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My 15 yr old son lives with his father 2 hrs away and his girlfriend is pregnant

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I am a divorced mother of 4 children. My 15yr old sons lives with their father in another state. He is with me every other weekend. Our other children are 5 yr old twins and a 20yr old. My ex husband doesn't allow our sons girlfriend to come over or stay at his house. My son told me that he is at his girlfriends house all the time and stays over there. I disagree with this. When my sons comes to visit for the weekend I don't allow his girlfiend to come too, I like spending time with him considering its not much time. My son text me the other day and told me I'm going to be a grandmother. I was very shocked and dissapointed but I will always be there for him. I have since heard that his father has told him that he can't have a baby at his house and that he will problably have to move in with her. I have spoke to him about this and he denies it. My son has told me he's there all the time. I think its very wrong for his father to shut the door on him. I am so sad, concerned ect. I know my son is going to ask for his girlfriend to come and stay on this next visit I don't agree with it, I can hear him saying what differnece does it make shes already pregnant, and then when the baby comes he's going to want them all to come, yes I want to see my grand child but I also have young twins, how should I handle all of this???
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 12:47 PM
Replies (21-30):
cecilyloring
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 6:35 PM

for better or for worse, I think it's honestly mostly on the girl's parents. They will probably call all the shots.

ShadowLark
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 6:50 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting kaylasmom22:

Ok I'm confused is the girlfriend pregnant? Because someone mentioned having the girlfriend sleeping in seperate bedrooms,which makes no sense if she is pregnant already


It makes perfect sense, actually.  Unless mama wants a second baby 13 months after the first.  These two are kids, they messed up once, they don't need to do it again.  Maybe they're in love and they'll live happily ever after.  But they still need to get through school before adding more kids to the mix!

kaylasmom22
by Silver Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 6:56 PM


Quoting ShadowLark:



Quoting kaylasmom22:

Ok I'm confused is the girlfriend pregnant? Because someone mentioned having the girlfriend sleeping in seperate bedrooms,which makes no sense if she is pregnant already


It makes perfect sense, actually.  Unless mama wants a second baby 13 months after the first.  These two are kids, they messed up once, they don't need to do it again.  Maybe they're in love and they'll live happily ever after.  But they still need to get through school before adding more kids to the mix!

Well unless a miracle happens I doubt she will get pregnant again if she already is. And op said that her son doesn't live with her, if she is planning on having her son and this girl moving in together there is nothing she can do about them sleeping together. Trust me separate beds will not be an issue for them to get it on. Like I said im confused as to what the op is saying, I don't know if the son is moving in with her or not. I right now she needs to be supportive of her son (if she wants to) and meet this girl.

Jantera
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:38 PM
I feel so sorry for you..but stand your ground and be firm..
momdoes
by Platinum Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 7:46 PM

God moma, you are living one of my biggest fears when my son was younger. (he is 18 now)

I guess I am old fashioned. Thereis no way in hell that girl would spend the night in my home unless her and son were married. I dont care about her being pregnant or not! If my son didnt like that, well, its on him. I would want to meet with her and her parents ASAP, make sure my son was supporting her at dr appts and the birth, then at birth make sure its my sons, then son would get a job while still i school and support his child! In return, I expect taht girl to finish school as well and to let my son be a father.

susannah2000
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:08 PM

Your 15 year old son is going to be a father and you are only worried about where you are going to see the baby?

gabriela1228
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:51 PM
Like all The ladies said I think you should have a talk with Your son, let him know You are here for him no matter what happens but make it clear for him that now he has to be a grown man. He has to be able to support and raise The baby with his girlfriend. It must real hard to have Your son become a man over night. Be there for them but don't let them think you'll be The one raising their baby. Hope everything works out for You n Your son.
gabriela1228
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:51 PM
Like all The ladies said I think you should have a talk with Your son, let him know You are here for him no matter what happens but make it clear for him that now he has to be a grown man. He has to be able to support and raise The baby with his girlfriend. It must real hard to have Your son become a man over night. Be there for them but don't let them think you'll be The one raising their baby. Hope everything works out for You n Your son.
fionnula
by New Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 10:38 AM

I am surprised that only one other poster mentioned ADOPTION!  Our Birthmom was 15 and birthdad was 16.  Our son is now 16 months old and we have a wonderful open adoption!  Fortunately for us she was mature enough to realize that she could not be a proper mother, as she is still a kid!!!  It was a very hard decision for her, but she stuck with it, because she and her mother both knew what was in the best interest in the child.

that is what you all need to sit down and discuss!  What is best for the baby?  Sure the teens think it will be cute and fun, so you need to tell them to wake up!  Find some stats on teen moms...most don't finish high school, even though that is their plan.  Reality steps in and all the plans change.  Good luck finding a job at 15 too.  Ask them how much they think diapers cost, then tell them how much they really cost, and have them figure out how many hours at minimum wage, minus taxes, they need to work to pay for one box of diapers that will last a couple of weeks.

i hope they decide to do what is best for the baby.  And maybe that is being raised by grandma.  

I wish you luck 

lovemykids87035
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:18 AM
If possible you should sit down with your son his father the girl friend and her parents and calmly discusse what should be done the girlfriend should be Abel to decide for her self if she wants to keep the baby or give it up for adoption (i do no support abortion) but before she makes her decision I would make sure she knew what all her options are and what the consequences for each decision is. Your son also needs to know that if she chooses to keep the baby he has a responsibility to help raise it also if she divides to give it up then dose he want to take on the responsibility raising it on his win and you parents need to decide how much you are willing and able help them because face it as young as they are they will need your help and support. Exspecialy if they plan on keeping the baby. As for letting the girl friend come over I say no they have already slept together so if you have her staying over night in your house they will probely sneek into bed together setting a bad example for your younger children. Having her visit. With out staying the night at your houe would be fine. Unless they end up married then I'det her stay the night
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