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Step Mom vs. Biological Momster

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 11:24 AM
  • 92 Replies

Good Morning,

Please excuse me if I'm doing any of this wrong, today is my first day on here and I'm just looking to talk. I want to have this figured out before tomorrow afternoon so if and when I need to vent I know how to do it. I am the step mother of two beautiful children whose bio-mom is an unhealthy, incredibly jealous, irrational, mouth frothing lunatic. Due to her extremely long itinerary of plans she had made with the kids on the time they were supposed to be with their father we have not had much one on one with the kids in the last two weeks. At the time we had discussed even allowing their mother to change the schedule we just decided it was easier than arguing with her since she never stops harrassing us. Now as a result we will be having the kids for 14 DAYS STRAIGHT. This would in any normal situation be wonderful however I am guiltily dreading it because we are far from anythig that could be classified a "NORMAL" situation.

When the kids spend even one weekend at their mothers house they come back EVERYtime exhausted, rude, obnoxious little monsters. Usually for at least the first 24 hours reunited with the kids its a pretty rough period of time outs, homework, arguments, the infamous "my Mom let's me do this",  "my mom doesn't make us eat vegetables" and "my mom said (insert personal inappropriate insult here)."  etc. etc. It never ends especially since I can't respond back with the many many insults that fit this woman so well. However; I am sure I will have many opportunities to go into extreme detail about the kids, their father, their mental patient I mean.. mother!, and the large laundry list of discussions I may need to have with someone not personally connected to our situation in any way shape or form.

Good Morning everyone! I hope you are all having a wonderful day and I look forward to conversating with you all. I would like to in advance thank you all for being here so we don't have to feel alone in our insanity we love so much... our children! Please at anytime feel free to write me and ask questions. I look forward to the support!

by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 11:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MaskedMomma
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 12:42 PM

oh we have the exact same here, I'm so sorry, I wish I could help.it's been like this for over 2 years now...we have custody-she gets visitation.

GFitzkowski
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Good for you. At least she has visitation and you two have custody.

This is year three for me. The first year was terror. The hardest year of my life sometimes my bf and I reflect on that year and he often says things like "how are you still here?" My answer usually consists of something along the lines of  "I was the only one willing to reach in and pull your head out of her ass. Someone needed to help you find your backbone and I felt a moral obligation once I got an inside view of what was really going on." The first year there were no court papers and everytime bio mom didn't get her way she'd take the kids away and make dad jump through hoops to get them back. If he showed up to pick the kids up and didn't have $100 to hand her she'd drag the kids inside and shut the door in his face where he'd have to hear the kids screaming and crying on the other side. It was rough... eventually the courts made some decisions (though uneducated ones), she couldn't keep them from him as often, he started paying support through the state instead of directly to her and well I could go on for days. Things are much better now and we're only 10 hours short of 50/50 custody. We've been saving for a really good attorney so he can eventually nail her to the wall and take custody from her. They would honestly be better off with us full time.

SweetPea2004
by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:01 PM

I had a hard time reading this but there are some good venting forums if that is all you want to do.

SaratheV
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this
You picked him knowing he had kids. You should have expected it.
RADmomma
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Good luck.

I would find the step moms group!! They will be the most helpful!
GFitzkowski
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:21 PM

thank you to a few of you for being so kind. I suppose I'll go find the step moms group since some people in this one don't really want to know what's on my mind.

GFitzkowski
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Thanks for being polite about it RADmomma.

momdoes
by Platinum Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:56 PM
3 moms liked this

 

Expected what, that his kids become little monsters when exposed to their mother? Expect that she should be made to feel like shit at the very thought of loving these babies? You know nothing about this SM but come in here to chastise her anyway. Grow up.

Quoting SaratheV:

You picked him knowing he had kids. You should have expected it.


 

momdoes
by Platinum Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:59 PM

Anywho momma, I am also a SM and know exactly how you feel! I wish I caould say it will get better and maybe for you it will, but for me, it has not, only worse, but I can say not by my hand, his bio mom is fully responsible for how he tuyrned out. I was banned a long time ago, by myself! LOL

GFitzkowski
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 2:10 PM

Thank you! I didn't want to rip into someone like that on my first day I'll give myself the reputation of being confrontational based on a first impression. I'm not really here to vent like I started saying the kids are just coming over for 14 days straight and what's on my mind is me losing my mind lol. I'm really hoping I'll be wrong this time and they'll come over and just be good but after three years of doing just this I'd be setting myself up for failure if I didn't plant my feet firm in preparation for the worst.

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