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Well this was lovely

Posted by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 2:16 AM
  • 10 Replies
I really need to talk to someone about this and hope it doesn't get too long but no promises.

My bf and I live together we have been together two months. Say what you will but it was live together for now or be homeless on the street with a four year old. I did what I had to do to keep a roof over our head. Anyways I moved in and have been paying the last two months full rent. I have also paid for car insurance, gas for about everything, and food to feed his kids and the three of us up till two weeks ago.

He had not had a job this whole time but had been looking. He just got food stamps to help out last week, has not filed for unemployment weather he would get it or not. He only has helped out with cleaning when asked or after I threw a fit.

So now that he found a job I will help him to get back on his feet but am going to tell him to leave, I am done. I am tired of trying to take care of two kids he is grown ass man he needs to learn to grow up. I refuse to change his oil and not because I can't do it,because man almighty I could but its not MY car. His car is overdue for an oil change and he knows it yet I bought everything to change the oil two weeks ago, it has yet to be changed.

The tipping point for all of my problems was this morning when my childs meltdown came after his hungry tummy, mind you he didn't want food till 11am. I was trying for the fifth time to explain how you deal with an autistic meltdown not because Ds might have it because his son for SURE has it, he wants full custody of his son and if he can't put the meltdown before the tummy why should I make time for him. I should also say during this conversation my bfs response to refusing to take time on top of being hungry is that he "doesn't deal with temper tantrums".

I would like to point out two things one he was not having a temper tantrum he was in fact having a melt down. He spilt some dry cereal down the stairs and was very upset over it. Then you add someone coming over cleaning it up and taking it right away with no explanation yeah he's going to freak. Secondly Ds is tired he has a toothache that kept us all up last night moods are high. I get he was hungry but he seriously couldn't take two minutes to calm Ds down long enough to get him to understand. Yeah I got pissed.

End the end after taking what time I could and looking at everything he is only willing to do things half way, I am done doing things all the way. I feel no reason to keep it going. I have tried the best in every way to make it work but I can't and refuse.

I am done venting, thank you for listening maybe my head might get some clearance, but for now I need to get Ds asleep. I gave him some of his Tylenol and codeine from when he had a tooth pulled about two months ago.
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 2:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 2:33 AM

Holy crap, you did not pick a winner to be a boy friend if he did not have a job when you met him.   Kudos though for trying to teach him how to handle melt downs in a constructive way rather than ignore or use negativity.

Bookoholic
by Silver Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:07 AM
He had a job when we got together, then quit because it was too hard on him. I get it, and then he had another job for five days but it was a meeting qouta type job which didn't work out.


Quoting frndlyfn:

Holy crap, you did not pick a winner to be a boy friend if he did not have a job when you met him.   Kudos though for trying to teach him how to handle melt downs in a constructive way rather than ignore or use negativity.


Bookoholic
by Silver Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:08 AM
Thank you, I just don't want to keep having to deal with it. If he can't learn by example or before he gets his kid its on him for what happens to his son, I feel for the kid but I can't help.


Quoting frndlyfn:

Holy crap, you did not pick a winner to be a boy friend if he did not have a job when you met him.   Kudos though for trying to teach him how to handle melt downs in a constructive way rather than ignore or use negativity.


frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:10 AM

Nope cant help those who do not want to be educated or learn new things.  My dd is hopefully getting evaluated soon by a medical specialist but in mean time her school has found some things going on and give us tools to help her succeed at home as well.

Quoting Bookoholic:

Thank you, I just don't want to keep having to deal with it. If he can't learn by example or before he gets his kid its on him for what happens to his son, I feel for the kid but I can't help.


Quoting frndlyfn:

Holy crap, you did not pick a winner to be a boy friend if he did not have a job when you met him.   Kudos though for trying to teach him how to handle melt downs in a constructive way rather than ignore or use negativity.



Bookoholic
by Silver Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:14 AM
The 13 is the soonest we could get tested atm. Its possible we could get tested sooner but wont know till Ds Dr appt.


Quoting frndlyfn:

Nope cant help those who do not want to be educated or learn new things.  My dd is hopefully getting evaluated soon by a medical specialist but in mean time her school has found some things going on and give us tools to help her succeed at home as well.

Quoting Bookoholic:

Thank you, I just don't want to keep having to deal with it. If he can't learn by example or before he gets his kid its on him for what happens to his son, I feel for the kid but I can't help.





Quoting frndlyfn:

Holy crap, you did not pick a winner to be a boy friend if he did not have a job when you met him.   Kudos though for trying to teach him how to handle melt downs in a constructive way rather than ignore or use negativity.





bandzbandzbandz
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:15 AM

Too easy.

Bookoholic
by Silver Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:22 AM
Huh?


Quoting bandzbandzbandz:

Too easy.


wadelgal
by on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:01 PM
One question ....you said I moved in to keep a roof over our heads right? If so than how can YOU tell HIM to leave? Not that I'm saying you should keep on with this guy or any kind if criticism I'm just a little confused:/
Bookoholic
by Silver Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 10:44 PM
He's not on the lease and I have been paying the last two months rent. He also wants to move closer to his job.


Quoting wadelgal:

One question ....you said I moved in to keep a roof over our heads right? If so than how can YOU tell HIM to leave? Not that I'm saying you should keep on with this guy or any kind if criticism I'm just a little confused:/

wadelgal
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 7:56 AM
Oh ok I knew you said you been paying rent but I thought it was his established dwelling an u were just paying the rent since u moved in. Yeah I'd say have a talk an if you can't work things out....goodbye!
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