I have a friend who is a mom & suffers from depression. were close friends online ( not on cafemom she isn't a member) and we chat on the phone . she lives in California & im in NY so we don't see eachother..
anyway, here's the situtaion she has 2 kids a 1 yr dd & a 7 yr ds & she confided in me that she's been struggling wither her depression since her divorce last yr was final.
her ex & her are on " ok" terms . he works ft as he always has & the kids stay with her.
her parents help her out with $ too & babysit at times.
she sleeps in in the morning & says her ds manages ok he can grab fruit & a drink & if he really needs her or wakes her she does get up but mostly this poor kid is waking up to being alone while she sleeps. he watches tv & plays with his toys nicely & is a pretty smart & good kid. her dd tends to sleep in a bit and finally gets up about 9 am but she todl me she rolls over & falls back to sleep w/o even truly realizing it she is just so tired & blah.. & the baby either just plays in the crib or falls back to sleep for a bit & she said she usually gets the baby around 10am or so.
im floored bc MY son would NEVER let me sleep OMG & he needs help with everything but he is different & younger he is 5 ... she feels super guilty & gets up gets them both what they need feeds the baby changes him throws a load of laundry in does a few things then just lays ont he couch wacthing them play & even drifts into sleep again!!
she is not on any meds & I assume being so tired is from depression.
she doesnt eat much & she does bath them at night & feed dinner & read them books & stuff but basically the mornings they both wait around & in the day she has been mostly laying around on the couch.
i told her to get more help or something but she is scared she will be seen as unfit or that this is neglect. i told her not doing anything would be worse.. but im not sure how bad this really is.. im not there & i only know what she tells me. she is honest with me & didnt even need to tell me this.. it sounds crappy but im not sure these kids are " neglected" my mom was menatlly unwell & i also fended for myself as a kid often while she slept the day away but we had plenty to eat, play with & she wasnt abusive..
idk what to do & i dont want to get her in trouble or mad at me.
what woudl you do? do you think this is neglect or bad?