my step daughter is being neglected by her mom
i have an 11 year old SD who is being neglected by her mother. she is here for the summer with us. her mother absconded with her to move south with a boyfriend, telling us that she had a job waiting for her down there -- one of many many lies she told. we put an immediate stop to that with a court order. then she changed her tactic and has my SD call her father and was crying and carrying on and begging him to let her move (she could have won an Oscar for her performance) -- again, the mother set her up to do this. her mother promised her that if she moved with her instead of staying with her father that they would go to the beach every day and go to the amusement park all the day. in the year and almost half that they have been down there, they went to the beach once and one park. so being the wimp that my DH is, he gave in to her but only if his ex would agree to certain terms (terms which I drew up) -- as a result we have a new court order which is much better than their original divorce decree. so now it has been since February 2012 that they moved down south and not once has her mother taken her to a dentist or doctor. so she is with us now for the summer, and yesterday we took her to the dentist -- imagine our shock when we found out that she has 3 cavities and one tooth that has to be pulled. the dentist (someone we have been going to for over 10 years) was very upset and stern about his findings -- my DH explained the mother situation to him and he luckily understood. so now, this poor child has to go through dental work because her mother neglected her. we are now thinking of hiring a different attorney to get sole custody (they have shared now) and have SD live with us. we will take care of her and tend to her needs. her mother acts like her best friend (the only friend she has). pretty sad situation. also, they move around alot and the mother tells her daughter not to tell her father. the mother maintains a PO box so that we won't find out that she has been kicked out of an apartment again. her mother treats her like an adult and as a result this child is more grown up than she should be for a child of her age.
so my question is this: has anyone experienced these situations and how did you handle them? would you seek a change in the custody situation, too? thanks!!!