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Hi :) I am 20 years old and I just had my first baby. He's a month old now. I breastfeed and use the breast pump. Ever since we brought the little guy home, I've been sleeping on the couch with him. He won't sleep for long in his bassinette and the only way for me to get sleep is to have him sleep on me or right next to me. My husband keeps saying that I'm spoiling him or ruining him and that I'm the reason that he's crying. I feel like my husband is mad at me all the time for how I'm taking care of our baby. I feel like he doesn't trust me to do what is right for our son. I'm his mom and I'm doing what feels right and what works. I have to be home with him all day and I'm the only one staying up or getting up with him at night.... I was just wondering if anyone else has felt this way about their husband?

by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 1:54 AM
Replies (31-32):
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 4:58 PM
I've made lots of changes since this post. I've taken LO to the bedroom with daddy and I for night time. The reason why I wasn't back there before was because the bed's box spring was broken and it made the bed cave in at certain areas. So we took the frame and box spring off and put the top mattress on the floor. That made the bed firmer and safer for us to have more space. When we were pregnant, we both decided on no cosleeping. Because we too thought it was dangerous and unhealthy for the baby. But now since the changes, my husband and I both agree that it gives the baby more rest and us more rest. We understand the risk of SIDS and the fact that we are young doesn't make us ignorant of that. Trust me, my mommy instincts are intact. My husband and I have also had some more "us" time. I learned that he was worried about me and the health of our son before. And when he worries, he gets frustrated and acts on it. We talked out our worries and settled them. We also got a good-to-go from the doctor to start back having sex. Men in general get weird when they don't have sex. Haha so we've been exploring more and it has made us happier. I know, in just a few days! But that only means that things are getting better. Thank you all for the concern and comments. I really appreciate the advice. I've decided to start out with putting him in his bed for naps, if I can find a way to make him comfortable. Then gradually get him sleeping in his bed at night. :) there is hope for us yet! We are learning as we go. Lol!
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 5:41 PM

You cannot spoil a one month old baby. It's just not possible. He needs you right now.

Your husband is probably expecting the baby to just sleep through the night in his own bed, which isn't always the case with babies. Some (like mine) won't sleep in their crib until they're older.

I'd tell him that you'd love to be able to sleep with him in your bed again but having a baby that small, it's just not going to happen right now. He needs to deal with it.

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