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Ok I'm new here & I really need advice...first off my husband-we've been together nearly two years which we of course have our ups & downs like all couples! But since I was pregnant & hormonal he drifted cause I guess in unattractuve when I'm pregnant,I will be honest all I wanted was sex with him no matter how It was I have a High sex drive anyway so all I gained was 18 pounds my whole 9 months baby was nearly 9 pounds and I'm actually less then pre-pregnancy weight now two weeks later! So I have been trying to get him to notice me like he use to he enjoys adult videos I'm insecure I admit that it bothers me but I surprised him with a video a few nights ago-he didn't seem into it or even like he enjoyed it-I thought that would woo him 4 sure! But nope so he works till 930 at night I've been making him his fave dinners getting food from his fave places but nothing but "awesome babe" comes from his mouth-he never tells me I look pretty or nice or beautiful anymore,to test this I out in my old jeans (they fit good now) and a cute top for our daughtes drs appt this week & he walks right pass me @ says nothing. I love him so much & I want this to work out but he won't tell me what's the problem or why he's acting like this,he says its nothing & that I'm over reacting :( I don't know maybe I am but is it so much to ask for a romantic night where my husband notices me & shows me he loves me?? I mean for two weeks I've spent all night up with the baby so he can sleep I never ask for help & here's the whoa moment I had a c-section & haven't taken anything but Tylenol yup that's right and didn't even spend 24 hours in bed afterward! So my question is what more can I do!? He swears he's not cheating and that there's no one else! So what can u do!? I have tried all I know-some if the details I can't say but I've tried everything! If u know what I mean-I am at loss here!! :(
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 5:22 PM
Replies (21-30):
Irish_mama_2011
by Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 12:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Trust me, I just went through this, most of it is the hormones making you more insecure than you normally are. Just relax and take it easy, use this time to bind with your baby.

tattedmommi
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 12:22 PM
He can't have sex with you so he's trying to put all thoughts out of his head???
CutieCrab
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 12:23 PM
2 moms liked this

 Maybe he is just oblivious.

starlite204
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 12:38 PM

well ive went through the same thing! your feeling insecure about yourself right now! guys dont understand this,, focus on yourself you dont have to prove anything to him you two are togather because there is something there between you two  , id focus on making yourself happy get your hair done, ware nice clothes, that make you feel good and will make your baby happy too!!!  and when he sees that your happy he will start taking notice of all the things youve done. well i hope this helps you can give it a try

KenneMaw
by Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 12:50 PM
1 mom liked this

I am totally shocked that your dr gave you the OK to have sex after only 2 weeks, that is crazy.  a C-section is MAJOR surgery.  However, for some men, pregnancy and fatherhood do change them.   This is all foreign to them. They didn't have a baby growing inside them for 40 weeks so they often don't have that connection to a new baby.  Also, they have seen your body do some crazy things.    I think you need to just give him time and talk tohim - no accussations, just talk to him and try to connect.  Good luck and lots of hugs.

IrieLife
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 12:58 PM
My friends fiance cheated right after she had her baby. He lied for months about it, swearing he didnt cheat. Im not saying thats the reason your husband is acting this way, but be weary.
Rhodin
by Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:07 PM
When do you find the time with a 2 week old to do anything but sleep?
ZadensMom6278
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:08 PM
1 mom liked this

I think your doing such a great job, I think feeling sexy and getting your sexy back after having a baby is so important in a relationship and I know many  men which there wives or girlfriends were more like that and not saying no to sex so I think you have done everything right, but you may need to give him his time to adjust alittle bit, you may feel like he isnt into you right now but I am pretty sure its those evil hormones that have you thinking that, I had a c section with my baby and thought I was just gonna jump back into normal, and its like no those crazy hormones wont leave you for awhile, bringing a baby into your home is such a huge change and it takes while to adjust, he may have alot on his mind being a new dad, and that may alter his sex drive abit, and since your smaller than your pre pregnancy weight, it has nothing to do with your looks. I would just give him some time and it will get better:) Hope this helps

KaydenzMomRockz
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:16 PM
Thank you so much!!! :) that helped a lot! It's not as crazy with a two week old as everyone is making out to be honestly I'm not getting much sleep but I've just fallen perfectly into the mommy role idk it's strange so juggling everything in my house hold right now just seem to be the norm & I'm happy with it. I just fear that maybe he's lost interest cause of the things he's seen in 9 months! I'm still me tho just a better version cause I'm a mommy now & I love who I am as a mommy! :) but I also love feeling like his wife too he just doesn't get that! My mother in law even called him out on it today so now I know I'm not just imagining that he's being this way!


Quoting ZadensMom6278:

I think your doing such a great job, I think feeling sexy and getting your sexy back after having a baby is so important in a relationship and I know many  men which there wives or girlfriends were more like that and not saying no to sex so I think you have done everything right, but you may need to give him his time to adjust alittle bit, you may feel like he isnt into you right now but I am pretty sure its those evil hormones that have you thinking that, I had a c section with my baby and thought I was just gonna jump back into normal, and its like no those crazy hormones wont leave you for awhile, bringing a baby into your home is such a huge change and it takes while to adjust, he may have alot on his mind being a new dad, and that may alter his sex drive abit, and since your smaller than your pre pregnancy weight, it has nothing to do with your looks. I would just give him some time and it will get better:) Hope this helps


KaydenzMomRockz
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:20 PM
I have never needed much sleep ever but it's not that hard it's easy right now she wakes up I change her feed her sing to her and even at her alert hours she's a great baby she never ever cries she whines but doesn't cry! I'm blessed! :) I wish my husband was as easy to take care of LOL!! J/k


Quoting Rhodin:

When do you find the time with a 2 week old to do anything but sleep?

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