Advertisement
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

looking to adopt!!¡

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:35 PM
  • 21 Replies
I am 26 yrs old married to love of life. Have three beautiful children... my husband and I got sterilized almost five years ago. Web are regretting it very badly. We can not afford to go thru a agency... what am I to do ... ?
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:35 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:41 PM

Why did you get sterilized so young??  You have to go through an agency or you can try dhs for their fostering/adopting program.

culver_mama3
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:14 PM
I am looking at doing a independent adoption. Why? Probably because we were young and thought we were done. We have been together coming up on 15 years . We love babies and children. We have so much to offer a new baby and we will get there someday I know it keeping my head held high and hopes....
amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:15 PM
2 moms liked this

Maybe try a foster program where you might eventually be able to adopt.

mcginnisc
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:19 PM

A private adoption is typically just as much as going through an agency as you have to have an attorney. The only way to adopt for a minimal fee or free is through the foster system. Some states require that you be licensed foster parents for a period of time before allowing you to adopt a child who already has TPR signed and is free for adoption. 

I'm an adoptive mom, but we adopted Internationally. 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

Uniquecoolio
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:22 PM
3 moms liked this
I did foster/adopt in fl 16 years ago. Best thing I ever did. Now I'm teaching twin 16 year old boys to drive. YIKES! ;)
NDADanceMom
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:39 PM
I'm shocked a doctor would sterilize you so young!
Isn't raising a child more expensive than adopting? Wouldn't a private adoption seek a family with money? If i were giving up my child it would be to a couple that was stable, kind, and could provide financially.
I think going through the state with parents that have given up all rights is your only option.
mcginnisc
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:16 PM
2 moms liked this



Quoting NDADanceMom:

I'm shocked a doctor would sterilize you so young!
Isn't raising a child more expensive than adopting? Wouldn't a private adoption seek a family with money? If i were giving up my child it would be to a couple that was stable, kind, and could provide financially.
I think going through the state with parents that have given up all rights is your only option.


There is a difference between being able to raise a child and shelling out $40K to adopt through an agency/attorney. 

It honestly baffles my mind that people do not understand this concept. 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

NDADanceMom
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:30 PM
Why would it be so shocking that i ASKED if adoption is less expensive? Either way don't you have to pay legal fees to adopt?
Its not like its an area everyone is an expert in. Nobody close to me ever adopted and i don't ask aquaintances how much they paid for their kids!
I still contend that most people looking to adopt are looking for someone that could easily afford even $40,000. That doesn't even pay for a year of college now days.


Quoting mcginnisc:




Quoting NDADanceMom:

I'm shocked a doctor would sterilize you so young!

Isn't raising a child more expensive than adopting? Wouldn't a private adoption seek a family with money? If i were giving up my child it would be to a couple that was stable, kind, and could provide financially.

I think going through the state with parents that have given up all rights is your only option.



There is a difference between being able to raise a child and shelling out $40K to adopt through an agency/attorney. 

It honestly baffles my mind that people do not understand this concept. 

mcginnisc
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:39 PM



Quoting NDADanceMom:

Why would it be so shocking that i ASKED if adoption is less expensive? Either way don't you have to pay legal fees to adopt?
Its not like its an area everyone is an expert in. Nobody close to me ever adopted and i don't ask aquaintances how much they paid for their kids!
I still contend that most people looking to adopt are looking for someone that could easily afford even $40,000. That doesn't even pay for a year of college now days.


Quoting mcginnisc:




Quoting NDADanceMom:

I'm shocked a doctor would sterilize you so young!

Isn't raising a child more expensive than adopting? Wouldn't a private adoption seek a family with money? If i were giving up my child it would be to a couple that was stable, kind, and could provide financially.

I think going through the state with parents that have given up all rights is your only option.



There is a difference between being able to raise a child and shelling out $40K to adopt through an agency/attorney. 

It honestly baffles my mind that people do not understand this concept. 

The overall raising of a child takes place over a span of 18-20 years..not in one payment. Yes, you have to pay legal fees depending on the process. Domestic adoption/private adoption is going to be done through an attorney or agency. Sometimes...though rarely, you can find an adoption attorney who only charges a couple of thousand dollars. Foster care is free or minimal charges. You are correct in the fact that when many women relinquish they are looking for people with financial stability, but just because someone cannot afford a large sum of money at one time does not mean they cannot afford to raise a child. 

Paid for their kids...nice choice of words...sigh...

Honestly, it is comments such as those above that make adoptive parents cringe and become irritated. 


Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

NDADanceMom
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:48 PM
I worded it in a provocative manner to show its not a proper question to be asking. The little i know about the kids that were adopted was volunteered by the parents and its mainly about the process of going to china. They did not talk about fees. I am not aware of any kids that were adopted in the US other than a teacher i work with adopted a couple special needs kids she was fostering. I think she gets money from the state because they are special needs. I doubt she paid $80,000 as a single teacher to adopt her kids.

Quoting mcginnisc:




Quoting NDADanceMom:

Why would it be so shocking that i ASKED if adoption is less expensive? Either way don't you have to pay legal fees to adopt?

Its not like its an area everyone is an expert in. Nobody close to me ever adopted and i don't ask aquaintances how much they paid for their kids!

I still contend that most people looking to adopt are looking for someone that could easily afford even $40,000. That doesn't even pay for a year of college now days.




Quoting mcginnisc:





Quoting NDADanceMom:

I'm shocked a doctor would sterilize you so young!


Isn't raising a child more expensive than adopting? Wouldn't a private adoption seek a family with money? If i were giving up my child it would be to a couple that was stable, kind, and could provide financially.


I think going through the state with parents that have given up all rights is your only option.




There is a difference between being able to raise a child and shelling out $40K to adopt through an agency/attorney. 

It honestly baffles my mind that people do not understand this concept. 

The overall raising of a child takes place over a span of 18-20 years..not in one payment. Yes, you have to pay legal fees depending on the process. Domestic adoption/private adoption is going to be done through an attorney or agency. Sometimes...though rarely, you can find an adoption attorney who only charges a couple of thousand dollars. Foster care is free or minimal charges. You are correct in the fact that when many women relinquish they are looking for people with financial stability, but just because someone cannot afford a large sum of money at one time does not mean they cannot afford to raise a child. 

Paid for their kids...nice choice of words...sigh...

Honestly, it is comments such as those above that make adoptive parents cringe and become irritated. 



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)