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Ask me anything....public school employee turned homeschooler, divorced, remarried, custodial parent to DS and SD...

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 9:28 PM
  • 13 Replies
I was working for the public school and working on my Masters in education, sending my kids to public school, and decided to start homeschooling this fall...kids are entering 5th and 6th grades.

I was married at 18, had DS at 19, divorced at 20. Met my DH soon after, he has a DD 11 mos younger than my DS. Her biomom is no longer in any contact with any of us, so I am her mom.

We live with my mother in law, we have for almost 7 years. At first it was temporary, but it seems to work for all of us...most of the time ;)

Ask away, I'm bored!
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 9:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ovestressed
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 6:36 PM
I have a problem with my stepdaughter her behavior is overwhelming. She lives with her mom. Anytime I confront her on her behavior I get told that I'm picking on her. My husbands at work most the time when shes over so he doesn't see what she does. I have standards for my kids and I aspect the same from his kids. But both of her parents don't disapline her just empty threats and talked to. I'm at a lost.
TJandKarasMom
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 6:42 PM
Have you tried recording her behavior?

My sd has awful tantrums, she is 10, seriously like full on kicking and screaming. She NEVER gets that bad when DH is home, it's mostly when she misses him and then I'm "mean" to her (read having expectations of her). So one day I recorded her with my cell phone. I used it to show her what it looks like when she loses control, she saw it and we talked about it. She still has her tantrums but they are much more mellow and she remains in control so much better after seeing what that looked like. And I also have it to show my DH if he ever didn't believe me, however he is amazing and is always on my team when it comes to the kids.

If I were you, I would sit down and talk with DH and explain what's going on and that you feel it's not going to get better if you don't have rules and consequences in your home. If he can't back you up, then I would say she can't be there when he is not. Check out some SM groups on cafemom, there are a couple with some good advice.


Quoting ovestressed:

I have a problem with my stepdaughter her behavior is overwhelming. She lives with her mom. Anytime I confront her on her behavior I get told that I'm picking on her. My husbands at work most the time when shes over so he doesn't see what she does. I have standards for my kids and I aspect the same from his kids. But both of her parents don't disapline her just empty threats and talked to. I'm at a lost.

ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 11:58 PM

why did you decide to start home schooling.

TJandKarasMom
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 7:47 AM
I had a lot of reasons that kind of kept building up. I have one child who is advanced but was being held back in some ways and not challenged at all. Then my sd is a tad behind, but she doesn't need an iep or anything, so she doesn't get any extra help and they would just keep pushing her forward.

They were learning some things I didn't agree with, and I felt that would get worse in middle school, and they weren't learning things I think our kids should be learning.

Working in the district, I was watching the Common Core Standards being implemented and I didn't like what I was seeing, teachers were so obsessed with the tests that they weren't really teaching anymore, at least my feeling of teaching. Then we got a notice that they would be giving sd extra time to complete her standardized test, but she was never given any extra time for her regular tests or work, just confirming that its all about this tests not actual learning.

My sd started getting bullied, even by a teacher in 3rd grade, and then her 4th grade teacher didn't know who she was when DH went to pick her up in the middle of the year, which was very scary to us a month after the CT shooting.

My DH works different shifts, so sometimes he doesn't see the kids much, homeschooling could give us flexibility so they could see him more.

And my most selfish reason is for me, I want to be home and I want to be with my kids more. I miss my kids. They spend 8 hours a day at school/on the bus, I realized I was getting them at the worst part of the day, they were tired and hungry and for my sd I had to reteach her her lessons to get her through her homework. I started realizing I could do it better and give them each what they need.

And I figure if we crash and burn and this endeavor is a complete failure, I cannot screw them up that much in one year, we will go back to public school if this is a complete bust. But if I never try it, I will always wonder "what if?"



Quoting ditsyjo:

why did you decide to start home schooling.


ScrChk23
by Amanda on Jul. 15, 2013 at 10:33 AM

 Where are you located?  How is the weather there?

TJandKarasMom
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 10:37 AM
New England, it is hot and muggy!


Quoting ScrChk23:

 Where are you located?  How is the weather there?


Homeschoolmo701
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 11:10 AM

I'm  26 weeks pregnant, I'm horny all the time and my boobs are huge. My BF loves them...he'll tease me just to see my nipples get hard. Then I'll tease him with them just to see him get hard. We are having a great time sexually. I'm a SAHM and live in Texas. My BF was my boss and he's older than I am. Do you think we should be a little more serious or just enjoy my pegnancy?

ScrChk23
by Amanda on Jul. 15, 2013 at 11:44 AM

 I am in Indiana.  It is the same here.  In the 90's today.

Quoting TJandKarasMom:

New England, it is hot and muggy!


Quoting ScrChk23:

 Where are you located?  How is the weather there?


 

ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 11:45 AM
1 mom liked this
Makes perfect sense to me. If I was ever going to homeschool it would be during those middle years ( 4th or 5th through sophomore or junior year) good luck.


Quoting TJandKarasMom:

I had a lot of reasons that kind of kept building up. I have one child who is advanced but was being held back in some ways and not challenged at all. Then my sd is a tad behind, but she doesn't need an iep or anything, so she doesn't get any extra help and they would just keep pushing her forward.



They were learning some things I didn't agree with, and I felt that would get worse in middle school, and they weren't learning things I think our kids should be learning.



Working in the district, I was watching the Common Core Standards being implemented and I didn't like what I was seeing, teachers were so obsessed with the tests that they weren't really teaching anymore, at least my feeling of teaching. Then we got a notice that they would be giving sd extra time to complete her standardized test, but she was never given any extra time for her regular tests or work, just confirming that its all about this tests not actual learning.



My sd started getting bullied, even by a teacher in 3rd grade, and then her 4th grade teacher didn't know who she was when DH went to pick her up in the middle of the year, which was very scary to us a month after the CT shooting.



My DH works different shifts, so sometimes he doesn't see the kids much, homeschooling could give us flexibility so they could see him more.



And my most selfish reason is for me, I want to be home and I want to be with my kids more. I miss my kids. They spend 8 hours a day at school/on the bus, I realized I was getting them at the worst part of the day, they were tired and hungry and for my sd I had to reteach her her lessons to get her through her homework. I started realizing I could do it better and give them each what they need.



And I figure if we crash and burn and this endeavor is a complete failure, I cannot screw them up that much in one year, we will go back to public school if this is a complete bust. But if I never try it, I will always wonder "what if?"






Quoting ditsyjo:

why did you decide to start home schooling.



TJandKarasMom
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 12:14 PM
Umm..I don't see why you have to be serious? Unless you mean in your relationship, I can't have casual relationships, just not ok with me...but my DH and I have lots of fun. I would love to be pregnant right now, and would enjoy it as much as possible.


Quoting Homeschoolmo701:

I'm  26 weeks pregnant, I'm horny all the time and my boobs are huge. My BF loves them...he'll tease me just to see my nipples get hard. Then I'll tease him with them just to see him get hard. We are having a great time sexually. I'm a SAHM and live in Texas. My BF was my boss and he's older than I am. Do you think we should be a little more serious or just enjoy my pegnancy?


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