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Ok I'm new here & I really need advice...first off my husband-we've been together nearly two years which we of course have our ups & downs like all couples! But since I was pregnant & hormonal he drifted cause I guess in unattractuve when I'm pregnant,I will be honest all I wanted was sex with him no matter how It was I have a High sex drive anyway so all I gained was 18 pounds my whole 9 months baby was nearly 9 pounds and I'm actually less then pre-pregnancy weight now two weeks later! So I have been trying to get him to notice me like he use to he enjoys adult videos I'm insecure I admit that it bothers me but I surprised him with a video a few nights ago-he didn't seem into it or even like he enjoyed it-I thought that would woo him 4 sure! But nope so he works till 930 at night I've been making him his fave dinners getting food from his fave places but nothing but "awesome babe" comes from his mouth-he never tells me I look pretty or nice or beautiful anymore,to test this I out in my old jeans (they fit good now) and a cute top for our daughtes drs appt this week & he walks right pass me @ says nothing. I love him so much & I want this to work out but he won't tell me what's the problem or why he's acting like this,he says its nothing & that I'm over reacting :( I don't know maybe I am but is it so much to ask for a romantic night where my husband notices me & shows me he loves me?? I mean for two weeks I've spent all night up with the baby so he can sleep I never ask for help & here's the whoa moment I had a c-section & haven't taken anything but Tylenol yup that's right and didn't even spend 24 hours in bed afterward! So my question is what more can I do!? He swears he's not cheating and that there's no one else! So what can u do!? I have tried all I know-some if the details I can't say but I've tried everything! If u know what I mean-I am at loss here!! :(
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 5:22 PM
Replies (41-50):
NyonUzi
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 4:28 PM

This is what I'm afraid of after I have my baby... I'm due in 13d will be induced on 12th if he's not here by then... But my dh is just waiting for me to pop this baby out lol he didn't really feel attracted to me sexually during this 9mnth but lately he's super wanting lol or needy... (well we're having our limit on not having sex lol) So I can't help but wish you best! 

Karen_S
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 4:46 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, I think you need to relax and give him some space. It's only been a couple of weeks, and you are climbing the walls needing more affirmation from him. You are risking being annoying with by being so needy and insecure. Why not give him a few weeks to sort himself out? Having a baby is a big deal. This might not be at all about how sexy you are or aren't, or how much weight you have or haven't put on...he might just be down or distracted for other reasons.  Marriage is for the long haul...you gotta ride out the small bumps without getting panicked, & have confidence in your relationship.  


cakbr
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 5:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Quit doing it all yourself.
Ask him for help with the baby.

It could possibly be that he feels useless and left out bc you are doing it all. Or that you don't trust him which in his mind converts to being a bad dad.

Or he is scared to hurt you bc of the c section.

It could be a number of things.
Sit down and have a heart to heart talk.
KaydenzMomRockz
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 5:34 PM
I ask him for help he us too busy playing Xbox when he gets home! He hates when I ask for help around the house or even with the baby he may hold her every other day but he won't feed her or change diapers so I have to do it on my own or my baby won't get taken care of! It hurts me that he's more hands on with his gaming then with our daughter!! I feel like he's changed his mind in having a family.


Quoting cakbr:

Quit doing it all yourself.

Ask him for help with the baby.



It could possibly be that he feels useless and left out bc you are doing it all. Or that you don't trust him which in his mind converts to being a bad dad.



Or he is scared to hurt you bc of the c section.



It could be a number of things.

Sit down and have a heart to heart talk.

KaydenzMomRockz
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 5:39 PM
Relaxe & give him space! He plays Xbox all weekend when he's home I talk more to the baby & my mother in law then him cause he says my shit don't concern him he doesn't effect him! He blows me off for gaming & I sit & smile. I have ask him to help with the baby he doesn't want to so I don't bother asking! I am aware that having a baby is a big deal that's why I would like him to be here for me & the baby-it's not about sex it's not about my insecurities it's simple I want my husband to spend time with me I never said give me advice on how to get him to bone me! I just need other woman's experience how this. I Don't need to be told I'm in the wrong when I just need to know if its normal behavior or not!


Quoting Karen_S:

Honestly, I think you need to relax and give him some space. It's only been a couple of weeks, and you are climbing the walls needing more affirmation from him. You are risking being annoying with by being so needy and insecure. Why not give him a few weeks to sort himself out? Having a baby is a big deal. This might not be at all about how sexy you are or aren't, or how much weight you have or haven't put on...he might just be down or distracted for other reasons.  Marriage is for the long haul...you gotta ride out the small bumps without getting panicked, & have confidence in your relationship.  



NonaScheib38
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 5:49 PM

Please stop killing yourself for this guy. Take a pain pill and relax. Tell him he needs to get up with his own baby once in a while. 

I think that by handling all this for him you think he's going to be impressed, but if this is the norm he'll just come to expect it. Give him some hell a little bit here and there. He NEEDS to be taking care of you and the baby.

As for the attractive, give him time with that. Men go through weird hormone changes too. If you want a romantic dinner night or whatever, plan it yourself and see if he'll ride along for it. 

Good luck.

cakbr
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 5:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Ooh... I would put my foot down and make him start helping.

You didn't create this child by yourself.

Hide the controllers or power cord. LOL!!

Obviously it is time for you to sit and have a discussion of your expectations of him an being a daddy. ETC.


Quoting KaydenzMomRockz:

I ask him for help he us too busy playing Xbox when he gets home! He hates when I ask for help around the house or even with the baby he may hold her every other day but he won't feed her or change diapers so I have to do it on my own or my baby won't get taken care of! It hurts me that he's more hands on with his gaming then with our daughter!! I feel like he's changed his mind in having a family.




Quoting cakbr:

Quit doing it all yourself.


Ask him for help with the baby.





It could possibly be that he feels useless and left out bc you are doing it all. Or that you don't trust him which in his mind converts to being a bad dad.





Or he is scared to hurt you bc of the c section.





It could be a number of things.


Sit down and have a heart to heart talk.


cakbr
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 5:51 PM
You didn't put this in your original post... The way I read the OP was you do it all on your own bc you chose too.

A lot of these answers would be different if you edited this in.


Quoting KaydenzMomRockz:

Relaxe & give him space! He plays Xbox all weekend when he's home I talk more to the baby & my mother in law then him cause he says my shit don't concern him he doesn't effect him! He blows me off for gaming & I sit & smile. I have ask him to help with the baby he doesn't want to so I don't bother asking! I am aware that having a baby is a big deal that's why I would like him to be here for me & the baby-it's not about sex it's not about my insecurities it's simple I want my husband to spend time with me I never said give me advice on how to get him to bone me! I just need other woman's experience how this. I Don't need to be told I'm in the wrong when I just need to know if its normal behavior or not!




Quoting Karen_S:

Honestly, I think you need to relax and give him some space. It's only been a couple of weeks, and you are climbing the walls needing more affirmation from him. You are risking being annoying with by being so needy and insecure. Why not give him a few weeks to sort himself out? Having a baby is a big deal. This might not be at all about how sexy you are or aren't, or how much weight you have or haven't put on...he might just be down or distracted for other reasons.  Marriage is for the long haul...you gotta ride out the small bumps without getting panicked, & have confidence in your relationship.  




mama-mom-mommy
by Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 6:20 PM
Back off. There is nothing more unattractive than a needy person, man or woman. You don't need him to make you feel sexy.
Join a mommy group ...Now!!
That will give you some compassion and you will be with new moms who like most of us never fit into our pre pregnancy jeans ( bitch) jk...
but for real, act like sex is the furthest thing. new like to be the aggressors. if I ask for sex I don't get it. If I don't want to, he begs for it.
Just take some time to be a mommy and he did just see you in the hospital all cut up and its hard for men. After you become a mom, you will be sexy to him for other reasons. don't be a mommy to him either. he should be making you dinner. Don't be clingy or needy and he will cone around. if not, he is cheating and will def not admit it do keep one eye open. good luck!!
mama-mom-mommy
by Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 6:21 PM
btw...two weeks after is gross. give it 6 weeks
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