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Am I the only one? Need advice .

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 2:09 AM
  • 11 Replies
I'm a Mother to a Wonderful BabyBoy, I live with My Boyfriend (Baby's Dad). I love having My Mini Family together because what I most want is my Baby growing up with his Mom and Dad. But this past months our relationship has been a disaster for the reason he doesn't help around the house or with the baby, just sometimes, we mostly argue about everything he nearly shows he cares for us. I want the best life for my son and don't want him to be with out his dad, but is just I wouldn't like him seeing how we argue either. Don't know what to do I try every single thing from my side to make it work, but he doesn't..
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 2:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
xxxTrishy518xxx
by Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 2:14 AM
1 mom liked this

I was in the same situation for the exact same reasons. I wanted nothing more than my son having both his parents in his life. because of him and his actions or non actions.. after 5 years of us being together, I was miserable for the 4 years. Pretty much same what you said,  I stayed because of our son. But after 5 years.. I just couldn't do it anymore. 

I finally broke it off with him. We have joint custody of our son, I have him Mon-Friday and he takes him on weekends... and sometimes its weekends at his own convenience. Honestly, if he doesn't try, if he won't listen or communicate with you... I would leave.   You just have to ask yourself, is it really worth being unhappy for the rest of your life if you want to stay.  I rather raise my son on my own singly, than raise him alone even with his father. Hope this helps and good luck and hope things work out. 


Btw, I am very happy with my life right now. I am in a new relationship, Been with him for almost a year now and we been best friends prior =) Keep your head up

Katrinapreston
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 2:18 AM
The best thing "I think" is for you both to be happy! Happy is always the healthy choice! I know you want to make it work, we all do. Doesn't mean he won't have his father on his life ( unless he chooses to stay away) but it sounds like he is already gone in some way already! Hope my opinion helps- its just an opinion though! Your <3 knows what's right!! Don't let emotions or other people tell you what's best for you or your son!
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 2:33 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree.   One happy parent is better than 2 miserable parents in pretty much any case for a child.   The father can stay involved if he chooses for the child.  I have known many couples coparent better apart than together in the same house.

Quoting Katrinapreston:

The best thing "I think" is for you both to be happy! Happy is always the healthy choice! I know you want to make it work, we all do. Doesn't mean he won't have his father on his life ( unless he chooses to stay away) but it sounds like he is already gone in some way already! Hope my opinion helps- its just an opinion though! Your <3 knows what's right!! Don't let emotions or other people tell you what's best for you or your son!


alexis_06
by AnnaLisa :) on Aug. 28, 2013 at 2:34 AM
1 mom liked this

 *hugs* have you guyes tried counselling at all?

Kathy489
by Bronze Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 4:00 AM

Call his bluff and ask him to start looking for another place to live. I wish I had done it years ago. The thing about men is that they will get away with as much as they can get away with. As long as he is getting away without helping, it will continue. By calling his bluff, you will find out if he will wake up or not. Hopefully, he will. I chose to stay with my son's dad so my son would have both parents, but I am not happy. The thing is, though, would I be happy otherwise trying to be a single mom? Who's to say there is another relationship that would make me happy? Sometimes we jump out of the pan and into the fire, or just into another pan. For my son's sake, I just stay. I agree about little kids having both parents because they are too little to have to carry the burden of adult relationships. Dont argue in front of him. What I find more effective is ignoring my son's dad. It seems to work better.

hugss
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by Ruby Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:30 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this ;)

Quoting Katrinapreston:

The best thing "I think" is for you both to be happy! Happy is always the healthy choice! I know you want to make it work, we all do. Doesn't mean he won't have his father on his life ( unless he chooses to stay away) but it sounds like he is already gone in some way already! Hope my opinion helps- its just an opinion though! Your <3 knows what's right!! Don't let emotions or other people tell you what's best for you or your son!


disastermind
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 7:52 PM

My oldest sons father didn't want to help either. He didn't want to grow up. He loved the idea of having a baby but didn't like the reality of it.

I wasted 8 years with him. I tried talking, fighting and begging him to be a better boyfriend and father. He never changed.

If you aren't happy, your child will see it. I personally think it's better to be a single parent and happy than to be a two parent home and miserable.

got3boyz
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 8:21 PM

Please don't stay in a relationship just because you have a child together.  I've been down that road and it didn't end well.  You have to do whatever you feel will make you and baby happiest. 

mrs.Emm1
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 10:15 PM

A child would rather come from a broken home than live in one. You're not doing yourself or your child any favors by remaining in a bad situation. Both of you deserve better. Good luck.

jconney80
by Gold Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:38 PM
Hugs! I'd look into counseling
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