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Being married with kids is no different from being single with kids?

Posted by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:28 PM
  • 85 Replies

I know there are some very hands on dads and every situation is unique, but does anyone else feel like they do everything domestic for their family? My husband sleeps during the day and works at night plus we're down one car so be usually does the driving, so that leaves me to do everything else, work, kids, cook and clean. Any attempt to talk about it turns into a who's more tired contest. I guess I should accept my fate? Anyone else feeling the same way?

by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
NDADanceMom
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:40 PM
Maybe it depends where you live but all the dads i know are very hands on. No i do not do more than my share of kid stuff. Dh is currently filling out papers for our birth plan and looking up info in the options. He's very good dad.
catrig
by Silver Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:42 PM
3 moms liked this

Let him bitch.  It still needs to be discussed.

alexsmomaubrys2
by Platinum Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:42 PM
1 mom liked this

No. DH and I share all parenting and household responsibilities. 

Bmat
by Ruby Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 9:09 PM
4 moms liked this

I felt that I was doing everything, but when I talked about it with my husband, he mentioned that he took care of the car and repairs as well as working full time. Now that we have a house, he also mows. So when I thought about it, I realized that he does more than I'd thought. The problem is that a mom's job is 24 hours a day every day. So it is important that she get some break time also. If the husband isn't willing, then they should hire a sitter so the mom can have even a half day a week off.

1kidmomajm
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 9:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Yup, my dh may do dishes, cook alot, do yard work, rub my messed up shoulder. But as for my son, he does not do any discipline. I have to ask him to tell my son to do this or that so I don't always look like the bad guy. My dh works at home alot, so when my son is home and not at camp, I have to leave lists of what they need to do or else my dh will let my son do video games 8 hours a day. At bed time its always me who has to say something, its always me who deals with homework. Its always me who coordinates activities. When my dh and son argue my dh lets the conversation go on and on like two sibling arguing, instead of telling my son how it's gonna be. I did get a better job recently, so I make sure I have a say in how I am spending money on me or my son!! My son is a good kid in general, just wish dh participated more.

bandzbandzbandz
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 9:44 PM
4 moms liked this

It's not the same at all. You have the income and support. If you didn't have him doing that you would have to cover it plus do everything you're doing now. I hate when people who are married say they are a single mom just because the husband works. No. No you aren't.

jccjj
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 10:10 PM
3 moms liked this

No, having a husband that doesn't do a lot is not the same thing as being a single mom. Even if they don't do a lot, they still contribute by working, and whatever they do do. However, there are some lucky women that have husbands that do half the work (kids, inside house, outside, laundry, cooking, and errands.) I get mad sometimes because I also work full time plus, and feel like I have to do mostly everything. But he cooks dinner & fixes broken things, and I am happy about that. But hats off to all you single mothers. You impress me!

Imjustinsmommy
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 10:25 PM
1 mom liked this

no. my dh is VERY hands on from pregnancy to now  still gets up in the night with  me &  does everything with me when he is home.  he truly goes above & beyond.

 do not  accpet your fate.. MAKE your fate who cares if he gets annoyed? too bad! its his kids too!

TADpole25
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:51 PM
Ok I have a question then I work at home plus have a 2yr he and I r not a married but share all the bills... when it comes to homely things he says its my job alone.. he works all day so the house work and things are for me to deal with and he leaves his messes all over the house his dirty clothes his dirty dishes its like he turns into a veggie after work asks for everything to be brought to him but always does that well fine if u don't wanna get it I can then is in a bad mood the rest of the time.. but when I say I'm tired I hear how u didn't even do any real work today...? What or how should I feel abt that and when we pick his duaghter up I'm required to wait on her as well I'm being run thin
KyliesMom5
by Platinum Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:58 PM
My ex-husband felt it was my job to do everything for and with our daughter so he did not participate as a parent unless he was forced to do it. Now he was an Otr truck driver so he was not home much to start with but even when he was home he did not want to spend time with Kylie. Not even when he took a job where he was him every weekend.
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