My argument: he's almost 37 and not getting any younger. I don't want him to be 40 before we start trying. He is an only child with older parents. They would LOVE to live to see at least 1 grandchild and be able to enjoy some time with him/her. We are both healthy, financially stable, well employed, own a house, own a car, etc- do not have any of the issues that most husbands cite for wanting to wait. He currently travels quite a but for work, but in the next 9 months or so he will be taking a job with his company where he will be working M-F, 9-5. Home every night. To me, we've done so much together- travelled the world, eaten great things, practically run a hostel for friends out of our apartment, done pretty much whatever we wanted together and separately. You get to a point where things start to seem a little hollow. Fun, but meaningless. We live at full speed to the point where I have to remind him you can only do things to a point before they stop being fun and start being exhausting. I'm ready to make our next adventure together- having a family. I know he'll be a great father when the time comes, but he's so resistant to getting the ball rolling. My request to him was not all that crazy, I thought. I want to go off BC at the beginning of 2014 and just stop trying to prevent pregnancy. Not "actively trying" but not actively preventing either. Neither of us has ever tried to have a baby and who knows how long it might take.
His argument: i want to go on an African safari. I want 2 more summers before we try. I don't want to talk about this. The idea scares me.
Now, I understand that someone who lived as a total bachelor for 30+ years is going to have a hard time giving up his selfish lifestyle. He hasn't really had to, even for me (except being faithful obviously). I want him to be excited about taking this next step together, not do it grudgingly. I want to have a productive conversation about my thoughts and feelings without getting shut down. I understand that this is a decision that should be made together, but how do you navigate when you disagree? One person can't "win" without it being completely 1 sided. "He said no so I'll wait" doesn't work for me, but neither does "going behind his back." I have an issue with this especially because we are catholic and by getti g married in the Catholic Church you are consenting to one another to having children right there at the altar.
Anyone who has had a similar situation, please advise. What tactics did you use for trying to talk to your husband? What got through to him? I don't want to have another conversation about this again (the last one was in May) until I feel like I can sit down and have a conversation that doesn't sound like an emotional woman asking her husbands permission to be open to having a baby.