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Am i the "mean" parent?

Posted by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:01 AM
  • 37 Replies
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Hello everyone! Im a 24 year old stepmom with a serious problem: my husband has a 5 year old son who misbehaves a lot. He is quite happy as long as you don't try to discipline him. His mom is the type of mom that doesn't discipline and lets him do what he wants. She has confirmed it herself "i baby him " well now my husband and i are left with the task of disciplining him because his behavior is not acceptable and it seems that he complains to her that he doesn't like to come over because his dad is "mean". Recently he has been crying when he spends the week with us (we get him every other week) That he misses his mom and wants to go home :/ what do we do? I mean we cannot turn the other way when he misbehaves especially now that he is about to go to kindergarden, we constantly tell him we love him and i try my best to explain to him his situation : " you have two houses because you have a mommy and a daddy..." But to no avail as he has been bursting into tears when she calls to say goodnight to him. What can we do? Will it help that he will soon start school? (We're hoping) we cant really talk to her about it because we cannot control how she chooses to discipline him when he is with her ... We have a mommas boy how do we deal? Thank you for your advice!
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
petitekatie
by New Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:07 AM
Bump!
DallasCowboys81
by Platinum Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:18 AM
2 moms liked this
First of all calls to mommy need to stop. Its.showing him he is in charge. 2nd you and dh are in the.right she is the mean one for not disciplining him. You guys need to set ground.rules with her so your not always the bad guy. Otherwise he will be a heck of a teen n you dont want that at all. Good luck.
Reina13
by Gold Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 12:43 PM
3 moms liked this

Honestly, I think Mom and Dad need to have a sit down and discuss his discipline. While they may not agree, she should at least try to respect the decision that you both are trying to discipline him. You are right, he cannot continue to act out, especially at school.


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by Ruby Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:10 PM

I agree with this,
Also less calls to Mom as well.
He knows he is in charge right now :(

Quoting Reina13:

Honestly, I think Mom and Dad need to have a sit down and discuss his discipline. While they may not agree, she should at least try to respect the decision that you both are trying to discipline him. You are right, he cannot continue to act out, especially at school.


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ScrChk23
by Amanda on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:42 PM

Sounds very similar to me....  I think his mom should stop calling at night.  I also think his mom and dad need to talk.  They need to be on the same page when it comes to discipline.

sunpeaches1
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:43 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm w reina also. Dad needs to have it out w mom. You all need to be on the same page in raising him...


Quoting Reina13:

Honestly, I think Mom and Dad need to have a sit down and discuss his discipline. While they may not agree, she should at least try to respect the decision that you both are trying to discipline him. You are right, he cannot continue to act out, especially at school.


Join us in Stepmom Central


AutymsMommy
by Ruby Member on Aug. 18, 2013 at 1:48 PM
1 mom liked this
If my five year old were told he couldn't call me at night, heads would roll and they would see me in court to change the custody agreement.
Op, how long have that been divorced?


Quoting DallasCowboys81:

First of all calls to mommy need to stop. Its.showing him he is in charge. 2nd you and dh are in the.right she is the mean one for not disciplining him. You guys need to set ground.rules with her so your not always the bad guy. Otherwise he will be a heck of a teen n you dont want that at all. Good luck.

Lolahelps
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 2:34 PM
They were never together! But yes she calls to say goodnight to him bc the custody agreement said that both parents are allowed to do that. The thing is he never has been crying for her in the past. Its been two weeks now that he started to ask to go home more and more and when she calls him he bursts out crying! Then he goes back to normal ...


Quoting AutymsMommy:

If my five year old were told he couldn't call me at night, heads would roll and they would see me in court to change the custody agreement.

Op, how long have that been divorced?




Quoting DallasCowboys81:

First of all calls to mommy need to stop. Its.showing him he is in charge. 2nd you and dh are in the.right she is the mean one for not disciplining him. You guys need to set ground.rules with her so your not always the bad guy. Otherwise he will be a heck of a teen n you dont want that at all. Good luck.


jconney80
by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:29 AM
I would try to get on the same page as her. It's never easy to coparent
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Kellileanne
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:40 AM
1 mom liked this

This will all come up in kindegarten when the teachers don't baby him and he constantly gets reports and calls home due to his behavior.  She will realize here babying him has now caused a much larger issue.

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