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I just want to scream!!!!

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:30 AM
  • 9 Replies

 Little back story before we begin this suck fest... Our family (hubby, 4 kids,and I) rent a house owned by my mother and father in law.. I was 8 months prego with baby #3 when our house was foreclosed and we had to move asap, so they offered us this house, which is right next door to them.. I DID NOT WANT TO MOVE HERE, but due to finances hubby said this was the only place big enough that we could afford..

   Now on to the suck fest.. 3 years and another baby later we still live in this house. My in laws KNOW I hate having people in my house, family or not, anytime, even when I am here, and definitely when I am not home. It has nothing to due with the fact that I don't like them, or that I am hiding anything, it is the fact that all my life I have NEVER had my own space, nothing that has belonged TO ME has ever been respected, and twice in my life EVERYTHING I own has been stolen, so even if I know you are not a thief, I still do not like people in my house when I am not here. 

   Well, on Thursday we left to go on a camping trip in Oregon (we live in California) and came back yesterday to find that someone had been in our house. I posted on facebook that I was irritated about it and it all just blew up from there. I thought at the moment that it was my brother in law, who is a very nosey individual, but it ended up being my mother in law. She saw the post on facebook and told my father in law. So now I am the bad guy in all this because "its his house and he should be able to come in it any time he wants"..

  My husband went over there twice and his father wouldn't talk to him, and he had no clue why until my mother in law said something about the post on facebook, then said that our house was filthy and she doesn't know how we could raise our kids like this, and that she wanted to puke.. REALLY?? I have 4 kids, an almost 2 year old, 3 year old, 4 year old and 7 year old.. My house is NEVER spotless, no matter how much I clean.. All that she saw when she came in was 3 clothes baskets full of clean clothes in the living room, some papers and a cup on the counter, and a few plastic containers in my sink that I didn't have time to wash before I left.. 

   SO now they have me over here feeling like I did something wrong, when really THEY did something wrong by coming in here with out my permission, or my husbands, they may own the house but we rent it and out of respect they should not come in here.. Plus, I am sure ALL of you clean your houses when you know you will be having company over.. I know I make that extra effort to make it look a little nicer when people come over.. You cant be mad at me for the way my house looks when I didnt invite you in but you came in anyway.. 

   Am I wrong for being irritated? Are they right?? All I posted on facebook is "Had a great time in Oregon only to come home and be irritated once again.. Some people just don't know when to stay out of  peoples business" it said nothing about people coming in my house or anything about anyone, but they took it as me posting about them (guilty conscience?).. and the way I know someone came in is there was a glass dish laying on our couch.. My sister in law and her family lived in this house before we did. They left a bunch of random stuff out side of the house and in the garage.. There was a glass dish laying on the side of our house, by the water hose.. It has been there for who knows how long.. didnt know who's it was so I just left it there.. I am sure my mother in law has seen it a billion times, but she waits till we are out of town to suddenly "need" to bring it in our house.. Doesnt that just sound like she did it as an excuse to be nosey?? I just want to move far far away....simple frown

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by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:30 AM
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Replies (1-9):
GaBrIeLlEsMaMa
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:47 AM

BUMP!

franmarden
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:49 AM

You have every right and reason to expect privacy and should receive it.  As your landlords, they are supposed to give you notice if they have to be in your home for some reason.  As your in-laws, they should respect you and your privacy.  You have every right to be irritated (heck, I would have been down right mad!).  Anyone who has EVER raised kids knows that you cannot keep your home spotless.  I always told my family and anybody else that wanted to visit, "If you don't like the fact that my home is lived in, then don't visit."  There is a big difference between being filthy and just kid "dirt".  Some people are just like that I guess, but it doesn't make it right.  

By the way, what has your DH said about this?

got2monsters
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:49 AM
Sorry mama. That sucks. I'd wanna leave too.
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frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:53 AM

Time to move asap or type up a formal legal renters agreement so that they have to follow those laws despite any blood relation to those inside the building.   my dad did the same thing with me when i lived at his house. I had the whole attic to call my own . I would come back from trips with things moved around in the attic or a dish left there.  It was not a battle I felt i had to fight since it was his house.  He mainly went up to watch tv since he did not get cable and i did  LOL.

GaBrIeLlEsMaMa
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:54 AM

 He is irritated with them for being mad, but he is also irritated with me for posting that on facebook.. He (sorry to say) has no balls when it comes to his parents and would never stand up to them.. He is mostly irritated with his mom though, who seems to think I sit on my ass all day and throw things around the house while her grand kids re perfect angels.. lol.. He tried telling her that any mess in this house is made by them and only them, but no, anyone with her dna is perfect.. 

Quoting franmarden:

You have every right and reason to expect privacy and should receive it.  As your landlords, they are supposed to give you notice if they have to be in your home for some reason.  As your in-laws, they should respect you and your privacy.  You have every right to be irritated (heck, I would have been down right mad!).  Anyone who has EVER raised kids knows that you cannot keep your home spotless.  I always told my family and anybody else that wanted to visit, "If you don't like the fact that my home is lived in, then don't visit."  There is a big difference between being filthy and just kid "dirt".  Some people are just like that I guess, but it doesn't make it right.  

By the way, what has your DH said about this?


Auctions for free stuff at Listia.com

GaBrIeLlEsMaMa
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:56 AM

I want to move soooo bad, but there isnt many choices in this area, unless we move to a bigger city in this county, but I dont want my daughter to have to switch schools.. Ughh.. 

Quoting frndlyfn:

Time to move asap or type up a formal legal renters agreement so that they have to follow those laws despite any blood relation to those inside the building.   my dad did the same thing with me when i lived at his house. I had the whole attic to call my own . I would come back from trips with things moved around in the attic or a dish left there.  It was not a battle I felt i had to fight since it was his house.  He mainly went up to watch tv since he did not get cable and i did  LOL.


Auctions for free stuff at Listia.com

opal10161973
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 1:56 AM
1 mom liked this

They are likely violating landlord- tenant laws by coming into your rental without notice.  I would make sure you note that if they bring it up again.  They do NOT have ANY right to go into a home if they do not have an emergent reason to go in there- especially if you are paying them rent.  In most states, it is like this.  Look it up.  She can get into some deep doo doo, if she doesn't let it go.  Hopefully, she knows that she needs to butt out and also that your DH is supporting you in this.

Even without being your landlord, she should know better.  How extremely rude!  Not only to DO it, but then to comment on it.  Just goes to show you that even when people have money, they often lack morals and good judgement. 

GaBrIeLlEsMaMa
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:07 AM

BUMP!

franmarden
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:08 AM

You shouldn't have to tiptoe around their feelings when they apparently don't care about yours.  I know exactly what you mean about DH not standing up to his parents.  Unfortunately, some men are like that.  However, he needs to stand up FOR you and your right to privacy.

Quoting GaBrIeLlEsMaMa:

 He is irritated with them for being mad, but he is also irritated with me for posting that on facebook.. He (sorry to say) has no balls when it comes to his parents and would never stand up to them.. He is mostly irritated with his mom though, who seems to think I sit on my ass all day and throw things around the house while her grand kids re perfect angels.. lol.. He tried telling her that any mess in this house is made by them and only them, but no, anyone with her dna is perfect.. 

Quoting franmarden:

You have every right and reason to expect privacy and should receive it.  As your landlords, they are supposed to give you notice if they have to be in your home for some reason.  As your in-laws, they should respect you and your privacy.  You have every right to be irritated (heck, I would have been down right mad!).  Anyone who has EVER raised kids knows that you cannot keep your home spotless.  I always told my family and anybody else that wanted to visit, "If you don't like the fact that my home is lived in, then don't visit."  There is a big difference between being filthy and just kid "dirt".  Some people are just like that I guess, but it doesn't make it right.  

By the way, what has your DH said about this?



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