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I've been married for 5 years. I have an 8 year old stepson and a two year old little boy. Lately, I feel as if I only exist for washing, cooking, cleaning, child care and sex. I don't have a life outside of my marriage, kids and my job. I'm afraid I'm going to have a mental breakdown. I have no form of stress relief. Meanwhile, my husband comes and goes as he pleases. He doesn't understand me when I try to explain how much freedom he has compared to me. It always gets turned back on me as if I don't understand how hard he works. Almost as if I'm being selfish for wanting to be able to go to the grocery store alone. Or just be without someone calling after me or crawling in and out of my lap every 2 minutes. Even as I type this, part of me feels like shit for just wanting to escape sometimes. If only for the sake of my sanity. What do I do? O love my kids and my husband, but I feel, for lack of a better term, used up.
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 1:58 AM
Replies (11-15):
krissy0506
by Silver Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 8:37 AM
This is exactly why being a stay at home mom is not for me...although my husband would be more supportive. But it really does take its toll on you. You need a good balance between family and self.
rosiemarie
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 8:45 AM
Your feelings are my feelings to a T about the hinny not getting it. Only I have a 5&7 year old. I cook, clean take the girls to school and activities only I don't work outside the home so in a way I'm even more isolated. I did join a gym but felt so guilty about the time it was taking up I stopped going for the summer. I'm not allowed to vent or even complain cause I get called spoiled an ungreatfull.
I thought if taking apart time job anywhere but I have no family here and if the girls get sick (which they so often during the school yet) I would have to always call out and how far would that be to an employer??
Stuck or at least that's how I feel also.


Quoting sean_ray0511:

I've been married for 5 years. I have an 8 year old stepson and a two year old little boy. Lately, I feel as if I only exist for washing, cooking, cleaning, child care and sex. I don't have a life outside of my marriage, kids and my job. I'm afraid I'm going to have a mental breakdown. I have no form of stress relief. Meanwhile, my husband comes and goes as he pleases. He doesn't understand me when I try to explain how much freedom he has compared to me. It always gets turned back on me as if I don't understand how hard he works. Almost as if I'm being selfish for wanting to be able to go to the grocery store alone. Or just be without someone calling after me or crawling in and out of my lap every 2 minutes. Even as I type this, part of me feels like shit for just wanting to escape sometimes. If only for the sake of my sanity. What do I do? O love my kids and my husband, but I feel, for lack of a better term, used up.

shimmifairy
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 9:17 AM

We have all been there (hug) My ex couldn't understand either, but he was one of those who "babysat" his own kids...

You're going to have to push the issue with him about having time for yourself...One day a week where you leave the house and do something to enjoy...when he starts with the "I work so hard to take care of you" come back with what you do to take care of them....working outside the home doesn't give him the trump card, you are a person and you deserve time to recharge yourself too...

MrS.GiFFord
by Brittany on Jul. 14, 2013 at 9:21 AM
She's not a sahm. She works too and takes care of the kids. She said so in her reply.

Quoting krissy0506:

This is exactly why being a stay at home mom is not for me...although my husband would be more supportive. But it really does take its toll on you. You need a good balance between family and self.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MrS.GiFFord
by Brittany on Jul. 14, 2013 at 9:22 AM
OP I agree with some of the other posters. As soon as he walks in the door...walk out or tell him you need at least one day and don't feel guilty. I sahm and my dh encourages me to get out by myself. He does not mind staying home with his children.
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