One very unhappy momma right here! Update with the "talk" we had!
One of the rules in this house now that my son is 18, is that unless prior approval and we have knowledge of, there is to be no one in this house when we (dh and I) go to bed. I have made it clear to son that if he wants to go somewhere after we are in bed, that's fine, just lock up when he leaves. Well, last night, I kept hearing our dogs walking around the house. I could hear their nails on the hard floor and it is quite loud. It was about 1 AM when I hear this noise, so I come downstairs and I find my son and three women sitting in the living room. My son says, whats up homey? WTF? I told him, one, I am not your homey. Then I looked at those girls and said sorry girls but you must go now. Then I told the dogs to go nite-nite and I put them back in their kennels. When I came back into livingroom (kennels are in another room) They were all gone. Half hour later, my son comes back in. He sits down and I thought he was gonna apoligize, but he didnt. So I say to him after some silence, you know I am pissed right? He says yes. I said, you know you have broken my trust in you right? he says yes, then gets up and goes to his room. Nothing said the rest of the night and this morning, he has not said a word to me.
I dont know what to say to him. He broke a major rule in this house and i have no idea what to do about it. Ground him? Make him leave? Let it go? I havent even told my dh yet what happened as he was alseep when this all went down, so thinking I may wait until I speak with him when he gets home from work.
What would you momma's do?
So I did wait until dh got home from work and spoke with him first, got all my anger out BEFORE I talked to son. Son and I went all day without speaking, partly my fault cuase I knew it would not be pretty if I did it before dh got home to clam me down! LOL We started with the talk with, "this is how it goes here!" lol.......I asked son why he had these women in my home after I went to bed. And just as I suspected, the answer was just because. There was no danger with them, just wanting to hang out. I asked exactly who they were, since I had never seen them before. He said they were women he worked with. Got that out of the way quick. Then I addressed the "homey" comment. I told him how lucking he was that I didnt whip his ass right there and if they had still sitting there when I got back from pinning the dogs back up, all hell would have broke loose, so it was good he got them out of there like he did. I asked son to clarify to me what the rule is once dh and I go to bed. Son recited it so he knows how and why I have the rule, but I explained it yet again tohim. The reason for the rule is because I do not trust just anyone in our home. I must at least get an introduction and convo first, male or female! I told son that I thought we had a good thing going, with him being able to be the adult he wants to be with coming and going like he needs and wants. I told him, I try to respect you, you must respect us. Goes both ways. I tlold him there are rules every where he may go, to live or not, and that he has to follow them, be it their my rules or someon else's. He knows the deal is if he dont like it he may go at any time. He actually got a little upset at the thought of knowing he must leave if he cant obey rules here but I told him, Hey, if we are to live together as adults now, not just mother and son, he must follow them. He kinda balked but I insisted that I could go back to treating him as if he was 15 instead of 18. I said I could ground him. I could take his key to MY home. I could change the locks and demand a certain time to be in this house. I told him I didnt want that for him, so we will try one more time to be adults here in this house. He did apologize to me for the homey comment. When he started to giggle at it, I couldnt help but giggle too. He said he honestly didnt remember saying that to me, it must have been a reflex type of thing. Whatever kid. LOL
Thanks so much for you ladies commenting and backing me up on this. For those who dont quite understand because yours are still little, please save this post to your computer so you can refer back to it when yours are this age! LOL