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getting along with the other parent.

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:42 AM
  • 13 Replies

I understand how important it is to try and get along with the other parent but sometimes it's just not doable. My oldest sons father will yell and scream in the phone. He got mad at me because I don't agree with him. He says that things should be his way because he is the non custodial parent and that I should just do things his way and let him pick the way things are.

I told him no that things have to be compromised. He is the type of person who only likes you when you are doing it his way when your not then he yells and screams...Opinions on this behavior? 

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsKaufold1990
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:52 AM
Uhm you sit and tell him calmly

"If you are going to yell at me and act like a five year old i will not speak to you, and you only need to call me about out child"

This is why you do not have children with someone you cant get along with.
AAP1988
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:54 AM

That doesn't always work that way...Him and I go along good until we broke up. 


Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

Uhm you sit and tell him calmly

"If you are going to yell at me and act like a five year old i will not speak to you, and you only need to call me about out child"

This is why you do not have children with someone you cant get along with.



MrsKaufold1990
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:57 AM
It does work that way.

Its simple.

If he cant act like an adult you hang up on him.

Do you have custody papers drawn up?

If you wernt staying together for the rest of your lives, shouldnt be having children.


Quoting AAP1988:

That doesn't always work that way...Him and I go along good until we broke up. 



Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

Uhm you sit and tell him calmly



"If you are going to yell at me and act like a five year old i will not speak to you, and you only need to call me about out child"



This is why you do not have children with someone you cant get along with.





Jennyanne322
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:59 AM
This is why if I have something to talk to DS father about, I'll just text him. He tries to put me down every time I talk to him. Thank god I haven't had to really deal with him for a year and half now. He wants nothing to do with DS.
RMBrooks
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:23 AM
I had a former that acted this way with me! Everything was lways his way or no way.
I left, filed for divorce, took the kids with me and told him NOTHING, until the divorce papers were finalized and his rights were completely terminated because he failed to contact and support financially. When he found out, he was livid - so now - he's forced to speak only with my old email account, because he can't contact me any other way (and he also doesn't know) I'm remarried and that my husband adopted my children wo his consent!
You do NOT have to tolerate abusive behavior!!! Record his calls and give them to your lawyer or provide them to law enforcement and have a protective order put in place.
Men like my ex and many others that behave this way, are lashing out like children, because the control they had on you and me, has been lost and they don't like it!!!
Make him talk to a phone machine and record it and then give it to law enforcement. Trust me, do that a couple of times, he'll stop, if he has any brains!!
NDADanceMom
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:42 AM
Don't you remember this one? She's the one that demands, "home by 7 or overnight. You can't drop him off T at 9 or he won't go to bed." She won't budge, insists she is the master of all and he has no say. She is convinced that every though she has is reasonable and will not listen to advice here. I doubt she is willing to work with a man she hates.

Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

It does work that way.



Its simple.



If he cant act like an adult you hang up on him.



Do you have custody papers drawn up?



If you wernt staying together for the rest of your lives, shouldnt be having children.




Quoting AAP1988:

That doesn't always work that way...Him and I go along good until we broke up. 




Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

Uhm you sit and tell him calmly





"If you are going to yell at me and act like a five year old i will not speak to you, and you only need to call me about out child"





This is why you do not have children with someone you cant get along with.






MrsKaufold1990
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:55 AM
Nope i dont.


Quoting NDADanceMom:

Don't you remember this one? She's the one that demands, "home by 7 or overnight. You can't drop him off T at 9 or he won't go to bed." She won't budge, insists she is the master of all and he has no say. She is convinced that every though she has is reasonable and will not listen to advice here. I doubt she is willing to work with a man she hates.



Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

It does work that way.





Its simple.





If he cant act like an adult you hang up on him.





Do you have custody papers drawn up?





If you wernt staying together for the rest of your lives, shouldnt be having children.






Quoting AAP1988:

That doesn't always work that way...Him and I go along good until we broke up. 





Quoting MrsKaufold1990:

Uhm you sit and tell him calmly







"If you are going to yell at me and act like a five year old i will not speak to you, and you only need to call me about out child"







This is why you do not have children with someone you cant get along with.








MrsKaufold1990
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:57 AM
And thats ILLEGAL...

Your ex had to sign consent.

Even if its been over a year of contact...

So that adoption is not valid at all.

Sorry.


Quoting RMBrooks:

I had a former that acted this way with me! Everything was lways his way or no way.

I left, filed for divorce, took the kids with me and told him NOTHING, until the divorce papers were finalized and his rights were completely terminated because he failed to contact and support financially. When he found out, he was livid - so now - he's forced to speak only with my old email account, because he can't contact me any other way (and he also doesn't know) I'm remarried and that my husband adopted my children wo his consent!

You do NOT have to tolerate abusive behavior!!! Record his calls and give them to your lawyer or provide them to law enforcement and have a protective order put in place.

Men like my ex and many others that behave this way, are lashing out like children, because the control they had on you and me, has been lost and they don't like it!!!

Make him talk to a phone machine and record it and then give it to law enforcement. Trust me, do that a couple of times, he'll stop, if he has any brains!!

kntrymama08
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:00 AM
So, dontr tolerate the behavior....My son's dad no longer gets thr pleasure of yelling at me because I don't answer phone calls. He's never seen DS who's almost 3 and certainly does nothing to support him, so there's no reason for me to. He can text if he has something to say and unless it is specifically in regards to me son, I don't respond. He doesn't want me dating, doesn't think my boyfriend should be a part of my son's life, basically thinks he should still have control over me. After over 8 hrs of blowing up my phone last night with threats and verbal abuse, I'm headed to the courthouse today to file a harassment protection order against him.
RMBrooks
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:31 AM
MrsKaufold1990,

There was NOTHING illegal about what was done w my divorce or my children being adopted, legally by my new husband!!
Everything I did went through the family court (and domestic relations) court systems.
In Nevada, a biological parent that fails to financially support their children and fails to visit and communicate with them, loses all parental rights to them after 9 months of no legal contact!!
In our case w the divorce, there was cheating witnessed by one of our children, that accidentally walked in on them and there were other issues with his temper issues, that got him in trouble!!
I didn't do anything illegal!! My ex was contacted by the courts about when to show up!! He didn't show up!! His exact comment to the courts, when
he found out that they issued a
bench warrant for failure to
appear in court, was "I'll see my
girls when they turn 21 and then
I'll give them their child support"!
Yah, didn't sit real well with the family court judges or the domestic relations court judges either.
Everything I did was completely legal and completely legitimate!! My girls being adopted by my new husband was completely legal too!!
Prior to my divorce being finalized and the adoption taking place, there were already extenuating circumstances with my ex's behavior that made me leave for the safety of my daughters.
I had to fight for close to two years to wade through the mud, to get the divorce and custody issues resolved, but I NEVER told my ex where I was! The courts said I didn't have to!!
They set up his phone call times, he didn't call. They set up my exs supervised visitation (in view of a police officer) he didn't show up.
Don't assume I broke the law! Assume automatically, that you clearly don't know all the facts involved in our case, because divorce is very ugly - and in our case - uglier than most!!
For the sake of my children, there are some things I won't discuss on here. It's bad enough my kids will have to read this stuff in court papers, when they have their questions about why I left their biological dad
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