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Mother in law troubles

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:07 PM
  • 37 Replies
My mother in law is very involved in my 5 year old son's life. She recently took him to the park to meet up with a couple of kids and their mom. She has never met this person and we have never met this person or her kids. She was on a walk one day and saw them playing through their fence and stopped to talk to them, then decided to knock on the door to ask the mom if they could all meet at the park. A little weird, but whatever. Anyhow, I ended up picking up my mother in law and son after the park and saw this other woman and her two children were there. I simply asked her if she could let me know in the future who she is meeting when my son is with her, and she flipped out. Should I feel bad for wanting to know the details of my sons whereabouts and who is with him at all times?
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
RADmomma
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:08 PM
Personally I would want to meet them. But I haven't talked to my mil in 7 years so I'm not much help.
goldilocksbecky
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:17 PM
5 moms liked this

Did she leave your son with this woman you barely knew?  If so, then that's a problem.

If not, how is it really any different than someone who just happened to be at the park at the same time you were there and your kids started playing with them and your MIL struck up a conversation with the Mom?  Hasn't that ever happened to you before?  Your kids are playing at the park and make a new friend or you start talking to the Mom.  Your MIL was right there.  What evil is going to befall him from playing with a kid at the park and then everyone going home?  My kid is friendly and finds a "buddy" almost everywhere he goes.

debbiekbenson
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:35 PM
Well if I at least knew who was going with her, and they didn't come home, I could have that informatiom. Quite different than striking up a conversation with someone at the park. They came and left TOGETHER! I do not trust anyone I do not know. Too many creeps out there!
goldilocksbecky
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:48 PM
2 moms liked this

They rode together in the same car?  Or they met there?  I'm confused?

I'm still not getting exactly what it is you have to "trust" this woman to do.  Be at the park at the same time as your son.  Because it's a public park.  People are going to be there.

I'm just not getting how a Mom that lives in your neighborhood that you MIL has struck up friendly conversation with "being there" at the same time they are is any more dangerous than the dozens of other random strangers that happen to "be there" at the same time would be.  Again, she's didn't leave your son in her care.  She's right there with him.  So basically all this lady is doing is being at a public park at the same time your kid is.  Just like a dozen other strangers.  It's OK for your son to be at the park and play alongside other people who are 100% strangers, but not OK for him to be in the park and play alongside a neighbor that your MIL has gotten to know a little bit?  I'm just not getting how the fact that she's talked to this woman a few times suddenly makes her a serial killer.

 

 

 

debbiekbenson
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 1:58 PM
They walked there together and I picked them up because it was getting dark. MIL called and asked that I pick them up. Bottom line.....if they were abducted and the police asked who they were with, I would have the information that could mean the difference between life and death. Call me dramatic, but I don't take chances like that.
goldilocksbecky
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 2:05 PM
1 mom liked this

How exactly is that taking a chance?  The likely hood that this woman is a weirdo is way, way less than the likelyhood that one of the dozens of total strangers in the park is a weirdo.  Do you insist on knowing all of their names as well?

Your kid is going to share the sidewalk and the park (and the mall and the grocery store and the schoolyard) with a lot of people.  You can't run a background check on all of them.  The fact that your MIL has talked to her a few times doesn't make her MORE of a threat than anyone else and shouldn't make you single her out for scrutiny.  If she was OK to share the sidewalk and the park with them a few weeks ago as a total stranger, then she's OK to share the sidewalk and the park with them as a "hey, neighbor" who's not quite such a total stranger anymore.  Your MIL is still there watching your son.  It would be different if she were leaving your son in the care of this person or even going into their home, but that's not what's happening.  They're basically just crossing paths with each other in a public place.

 

debbiekbenson
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 2:19 PM
She had never net this woman until the day she went to the park. The issue is not her playing with new kids or meeting a new woman, the issue is that she failed to tell us. Imaging it getting late and your MIL and kid never show. It gets later and later and you are incredibly worried. Don't you think if that info had been passed along to you, you would have more of an advantage than someone who was uninformed? The mother may be able to tell me, "yes.....they were on their way home," or "they decided to get ice cream". Or worst case scenario, "yes officer, they were with this woman and her two kids." Whatever the case may be, a little extra info can go a long way. So, a chance meeting at a public park is far from this situation. As his mother i deserve to know the facts. You may be willing to take those chances with your kids, but not me. Even if she does not agree with my request, it would be at least be nice to have my wishes respected as a parent.
TheMrs407
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 2:23 PM
I wouldn't let my child be in the care of anyone whose judgment I didn't trust. Since they are I a public place, I don't see a huge issue. Its no different than seeing anyone else at tge park. If she were going to their house, I would have issues with it.
franmarden
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 5:37 PM

You are absolutely right!  If something were to happen, you would KNOW that she was with somebody else (who  might be a witness).  You would know to tell the police that she was with this person as opposed to being there alone (which would not be true).  The woman probably didn't know you name or contact information either.  My kids are grown up now, but I was always the same way.

Marimaru
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 5:45 PM

It doesn't sound like a huge deal to me.  They didn't go to someone's house or anything like that.

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