate with his ex fiance and said he would make sure i wasnt there. Im at loss of words and need advice please help me! He has a 1 1/2 old daughter and a 3 year old son with life threateing medical problems. Advice anyone?
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 6:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:02 PM

You need to have a heart to heart. No yelling no whining  no crying just the facts. You NEED help. They are His kids and he needs to step up !

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by Emerald Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:16 PM

I do agree with the op,
Time to sit down calmly, talk with him & remind him whose kids they are
And that you need/deserve big time help.
Good luck & let us know how it goes :)

DrkPixie86
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:22 PM
Maybe sit down and talk to him, I'm also a step mom I have been in her life since she was 6 months. I have been the only mother she really knows. Talk to your boyfriend tell him how you feel. Your doing a great with your step son though!
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:47 PM
3 moms liked this

I agree with the others.   He should not be using any former partners to make you feel bad nor shirking his responsiblities towards these children.  He has to be an equal parent to them and help you since the pregnancy will only be more stressful.  I would worry that this is not the right guy for you and the children will need a more stable life if you left.  You can not stay though just for the children no matter how hard it is.

Ellie-Mae
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:42 AM
4 moms liked this
Soooo hard when kids are involved. But the fact is, they aren't your kids. They aren't even your step-kids yet. They are half-siblings to the baby you're carrying. But right now your focus should be on you and your baby. Period.

If you're able, it's time to find somewhere else to live right now. He isn't going to magically start appreciating you until he has to take care of it all. If you can't find somewhere else, then you should start letting him take care of things. Go out in the evenings. Visit friends. Make sure he has ample time caring for his children. If he wants play date plans with his exes...let him! Take the time off and do something for you. Take a nap. Get a manicure.

I gotta say, this doesn't sound like the kind of man I'd want to build a life with. If he can't appreciate you when you're caring for his children and carrying another child, he isn't likely to ever appreciate you.
Thunderbug75
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 10:53 AM
1 mom liked this

 I think it is time to talk with him.  Tell him exactly how you feel.   Explain to him about all the stress and the potential health risks to you and your baby.  And depending on the outcome of this talk you may need to do some soul searching.   Now is the time to decide what  YOU want.  It may be time to make some big life changes.  Please take care of yourself and your baby.

amandalynn395
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 12:27 AM
Thank you everyone!! I talked to him and he doesnt get the hint... i try to make everyone one else happy and not even myself! Needless to say he is 23 and im 18 taking on the mommy role! Verrrrrry stressful! Ive been having mental break down days. I feel like this is my only way to talk to anyone. Thank you all for your advice i greatly appreciate the support and time!
missy555553
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 2:29 AM
2 moms liked this
Get out now ! Think about yourself and your baby the stress is not good for either one of you. It's time to make yourself happy! N
Maida265
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 7:50 AM
4 moms liked this

 This may be too blunt and not real appreciated, but he wanted to make these babies...and wanted custody of them...so HE needs to step up and parent them. I realize you are together and some of this parenting will fall on you, but you are NOT married and therefore have no legal obligation. I'm sorry that you are so stressed and this is not good given that you yourself are pregnant. This guy sounds like a player and I would honestly NOT do what you are doing OR put up with the treatment. Anyone who uses an ex against his current s/o is a scum bag.

NDADanceMom
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 12:11 PM
4 moms liked this

I personally would leave him, and the kids.  Sorry but im not the hired help.  id rather be on my own with my baby than be burdened with his crap. 

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