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My dear husband.

Posted by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 1:54 AM
  • 32 Replies
Hi :) I am 20 years old and I just had my first baby. He's a month old now. I breastfeed and use the breast pump. Ever since we brought the little guy home, I've been sleeping on the couch with him. He won't sleep for long in his bassinette and the only way for me to get sleep is to have him sleep on me or right next to me. My husband keeps saying that I'm spoiling him or ruining him and that I'm the reason that he's crying. I feel like my husband is mad at me all the time for how I'm taking care of our baby. I feel like he doesn't trust me to do what is right for our son. I'm his mom and I'm doing what feels right and what works. I have to be home with him all day and I'm the only one staying up or getting up with him at night.... I was just wondering if anyone else has felt this way about their husband?

Thanks,
Mama-Jama
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 1:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tla86
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:28 AM
3 moms liked this
Yes but I want u to know and believe this. Babies are meant to cry and its okay for him to cry in his bed. I know it's going to be hard but as a mother of three u need to know that eventually u are going to have to get him used to sleeping on his own. U don't want him to be five still sleeping in ur bed. Ur hubby needs his wife and u need him. This should be a happy time for you both and I'm sure he's not happy with his beautiful wife on the sofa everynight. Spend time together dont let the best time in both ur lives drive u apart. Compromise. Both of u! Love each other and the little Guy. I bet he's cute. Congratulations!
ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:37 AM
4 moms liked this

techneically you can't spoil a baby that young ... but that said you can not sleep on the couch forever and your husband need at least som nighttime cuddle time.emotionally he probably feels like he has lost you to someone else ( your son) try letting you little guy sleep in his bed he will sleep there longer and longer as he gets used to it.

alexis_06
by AnnaLisa :) on Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:40 AM

 hey! welcome to the group!!  congrats on your first baby! what an exciting,fun time!!

i dont think that your can ever spoil a one month old!

tnt-manda
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:42 AM
1 mom liked this
this well said


Quoting tla86:

Yes but I want u to know and believe this. Babies are meant to cry and its okay for him to cry in his bed. I know it's going to be hard but as a mother of three u need to know that eventually u are going to have to get him used to sleeping on his own. U don't want him to be five still sleeping in ur bed. Ur hubby needs his wife and u need him. This should be a happy time for you both and I'm sure he's not happy with his beautiful wife on the sofa everynight. Spend time together dont let the best time in both ur lives drive u apart. Compromise. Both of u! Love each other and the little Guy. I bet he's cute. Congratulations!

Jenifr
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:48 AM
Yes, he did. It made me doubted myself and I felt guilty for "spoiling" my son and was being a terrible mom. It took me two years to realize. My son is now 2.5 and the sweetest little gentlemen.

With my daughter, I just ignored my partner's criticisms plus a big helping of attitude that said "to hell with you!"

I do agree with tla86. Babies cannot never cry.
GaleJ
by Silver Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 7:38 AM
1 mom liked this
At this point your husband's job is to be Superdad and to be doing whatever you need him to do to be supportive. That should not include criticism of your parenting especially when what he has to say is absolute nonsense. Not only are you correct in saying babies can't be spoiled but by meeting all the baby's needs as you are now you are building the foundation for a confident and independent child down the road a bit. As for the idea that your husband's need for you being as great as a newborn baby's, that is silly. He is a grown up and the father and, for the time being, can and should put his needs on hold while his baby acclimates and bonds with you. Keep up what you're doing, it is the most important thing you could be doing right now.
Indianamomto4
by Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 8:27 AM
3 moms liked this

I am a mom of 4 who said I would never sleep with my baby....then I had my 4th and I slept the first 4 months of his life with him on the couch :P He just needed that kangaroo care for some reason and it was the only way for either of us to get any sleep! I can remember my dh coming in the living room and saying, "Are you ever going to sleep in our bed again?" lol!

Trust me it does get better. Just keep working with him to get him sleeping in his own bed. Finally at 4 mos. my ds was able to sleep in his crib. By then he was too big for the bassinette and never used the new one we had been given for him. I am sure your dh is just missing his wife and feeling left out. Try talking to him about how his comments make you feel at a time when your calm and not feeling so sleep deprived. Let him know your goal is to eventually get your ds to sleep in his own crib, but right now you need his support until you get through this phase. Good Luck!

mama-jama
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 9:48 PM
1 mom liked this

Mobile Photo

Thank you everyone! I found all of this very helpful! :) I'm so happy to be able to get stuff like this off of my chest to people that actually have experience. I appreciate it! :) here's a picture of my LO (:
dancingthrulife
by Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 9:57 PM

i get in "trouble" too..although my dh does support it but i co-sleep. he thinks i plan on what side of the bed i or one my gurls are on.. whyen he comes home or to bed at 2AM..im to tired..we have gotten in to it  cause he gets loud and immature bout it..i try..my dh knows he is a jerk..sometimes..gots to talk w your dp hun..marriage it hard..

alexis_06
by AnnaLisa :) on Aug. 30, 2013 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this

 omg, sooo adorable!!

Quoting mama-jama:

Mobile Photo

Thank you everyone! I found all of this very helpful! :) I'm so happy to be able to get stuff like this off of my chest to people that actually have experience. I appreciate it! :) here's a picture of my LO (:

 

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