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Advice needed: Baby that could be husbands

Posted by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:08 PM
  • 70 Replies

Please don't judge me. I just need a some advice.

My husband and I separated last year, and while we were apart he had sex with another woman. I've since forgiven him. She has since had a baby that she claims to be his, but will not do a DNA test to prove it. We know that the baby could be his and we would like to know for sure. We offered to pay for the DNA test. He has even told her that he would pay child support, but she still refuses. He would like to be in this child's life, IF its his. I don't have a problem with that. She doesn't want him to be. She said that her boyfriend is going to be the baby's father, and that she does not want to confuse her baby because she already knows him as her father. She also says that she won't seek child support in the future. How can we guarantee that? She just wants to go on as it never happened. She says she's sorry for the problems she's caused, and just wants to forget about it. She says she's happy and we're happy so just forget about it. I just don't know what to do. Should we just go on like this child, that could be my husbands, does not exist? Or should he go to the attorney general and put himself on child support?

by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Blovesyouuu
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:11 PM
4 moms liked this
He should file for a paternity test at friend of the court.
crwspringer
by Platinum Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:13 PM
2 moms liked this
If she really feels that way then I'm sure she wouldn't mind signing a document stating she cannot come after you for "back" support.
If your husband would like you can include a clause saying that if she does the DNA test and the baby is his that he will provide support from that point forward, but NEVER back.
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glynch
by Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:14 PM
I would talk to attorney and see what he could do about getting a DNA test and setting up custody.
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DACIA79
by Silver Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:17 PM
You can get a at home DNA test see what results say and then go from there if he is the dad he has rights.
Jennyanne322
by Bronze Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:21 PM
You could always take her to court and the court will mandate a DNA test. Or you can see about her putting her SO on the babies BC and signing the papers stating he is the father. No DNA test is needed for that.
Jennyanne322
by Bronze Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:23 PM
1 mom liked this
You can only get support from the date the court papers are filed, not from when the child is born.

Quoting crwspringer:

If she really feels that way then I'm sure she wouldn't mind signing a document stating she cannot come after you for "back" support.

If your husband would like you can include a clause saying that if she does the DNA test and the baby is his that he will provide support from that point forward, but NEVER back.
3boysngirl
by Bronze Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:24 PM
I would get that on legal paper of some sort!
Mammacra
by Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:26 PM

DNA test the longer this drags on the larger the back child support bill will be plus that new boyfriend could get sick of playing daddy and then where does it leave the child.  

Imjustinsmommy
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:26 PM

i agree. take legal action  & KNOW demand!!! she can change her  mind anytime & just when you think its ok & move on.. she can  dump her bf or be dumped & run for your dh & your  $ & mess up that poor babies life too.. know NOW. he has his rights. if its not then you can move on & he is clear.. if so.. then its up to him  she cant take away his rights  if he is indeed the father.

Quoting glynch:

I would talk to attorney and see what he could do about getting a DNA test and setting up custody.


SecondChance709
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:29 PM

I would go to court and file for a paternity test. Protect yourselves.

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