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I wish I had never gotten pregnant

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 3:04 AM
  • 19 Replies

In January I met him by feb we were pregnant. I try so hard to make things work but he is so immature and selfish. In April we moved in together and started rented a house. Splitting the bills was the plan but getting any money from him for the bills was like pulling teeth. He would go out to the bar with other girls from work and not come home until the bar closed and blow all of his tips on booze or go lose it all at the casino. Then when rent was past due he would start to give me some to pay the for it. I was under so much stress. I have a great credit score of 724. I've alway paid my bills and been responsible and felt like I was falling deeper into this black hole with each passing day. My job let me go because of the pregnancy and my savings was just dwindling so I moved in with my mom. 

I feel numb and depressed with this situation I've gotten myself into and I don't know how to get my old self back.. DD and I are still together and he has been staying at my moms with me but I feel like its only a matter of time until I throw in the towel and give up because I feel like he is immature, not that into me and just using me. I honestly don't know why I'm still with him. Maybe it's because I'm pregnant and scared that I'm not going to be able to do this on my own? Or that I'm hoping he will grow up after the baby is born but I know that is unrealistic. I don't know anymore. 

He consistently accuses me of cheating on him even though I never go anywhere and he is the one going out all the time getting drunk and leaving me at home. 

We have a trip planned to go out of town for a few days with my mom and her bf and dd just told me he pretty much had planned on leaving me with my mom and her bf while he goes and hangs out with his buddies that live there because I'm pregnant. I don't why it hurts me so much. I should have expected this. After all he is just repeating his current behavior.  I'm such an idiot, what the hell am I doing!!? I wish this all made sense in my heart like it does in my mind and instead of setting here crying I could just tell him to F-off and go play with someone else's emotions.

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 3:04 AM
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by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 3:08 AM
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It sounds like you are clinging to him because you are scared to do it alone, but from what it sounds like he isn't contributing anything good to the relationship anyway.

I'd make him leave, all he is doing is adding stress.

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:46 AM
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I bet u would be better on ur own, besides ur at ur mums im sure she would help.
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by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:57 AM
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Drop the loser. The stress isn't good for you, and it doesn't sound like your life will be heading anywhere if you stay with him. Get help from your parents if you can, work hard, get another job or so technical training for a better job then move on. Forget him. Men like that aren't worth it. You can't change someone and he's obviously immature and insecure and not ready to man up. Dump him.

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:11 AM
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forget him...move on...find God,call out to him...He will help you...take care of yourself and the baby,you need no stressors right now...its all about you and baby...if the father had truly cared you wouldn't be going through any of his crap...he need to grow up...I was also had the same problem,not as stressful...but God helped me and my son is 18 and such a wonderful young man...I was even thanked by a former girlfriend of his for raising such a person as he is ...even her mom thought he was special...and he is ...put God first and He'll do the rest ...TRIED AND TESTED...AND IT WORKED...I hoped I helped ...LET NO MAN STEAL YOUR JOY OF BECOMING A MOM...LOVE YOURSELF AND BABY
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:14 AM
Drop his ass.
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:24 AM

are you really more afraid of being a single mother? do you not trust yourself or something is being miserable and lonely in debt jobless more important to you!

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 12:05 PM
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Sounds to me like you were doing great before he came along.  I would let him go and make a life for you and your baby without him.  You did it before, you can do it again. 

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 12:28 PM

If you don't want another child there is always adoption. I would drop the SOB.  ASAP.

by Ruby Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 1:32 PM

If all he is doing is adding stress to you and not contributing at all then have him leave. It does not sound like he is interested in having a relationship with you and you would be better while pregnant and when you have your baby without him. 

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 2:31 PM
Sounds like he has some major growing up to do. I would separate for now and tell him that if he wants you and the baby in his life he needs to show a drastic improvement because at this rate all he is going to do is pull you down.
Like another lady said you have your mom so it sounds like you have a support group. Praying for your situation.
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