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child support question?

Posted by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 10:20 AM
  • 9 Replies
Dh recently reconnected with his 12 year old daughter.it's been 7 weeks since the first visite. There have been 6 other visits since then. On the last visitation drop off dh's ex was telling dh about school getting ready to start and how expensive it's going to be with 4 kids. Specially dh's daughter since she's in middle school.

Well I went online and looked up the school supply list for her school and grade. I picked a couple of the more expensive items to buy from the list. The binder, back pack and calculator. I have also been buying his daughter school clothes.

Well when we dropped her off at her mom'sshe told dh they aren't allowed to have binders. I know for a fact they can because I printed out the supply list from the school. She also said they don't use calculators.

The binder was $13 and the calculator was $20 (was a speciality one that they said she'd need). Dh thinks since it still had the tag on it that she is going to try and return it and get the money for it. Same thing with the clothes. I know I shouldn't have sent the clothes with her but we aren't doing overnights. I could have not bought her clothes but she needed them and dh was tired of her mom making snide comments about that kind of thing. Even though dh feels that's what he pays child support for. He thinks she should use her child support to buy school clothes, shoes, supplies, ect. What do you all think?
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by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 10:20 AM
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Replies (1-9):
DirtyPrincess
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 10:49 AM
1 mom liked this

I think that if you are going to buy her things then start taking the tags off of it. Make sure you give it to her while she is at your house that way she knows that you bought it for her and that will make it harder for BM to be able to take it away from her. I feel like child support is meant to take care of the child but sometimes it's not enough especially when it comes to a new school year or Christmas time. He can help get that stuff too and he should help get that stuff. 

SaratheV
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 10:51 AM
I don't think you should provide any more than court ordered child support. Things like that are what child support is for.
dingysfamily
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:11 AM

 Things like that are what child support are for, but it's also to help pay for things such as a part of the childs every day living expenses ... utilities, food, etc.  Having been on both ends of this situation - receiving cs for my son & having dh pay for his kids from his ex - I can see both sides of this situation.  I have never had any problem either with purchasing extra items out of my pocket for either my son, or dh's kids .... it's just called being a parent and loving your kids and doing what is best for them.  I just cannot understand why both sets of parents cannot get along and do what is best for the kids,  period!

YllaSurtson
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:14 AM

I think she didn't want the items beause she was just trying to get more money out of your husband.  Let her be on her own for school supplies from now on.

sahmw2010
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:16 AM

 take the tags off so she can not return them, and yes, child support is to help support the child, which includes back to school stuff. I wish there were a way that parents have to prove that what they are spending the child support money on, is in fact for the child

 

Arwyn724
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Many people will not agree with this, but child support isn't only for the extras a child needs.  It is meant to provide support for the child's living environment.  If the bio mother needs the child support to maintain the rent/mortgage &/or utilities, that is where the money goes.  It is not intended to be used just to buy things the child wants or needs. Back-to-school and other such item expenses should be shared by both parents.

Arwyn 724 

aj23
by Gold Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 12:49 PM

It does sound like she just wanted the money and you should defiantly start removing tags and giving things directly to the daughter when you buy things for her.
Child support is supposed to cover day to day normal living expenses. School supplies and back to school shopping is expensive so I think the ncp should help with those expenses if they need to. Clothes that can be worn every day should be covered by the child support though. 

In the month of July I have to pay for school supplies and fees as well as soccer supplies and fees that add up to way more than I get for a month of child support and I would have some not so nice things to say to my sons dad if he ever told me that he shouldn't help out with them because that's what child support is for.  

Chirinos
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 12:57 PM
I feel they should help pay for school supplies. My child support is cut in half in Aug which makes getting school supplies even harder. I have already been bugging my boys dad about helping with school supplies this year.
Mrsjohnson2014
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 1:05 PM

My fiancee pays over 600 a month in child support for two kids and they are in elementary school still and has another baby on the way so yes I believe that child support is for that.

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