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I have a question considering my baby and what is best for my baby.

Posted by on Aug. 25, 2013 at 4:53 PM
  • 22 Replies

I am about four weeks along and my boyfriend the father of my baby keeps begging me to give the baby up for adoption. I do not know what to do I know we are young and don't have a lot of money we both are in school, but i don't want to give my baby up any advice???

by on Aug. 25, 2013 at 4:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 4:55 PM

You have to think long and carefully about this.  If you want the baby, then keep them but be aware of all the struggles and trials of life you may go through while attempting to finish school as well.

Ninjascreenname
by Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 4:56 PM
how old are you? are your parents supportive?
jojo_star
by on Aug. 25, 2013 at 4:56 PM
How old are you, are you in high school or college? In the end, what you decide is YOUR choice, not his. Look at all three options, abortion, adoption, and parenting, and then decide. Make sure you can live with your choice, no matter what it is. There are resources to help you with each choice.
eflgel1513
by New Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 4:58 PM
sounds like you are in a tough situation. Do you have family/friends you could look to for support? How strong is your relationship with the baby's dad? This is a HUGE decision, try to get help before you make it. Good luck to you.
Mel0dy
by Bronze Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 4:59 PM

Do what YOU feel is right. 

may2014
by on Aug. 25, 2013 at 5:05 PM

I am 19 and he is 18 we both are in college. I hav not went to the doctors yet.

Kelsnick23
by Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 5:06 PM
1 mom liked this
This is literally a decision only YOU can make. It doesn't hurt to meet with an adoption councilor. They will give you the best, unbiased advice. Friends and family give opinions rather than advice, especially on a matter so life changing. You will know deep DEEP down in your heart what is the best decision. It will be completely self less and either way you go, just know that it is 100% what is for the best.

I was a young-ish mom in a terrible situation. I have grown light years and my daughter is now the most intelligent, beautiful, happy little two year old I have ever met. You can, and I welcome, personal message me.

BEST OF LUCK
may2014
by on Aug. 25, 2013 at 5:09 PM

I have a lot of suppoort from my family. My boyfriend and I have been off and on for awhile with his football and school and me working and school. Both of our moms were young when they had us and they have helped with out I know i dont want to give my baby up he keep pressuring me about the money and wanting to give our baby up to someone who has money to take care of the baby.

mcginnisc
by Gold Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 5:27 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting may2014:

I have a lot of suppoort from my family. My boyfriend and I have been off and on for awhile with his football and school and me working and school. Both of our moms were young when they had us and they have helped with out I know i dont want to give my baby up he keep pressuring me about the money and wanting to give our baby up to someone who has money to take care of the baby.


Oh honey...

I'm an adoptive mom and I will tell you that adoption is a lifelong journey. It should only be done if there is no possible way you can parent your child. Financial situations can improve, so relinquishing due to money is a temporary solution in many cases. A child deserves to be with their natural parent. Period. 

I would suggest that you speak with some first mothers, and adoptees as well as adoptive mothers before you decide anything. A first mother and adoptee will be able to speak with you about the grief that will occur with placement. You need to understand the laws surrounding adoption as well as there are many and they vary from state to state. Open adoption is not legally enforceable either, so if you did relinquish into an open adoption, the adoptive parents can then close the adoption with no warning and you have no recourse at all. 

I'm not trying to sway you in any way, I just know the realities as an adoptive parent. 

Good luck sweetheart.

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

MicheleJM
by Platinum Member on Aug. 25, 2013 at 5:45 PM

This and I would say look for a non biased counselor of some kind to help you sort this out.  Don't look for help on this site unless it's the most general of advice.  We know nothing about you or your situation you see.


Quoting mcginnisc:



Quoting may2014:

I have a lot of suppoort from my family. My boyfriend and I have been off and on for awhile with his football and school and me working and school. Both of our moms were young when they had us and they have helped with out I know i dont want to give my baby up he keep pressuring me about the money and wanting to give our baby up to someone who has money to take care of the baby.


Oh honey...

I'm an adoptive mom and I will tell you that adoption is a lifelong journey. It should only be done if there is no possible way you can parent your child. Financial situations can improve, so relinquishing due to money is a temporary solution in many cases. A child deserves to be with their natural parent. Period. 

I would suggest that you speak with some first mothers, and adoptees as well as adoptive mothers before you decide anything. A first mother and adoptee will be able to speak with you about the grief that will occur with placement. You need to understand the laws surrounding adoption as well as there are many and they vary from state to state. Open adoption is not legally enforceable either, so if you did relinquish into an open adoption, the adoptive parents can then close the adoption with no warning and you have no recourse at all. 

I'm not trying to sway you in any way, I just know the realities as an adoptive parent. 

Good luck sweetheart.



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