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Am I too sweet? Please read, I need help!

Posted by on May. 7, 2007 at 10:09 AM
  • 4 Replies

Well, my grandfather is not doing too well. He has cancer and has been on chemo treatment, the only problem is the fact that he had injured his leg before they found the cancer and it has finally healed, but he can barely walk. My grandfather has always been a very independent man. He has his own workshop, loves to work outside in the garden, cleans their pool, etc. And now he is starting to get frustrated cause he can't do the things that he loves so much. I hate hearing about it. I hurts so bad!

I am taking my kids to Florida to see my grandparents, their great-grandparents, for the weekend. We would usually stay at their house, but they are having stuff remodled and ramps put in since my grandfather is now using a wheel chair most of the time, so we will be staying in a hotel room. I hate that we are going down with these circumstances, but it has been really hard to try and find the time and money to take our youngest down to see them, they haven't seen our daughter yet.

And to top everything off, as most of ya'll know I am a Senior Beauty Consultant, right? Anyways... I have been trying to be nice to a few people and let them make payments, and three of them haven't and I can't get in touch with the two of them. The one is not returning my messages that I keep leaving her, and she was supposed to have paid me in full on the 30th of last month, she keeps making up excuses and she owes me $159.86, the other girl was supposed to pay me two weeks ago now when she got back in town and I can't get in touch with her and she owes me $104.97, this other girl who I thought was my friend asked if my husband and I could loan her $50 and she would run in and buy some groceries real quick, we're on food stamps at the moment cause my husband had lost his job recently, so we let her borrow the card, anyways... we told her sure and we sat in our car and watched her kids and what was only supposed to be a run in and run out turned into 45 minutes later! She ended up spending $150.00 and we needed that to feed our children! She paid back $95.00 of it, still owes me $55.00 for groceries, $120.00 for product that she bought, plus she owes $83.00 for her cell phone bill! I don't know how to go about getting the money from these people! I need this money cause I have to go out of town and I am leaving after my brother gets off of work Thursday night, cause he is going to drive most of the way since my husband couldn't get off of work, I have to pay for the gas down there and back, food while we are there, need diapers and wipes before I leave, a swim suit for my daughter, plus I still have to pay for the hotel rooms! What do I do?! I don't know how to go about doing this without making everyone angry or seeming like I am just plain mean? Am I too sweet? I need some help!

Any suggestions?

by on May. 7, 2007 at 10:09 AM
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by on May. 7, 2007 at 10:16 AM
There is a way to be sweet and to make a point at the same time. You need to explain to these women that you depend on the money because it is your job and that you would really appreciate if they pay you the money owed. Tell them that you are in a bind because that money was to pay for a trip to see your sick Grandfather. People these days seem to take advantage of people and the only thing you can so is put your foot down. You are too good of a person to be walked all over.
Good luck.
by on May. 7, 2007 at 10:20 AM
I agree!  You need to let these women know that this is your job.  I am an independent consultant for Passion Parties.  If someone askes me to hold their check or to delay payment, I tell them that I cannot order their product until I receive payment or am able to cash their check.

I consider myself a very nice person, but I have to always remember that sometimes my niceness (is that a word:-)) can be at the expense of my family and my family is much more important to me:-)  Selling is good, but it doesn't do much good when the money can't be collected!

Good Luck!! 

by on May. 7, 2007 at 10:26 AM
All you can do is explain to these women that, while you are their friend, you can not go in the hole to work and that extending them credit costs you.  And let them know that while you value their friendships you must put the welfare of your children above all others.  After all, you are their Mom.  Good luck on the trip and I hope your grandfather gets better soon.
by on May. 7, 2007 at 10:28 AM
Yes, you are too nice.  Stop it.  I used to do the same thing. A lot  of people never paid me back either and I had three small kids.  My sister still owes me $320.  This is something a friend finally told me.  Do not loan out what you can't afford to loose.  If you expect not to be paid back you are more likely to tell someone, sorry right now I can't afford it.  In the future tell people sorry I can no longer do business on credit because we have been burned too often.  People really understand this concept and those who don't are the kind that want something for nothing.  Someone taking advantage of you that way is basically saying screw your own kids, I want my stuff first.  That is basically what they are doing, stealing from the mouths of your own kids.  It's nice to try and be helpful but really isn't it more important for your own kids to eat. NEVER, NEVER give your card to someone else, they just look at it as free money, they figure what can you do about it after they have already bought it.  Start thinking of your own kids first, it seems no one else is.
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