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Great Grandma is turning my toddler into a BRAT!

Posted by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 2:26 PM
  • 31 Replies

My daughters great grandma (my grandma) watches my daughter when ever I need a sitter. I know how blessed and fortunate I am to have free child care and unlimited access to dropping her off at a moments notice. I cant seem to get GG on board with any sort of discipline or basic common knowledge on how to guide a toddler. Things like handing a cup of permanent makers to her to play with at the kitchen table and turned her back to wash dishes. When I walked in and saw the scene my daughter had maker all over her entire body and I am the instant bad guy for taking the makers away and scolding her for not drawing on paper:( GG refuses to deny my daughter anything she wants and this results in a very tired strung out 2 yo by the time i get back. GG wont even look at me if I do discipline my daughter in any way. Its created a horrible relationship between me and my grandmother. I don't want to keep my daughter from her but my child's safety and up bringing are lacking when GG watches her. I also cant afford daycare by any means:( I hate that my sweet little girl has turned into such a brat as a result of GG letting her do what ever she wants. Any advice? I've tried talking to her. My mother has tried talking to her. Do I keep my daughter from her when I'm not around or continue to allow GG to watch my daughter and hope I can keep her from being a total brat as she gets older?

by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 2:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
NDADanceMom
by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 2:35 PM
2 moms liked this

LOL guess what?  She can do whatever she wants!  You know what you can do if you dont like it.  If thats not an option?  You should have thought about that before you had kids.  I watch my sisters 9 week old baby for $100 per week.  My sister works 50 hours in a week.  Its a great deal for her but not as good as you get.  I still am 100% in charge of how I handle the baby.  If my sister didnt like it, or felt it was damaging her baby she would stay home or find a new daycare.  She certainly wouldnt tell me, a mother of 4 that I dont know what im doing.  I assume your gg was a mom too!  

momof2girls339
by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 2:46 PM

That's a tough one. I let my mom watch my kids for a couple of hours once a month. Nothing gets done, she brings nuts into the house and my son is allergic so I have to ask every time please leave the nuts in your car, the house is a giant mess when I get home and she expects to eat dinner with us when I get home. She only eats certain things so I can't just order a pizza. It stinks, but I have a monthly doctor appointment that I can't bring the kids to and my teenage babysitter is on the tennis team so isn't home from school in time. 

suzieq83
by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 2:46 PM
1 mom liked this

@DANCEMOM.. i dont think our situatons are similar in any way. My gandmother handed my daughtr a cup of toxc permanant makers to play with .... i highly doubt you would do that to your kids or anyone elses kids. my grandmother loves spending time with my daughter and thats how the babysitin arrangment fell in to place. It wasnt forced on her or even sked of her. she offered and we started bringing her there. i dont want to keep my grandmother from my daughter i was hoping to get actual advice on how to talk to my grandma and et her on board so we all collectively look out for my daughters best interest even if my daughter doesnt like it.. BTW DIDNT YOUR MOTHER EVER TLL YOU IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY DONT SAY IT ALL? YOUR POST WAS OUT OF LINE AND I DIDNT ASK YOUR OPINION ON MY CHOICE FOR HAVING CHILDREN EITHER!

crwspringer
by Platinum Member on Aug. 27, 2013 at 2:52 PM
2 moms liked this
Well, maybe bring a large bin of toys, markers, coloring book, clay, paint, and clothes it is ok to get messy. If she is watching your child for free, she should not be expected to purchase age appropriate things.

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suzieq83
by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 2:59 PM

See now I dont understand why your mother wuld bring peanuts around her own grandchildren when they are allergic? Thats a deadly allergy and it doesnt mkae sense to put your own family at risk... just like i dont understand why my grandmother would hand my daughter toxic markers... if she had sucked on them she would have been one very sick little girl... How do i relay this to my grandma with out hurting her feelings and get her to back me on basic discipline.

suzieq83
by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 3:04 PM

@crwspringer the baby crayons, coloring books, and all her age appropriate toys are in the spare room that i decorated and supplied with everything my daughter could possibly want. I buy the groceries pay part of the cable (for the extra disney channels) and my grandmother doesnt need or want for anything that she would require to watch a chid.

jconney80
by Gold Member on Aug. 27, 2013 at 4:47 PM
Wow just wow...

I'm sorry OP. I hope you can get your grandmother on board. I'd be frustrated too


Quoting NDADanceMom:

LOL guess what?  She can do whatever she wants!  You know what you can do if you dont like it.  If thats not an option?  You should have thought about that before you had kids.  I watch my sisters 9 week old baby for $100 per week.  My sister works 50 hours in a week.  Its a great deal for her but not as good as you get.  I still am 100% in charge of how I handle the baby.  If my sister didnt like it, or felt it was damaging her baby she would stay home or find a new daycare.  She certainly wouldnt tell me, a mother of 4 that I dont know what im doing.  I assume your gg was a mom too!  

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waytomanykids10
by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 4:53 PM
2 moms liked this

 I do not expect my childrens grandmother to discipline them. It's not her job.

Arwyn724
by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 6:24 PM

If you have all that, then make sure the toxic markers are put away so great-grandmother can't find them.  I'm sure she will use what is readily available, so if she works cleaning the kitchen, move the appropriate gear into the kitchen.

Quoting suzieq83:

@crwspringer the baby crayons, coloring books, and all her age appropriate toys are in the spare room that i decorated and supplied with everything my daughter could possibly want. I buy the groceries pay part of the cable (for the extra disney channels) and my grandmother doesnt need or want for anything that she would require to watch a chid.


Arwyn 724 

strawberryLVR
by Gold Member on Aug. 27, 2013 at 6:33 PM

you can't spend time with her, just don't let her be in charge of her. I wouldn't even let my own mother  watch my kids.

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