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My 15 yr old son lives with his father 2 hrs away and his girlfriend is pregnant

Posted by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:47 PM
  • 30 Replies
I am a divorced mother of 4 children. My 15yr old sons lives with their father in another state. He is with me every other weekend. Our other children are 5 yr old twins and a 20yr old. My ex husband doesn't allow our sons girlfriend to come over or stay at his house. My son told me that he is at his girlfriends house all the time and stays over there. I disagree with this. When my sons comes to visit for the weekend I don't allow his girlfiend to come too, I like spending time with him considering its not much time. My son text me the other day and told me I'm going to be a grandmother. I was very shocked and dissapointed but I will always be there for him. I have since heard that his father has told him that he can't have a baby at his house and that he will problably have to move in with her. I have spoke to him about this and he denies it. My son has told me he's there all the time. I think its very wrong for his father to shut the door on him. I am so sad, concerned ect. I know my son is going to ask for his girlfriend to come and stay on this next visit I don't agree with it, I can hear him saying what differnece does it make shes already pregnant, and then when the baby comes he's going to want them all to come, yes I want to see my grand child but I also have young twins, how should I handle all of this???
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
RADmomma
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:53 PM
How old is the girl friend ?
NHTMB
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:54 PM

She is 16 years old.

lucky2Beeme
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:59 PM
6 moms liked this

I would let her come. I would also make sure they know ahead of time that they will NOT be playing house under my roof. She will be sleeping in a different room than him. I would also ask for her parents contact info. I would call and set up a time to meet with them and the girl before your sons next visit. Get a sitter and go meet them.Discuss whats going to happen . talk to your son about finding a job and being responsible for that child he helped create.

I wouldn't worry one damn bit about what his dad does. There is nothing you can do about it. it really isn't your concern. That problem is between dad and soon.

NHTMB
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:07 PM
I understand, I feel so sorry for my son that his father doesn't seem like he is going to be there for him, it just bothers me.
RADmomma
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:10 PM
How do her parents feel about the situation?

IMO. They are going to have to grow up real fast. If his father is just going to shut them out... I personally would step up and help them, teach them to be good patents. Yeah they should have waited or used protection but that's done... So now all that can be done is to help them help themselves.

Sit them down & see what their plan is?
Is she going to stay in school? Can she get a job while pregnant to help buy baby supplies? Can he get a job at 15? Where do they plan to live? What do her parents feel should happen?



Quoting NHTMB:

She is 16 years old.

brismom2013
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:28 PM

I agree with lucky2beeme, let her come but let them know no playing house.  Be there for them both as best you can but make sure they understand that it's not your child.  They have to know they are primarily responsible for their child.  It's going to be a hard task but one that can be done.  I'm big on prayer and though I don't know you I will be praying for you.  Sitting down with her parent/s is a great idea as well.  So, that way you won't feel like it is completely all on you.

NDADanceMom
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:31 PM
2 moms liked this

 Its his house.  He can run it like he wants.  you are only in charge of your own.  I would not let my teen live with me if they wanted to raise a baby.  I would support them through a pregnancy and help them find an adoptive parent, or help them get on welfare and get some housing if they wanted to keep the baby.  I house, feed, clothe and educate kids.  Kids do not raise other kids, if you are raising a baby you have decided to be an adult.  Of course my child has the right to make their own choices but they have to pay for those choices.  My kids are raised knowing how I feel. 

Tatum2U
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:36 PM

this is very new news I wouldn't let her come the next visit . I would want that time to privately talk with my son alone and find out what he plans to do , how he will support the child , what he thinks the future holds for him and the girlfriend , where they will live , what does the GF want ? 


I would also want to have a sit down discussion with my ex before I made any decisions myself. 


I would of course love my son regardless.

Tatum2U
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:40 PM
Quoting NHTMB:

I understand, I feel so sorry for my son that his father doesn't seem like he is going to be there for him, it just bothers me.
Why has he been living with Dad?
hugss
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by Emerald Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 1:42 PM

This pretty much covers it well,
Hugs to you :)

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

I would let her come. I would also make sure they know ahead of time that they will NOT be playing house under my roof. She will be sleeping in a different room than him. I would also ask for her parents contact info. I would call and set up a time to meet with them and the girl before your sons next visit. Get a sitter and go meet them.Discuss whats going to happen . talk to your son about finding a job and being responsible for that child he helped create.

I wouldn't worry one damn bit about what his dad does. There is nothing you can do about it. it really isn't your concern. That problem is between dad and soon.


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