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Ok I'm new here & I really need advice...first off my husband-we've been together nearly two years which we of course have our ups & downs like all couples! But since I was pregnant & hormonal he drifted cause I guess in unattractuve when I'm pregnant,I will be honest all I wanted was sex with him no matter how It was I have a High sex drive anyway so all I gained was 18 pounds my whole 9 months baby was nearly 9 pounds and I'm actually less then pre-pregnancy weight now two weeks later! So I have been trying to get him to notice me like he use to he enjoys adult videos I'm insecure I admit that it bothers me but I surprised him with a video a few nights ago-he didn't seem into it or even like he enjoyed it-I thought that would woo him 4 sure! But nope so he works till 930 at night I've been making him his fave dinners getting food from his fave places but nothing but "awesome babe" comes from his mouth-he never tells me I look pretty or nice or beautiful anymore,to test this I out in my old jeans (they fit good now) and a cute top for our daughtes drs appt this week & he walks right pass me @ says nothing. I love him so much & I want this to work out but he won't tell me what's the problem or why he's acting like this,he says its nothing & that I'm over reacting :( I don't know maybe I am but is it so much to ask for a romantic night where my husband notices me & shows me he loves me?? I mean for two weeks I've spent all night up with the baby so he can sleep I never ask for help & here's the whoa moment I had a c-section & haven't taken anything but Tylenol yup that's right and didn't even spend 24 hours in bed afterward! So my question is what more can I do!? He swears he's not cheating and that there's no one else! So what can u do!? I have tried all I know-some if the details I can't say but I've tried everything! If u know what I mean-I am at loss here!! :(
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 5:22 PM
Replies (31-40):
Leelee1008
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:35 PM

well since you just had a baby 2 weeks ago, Sex is the last thing you need to be thinking about right now.... 

Not to sound rude or anything, but do you think its you not feeling attractive since you had the baby and putting to much into it? This happens alot, women worry since they had a child, that their not as sexy as they used to be, or desireable and their minds start to wander...

Chances are Hubby is freaked out, you JUST had a child, life as you know it is totally turned around. He probably needs time to adjust and get used to it. Woman know they are a parent when they are pregnant, it smacks dad in the face a little later then that.... Give him some time. If he still doesnt come around say after a month.... then say something to him. good luck

ExquisiteMomof2
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:37 PM
Did I read that right? Your first and only baby and you had your tubes tied?
KaydenzMomRockz
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:44 PM
2 moms liked this
I have good reason to get my tubes tied! That's not really the importance of the post tho It was my decision I can't bare any more miscarriages plus this pregnancy was not a bed of roses! We thank God for the precious baby girl He has blessed us with. That's enough for us to love & spoil! :)


Quoting ExquisiteMomof2:

Did I read that right? Your first and only baby and you had your tubes tied?

ZadensMom6278
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Thats good that someone else called him out on it, it always makes us feel better when we have someone on the outside looking in so the men cant just call us crazy or make us think were going nuts when there the ones acting wierd, maybe he will relize that he has been acting strange and its not just you and he will change knowing that everyone can see he is acting distant, im glad that you know its not you!

insearchofhope
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:56 PM
He might have expected you needing him a lil more. Sometimes guys need to be the fix. Something about our being weak and in need turn them on try asking him for a lil bit of help. I hope all works out. After our second child my husband didn't want me for almost a year then after he gave in to my begging it was still me always asking and makeing the first move. I to have a higher sex drive than my H.
I hope it all works out for you.
MamaStro89
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 2:02 PM
What of he is putting that distance because he doesnt want to have sex because you did juat have a baby and he prolly doesnt want to risk getting you prego again and to keep himself under control he doesnt touch you as much or say things because he wants to avoid all that, especially since he knows how we women are sometimes, he compliments and you get warm and fuzzy inside and he goes with it and you get horny and wanna have sex and then he end up rejecting sex for a good reason. But we dont see that, we see "omg hes not attracted to me" because of the temptation to sleep with you? He is a guy and has no clue how to express the reasons hes doing what hes doing. But I wouldnt assume cheating untill you get proof of some kind.
lifeglow
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 2:12 PM
Mabe he has low testostrone. Try telling him how u feel
KaydenzMomRockz
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:10 PM
I can't get prego again I got my tubes tied burned &. Clipped no risk there! Lol
It's not just about sex it's about spending time together being close like we once were its been for a while not recent i thought it was due to my pregnant belly but it obviously wasn't!


Quoting MamaStro89:

What of he is putting that distance because he doesnt want to have sex because you did juat have a baby and he prolly doesnt want to risk getting you prego again and to keep himself under control he doesnt touch you as much or say things because he wants to avoid all that, especially since he knows how we women are sometimes, he compliments and you get warm and fuzzy inside and he goes with it and you get horny and wanna have sex and then he end up rejecting sex for a good reason. But we dont see that, we see "omg hes not attracted to me" because of the temptation to sleep with you? He is a guy and has no clue how to express the reasons hes doing what hes doing. But I wouldnt assume cheating untill you get proof of some kind.


MamaStro89
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 4:24 PM
Tell him again and when he say you're overreacting tell him that he cant use that excuse everytime and how hes making you feel is a big deal and he needs to care about that. It doesnt matter if u are or are not overreacting the fact still remains that his change in character is affecting you.

Quoting KaydenzMomRockz:

I can't get prego again I got my tubes tied burned &. Clipped no risk there! Lol

It's not just about sex it's about spending time together being close like we once were its been for a while not recent i thought it was due to my pregnant belly but it obviously wasn't!




Quoting MamaStro89:

What of he is putting that distance because he doesnt want to have sex because you did juat have a baby and he prolly doesnt want to risk getting you prego again and to keep himself under control he doesnt touch you as much or say things because he wants to avoid all that, especially since he knows how we women are sometimes, he compliments and you get warm and fuzzy inside and he goes with it and you get horny and wanna have sex and then he end up rejecting sex for a good reason. But we dont see that, we see "omg hes not attracted to me" because of the temptation to sleep with you? He is a guy and has no clue how to express the reasons hes doing what hes doing. But I wouldnt assume cheating untill you get proof of some kind.



mommadana
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 4:27 PM
Bc he had a lower sex drive, has he ever had his hormone levels checked by a doctor? He may have low testosterone. Also if he was in room when you were cut open, that may freak him out.

Quoting crazysheep:

Have you tried just telling him that?




Quoting KaydenzMomRockz:

Surprise blow jobs...yes! No complains there :) lol he doesn't have much of a sex drive & I do but as for him making me feel beautiful or hell even pretty again ehh nothing & I don't look bad after having a baby two weeks ago! ;) I think I just want to feel like we will still be close even tho the baby takes up most of my time...we r on two different pages he's still him & I'm mommy which means mature responsible & well busy! I think I don't want to feel left out when he's doin all the things we use to do together!!! Is that selfish??






Quoting crazysheep:

Have you tried some sexy undies and stuff?







Do you text each other at all? Try sexting? Build up the mood you know?







Surprise blow job?







Walk around naked?







Maybe flirt with him?







Sorry that's all I got I think...


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