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Friends that abuse the fact that you are a stay at home mom

Posted by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 7:03 AM
  • 14 Replies

I recently became fortunate enough to be a stay-at-home mom to my 2 kids. My husband is on the road 5-6 days a week. I left a good paying job so my children did not have to go to 3 or 4 sitters a day. (I had family that would "transfer" them due to their own work schedule). To make a long story short, I have 2 friends that think that since I'm not working I can be there for whatever they need. One always calls me to watch their kid, and the other thinks that I can do running around for her (shes getting married). The problem is....its to the point of taking advantage of me. I finally put my foot down with the one getting married bc she cost me alot of time and money with no reservation. The other one thinks that I am a free daycare. I dont mind helping out but Im on a income now that is not so forgiving. Its not that I want paid to watch her kid, but the few times I have asked her to help me out, she will only agree if I help her out with a day of babysitting. I just need some advice on handling this. I dont want to be ignorant but I think I might have to so I'm not taken advantage of. She recently called me to watch her kid for 4 days and I told her I couldnt. How can I take care of this so they both get it-any suggestions?

by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 7:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BraydensMama163
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 7:05 AM
Be blunt.
destiny3513
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 7:09 AM
Keep saying you're busy. No means no. They'll get the hint after a few times.
ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 10:57 AM

be honest... tell them kindly that you realize they are busy and need help sometimes but that you fill like they are taking advantage of your kindness.

RheaF
by Sweet Insanity on Jul. 20, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Be honest with them, if they are true friends they will respect you for that.
LancesMom
by Ruby Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 11:53 AM

Do they realize how often they ask for your help? Make a note of it and then be honest with them! Good luck!


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bananasaurusrex
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 11:56 AM

Just tell them. You didn't become a stay at home mom so that you could still be busy doing stuff for other people and while you don't mind helping them out every once in a while, they need to find someone else if it's going to be consistent.

LuvingMy3Girls
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 11:59 AM
Just tell them. I don't care if I'm
Home doing nothing I hate watching kids in my home and I won't do it. I'm not into babysitting
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by Ruby Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 1:24 PM

Welcome to CafeMom,

How wonderful you're able to be at home with your kids.
As for your friends .. time to be honest & let them know how you feel.
Good luck ;)

2Sparrows4ever
by on Jul. 20, 2013 at 1:24 PM
Just say NO
Bieg9093
by Member on Jul. 20, 2013 at 2:26 PM

 Go meet some new people.  If you fill your calendar with playdates and lunches with your new and normal friends, you won't have any time to be at the beck-and-call of your old, needy friends.

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