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My (hopefully) irrational fear about my daughter going to kindergarten (and beyond)

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:05 PM
  • 14 Replies

So my daughter is starting kindergarten it is all day everyday which I don't agree with for kindergarten but that is a completely different thing.  I have an issue with that she won't see her dad except for on the weekends really (he works second shift and will be leaving for work as I am going to pick her up) but that still isn't the main issue.  

My main issue is that she is VERY affectionate and friendly, so much so that it can be frustrating when trying to get things done (I know that it shouldn't be and I do love getting hugs and kisses from her throughout the day).  I love that about her, she loves everyone, she doesn't care about boy/girl, young/old, male/female, any of that.  I am worried that she will lose this in school.  Don't get me wrong, I know she will probably "outgrow" at least some of this on her own  but I feel like schools focus so much on no one touching anyone these days that it really is to the point of hurting instead of helping.  I understand that they have to cover their butts but at the same time is a hug here and there going to hurt anyone?  When I was little teacher's hugged students all of the time, and now I have been told by several different teachers (at stages throughout their careers) that they are told not to hug students or anything like that anymore.  I have also been to a couple of kindergarten classes and when students hugged they were told to keep their hands to themselves.  That honestly is just wrong to me, of course if one kid was hugging another who didn't want to be hugged that would be a different story but these kids were hugging each other, not one chasing the other down or anything like that.  

Anyway I guess I am just venting and I hope my daughter can hold onto her kind, compassionate, affectionate personality for as long as possible and realize that (appropriate of course) touching is not a bad thing and that everyone just needs a hug sometimes.  Do you feel like kids are dissuaded from these things now or is it just me?   If you made it this far thanks for reading, I didn't intend for it to get this long.  

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
xtwistedxlovex
by Gold Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:15 PM

DS hasn't lost it. If anything, he's gotten more affectionate. Our main problem is that he doesn't understand not everyone is as nice as he is. He has gotten off of the bus crying because two supposed "friends" of his (both his age) tore apart a project he had made in class - and yet he continued thinking they were his best friends.

ZoeCY
by Platinum Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:24 PM

Thanks for sharing!  I'm glad to hear that!!  (well the first part)  My daughter is the same, our neighbor girl (who is at least 8 or 9) comes over and acts like she wants to play with my daughter, really it seems to be that she wants to sit on our couch, eat our food, and play on the kindle or leappad while my daughter tries to get her to play.  I can tell how much it hurts my daughter but she continues to ask if she can come over and play.  She finally did breakdown and say to me yesterday that it really hurts her feelings when that happens which of course just broke my heart more!  She also waves at EVERYONE and her feelings get a little hurt if they don't wave back to her (she is my child, I was definitely over sensitive- I would come home crying from school because someone else got in trouble!)


Quoting xtwistedxlovex:

DS hasn't lost it. If anything, he's gotten more affectionate. Our main problem is that he doesn't understand not everyone is as nice as he is. He has gotten off of the bus crying because two supposed "friends" of his (both his age) tore apart a project he had made in class - and yet he continued thinking they were his best friends.



alli1204
by Silver Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:26 PM
1 mom liked this
Ok!! Relax. I'm a kindergarten teacher and let me tell you.....kindergarten teachers LOVE hugs. I hug on my students all the time. It comes with the job. Don't automatically think teachers won't hug their students if they want/need a hug. Our job is to make our students safe, happy and secure. I hug my students and as long as its not inappropriate I allow my students to give each other a hug if needed.
coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:33 PM
I don't know why you think being in school will alter her personality. While hugging in K is OK (at least here), at some point your DD does need to learn to respect people's personal space. Not all kids (or teachers) will want to be hugged. DD had a girl with Down's in her class in 1st grade, she always hugged DD. DD didn't like it but she sucked it up and Kate learned to not hug everyone all the time.

I think she'll be fine.
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ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 12:35 AM
1 mom liked this

my little guy going into 1st grade is also super affectionate... they haven't changed that about him though he did get in trouble once for kissing a girl on the play ground... hugging is one thing.... kissing apparently is another

bebe_ju-rah
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 12:40 AM
1 mom liked this
My daughter hasn't lost her affectionist ways :) Moshe used to give her teacher hugs all the time too!
KendallsMommee
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 2:22 AM
Kendall was in K last year. I had all kinds of irrational fears that became unfounded. Don't worry, Momma. Everything will be fine!
needadvice1983
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 4:53 PM
2 moms liked this
My kids teachers hug them. My DS's aid from the last two years (he has special needs) saw my DD and I yesterday an I was dropping her off for kinder and gave her a hug and kissed the top of her head. All the teachers at our school are very loving towards the kids (in an appropriate way). They have no problems giving hugs and the principal and vice principal do it too. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Most kindergarten teachers are cool with giving hugs. They know that for many kids this is the first time away from their parents so they are compassionate towards the kids.
NDADanceMom
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 6:02 PM
She can learn to be affectionate in different ways with different people. I'm not trying to "cover my butt" when i don't want hugs, kisses, and fingers all over my face. Germs run rampant in school. Teachers are always bringing home the latest bug to their families. I know you adore the kisses but i can't push the dirty sick kid away and show affection to the kids that wash hands better. I treat them all as if they have the flu unless they are hurt or otherwise crying.
Its ok to teach your child that not everyone wants physical affection. Not every parent wants their child touched to bring home germs either.
Kids can learn to be affectionate to family and respect boundaries of others. I always assume people would rather not be touched. I don't hug and kiss everyone i meet!
AngelSinger
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 7:10 PM

Have you considered homeschooling? It may be the answer here.

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