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what to say when you daughter cries about her size? ETA a picture

Posted by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:37 AM
  • 109 Replies
1 mom liked this

my daughter it 8 and she is a beautiful little girl... but she is small...petite. it is just her genes I'm 5'1" my mother in law is 5'2".she just turned 8 and she is 4 Ft exactly and 50 lbs, putting her in the 10th percentile for hight and 20th for weight.  so the other night she broke down crying because "It's just so embarassing to be always be the smallest kid in my class... even some of the 1st graders are bigger than me!!!" she was just sobbing and I didn't have any idea how to make her feel better. what would you have done?

by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:37 AM
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frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:41 AM

awww i would give her hugs and reassure her that she is perfect how she is.  It is in the genes to be a pixie girl (what i call smaller than average girls).  My dd is 7 and almost taller than her 15 yr old cousin as well.   She has a friend in her grade who is petite and i have not seen any teasing yet happen for that little girl.   Has her doctor showed any concern?

Hartbrayka
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:42 AM
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Just tell her that all girls grow differently, and eventually she will get taller, and just remind her that it doesn't matter how tall she is, and that she is beautiful even though she is not taller yet. You should google "short" famous people and cheer her up and show her all the famous ppl(singers, movie stars, etc.) that are also shorter than others.
MyStarLight
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Tell her that she doesnt know how good she has it
Im 5'6 and i always wanted to be alot shorter since most of my.friends are 5'2
Oh i wish i.could find that thing were.it said short girls are the best or something
or it said
Short ppl mature alot faster since we already stopped growing
It was cute
I bet your DD is beautiful
Just keep telling.her that
susannah2000
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:54 AM
1 mom liked this

I would tell her that she is still growing, and she isn't going to be this size forever, and it's nothing she can rush, bearing in mind that she comes from short families and that you get the height you get. ,i would also let her know that alot of people, especially kids, have something about them that they don't like, or wish that they were taller or shorter. I would let her feel bad about it for the moment and then encourage her to go on with her life, and not dwell on it, nor would I feel all sorry for her. I actually knew a 6 year old who was my height, 5'4, I could have sworn she was at least  10, and I am sure she wished she was the same height as the other kids in her class too. No one likes to see their kids upset, but I think parents can overcomfort, which sends a message to the kid that it is worth getting that upset over, or that something IS wrong with them.

GaleJ
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 4:55 AM
4 moms liked this
When my son was young he was very small and was always the smallest boy in any of his classes. I always told him that such things don't matter, that he was the perfect "Kyle Andrew" size, and that generally such things were not an issue when you are an adult.

In your place, having a daughter,I think I would make a point of telling her about some women that are of small stature, Kristin Chenowith, who is four feet, eleven inches comes immediately to mind as do the gymnasts who compete in the Olympics.

I also used to tell my son, when he complained he wasn't tall enough, how silly he was being. Of course he was tall enough...his legs reached all the way to the floor. Usually he would look at me funny and then laugh. Sometimes laughing is exactly what is needed to interrupt such whining.
AmericanChild82
by Chrissy on Sep. 1, 2013 at 5:06 AM
2 moms liked this
Point out all the good reasons there are to being smaller. I am 5'2 as well. We fun sized people have an advantage like always being able to find cute clothes to fit us easier, finding cute shoes in our size, our feet dont hang over the edge of a bed, we dont have to really worry about being taller than anyone we date and we are all beautiful, no matter how big or small we are.
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imultracool
by Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 5:07 AM
I know what you mean. My dd is 7 and in the 0.24% for height. Shes in second grade but the size of a kindergartener. Luckily she doesn't let it bother her.
KatLee42513
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 6:36 AM
7 moms liked this
Some of this advice is ludacris. Don't talk about the benefits of being smaller or pull up celebrities that are short....seriously guus? I'm 27 5'1 and 92 lbs...I've been this way forever..tiny. sit down and explain to her that each and every person is unique and point out good qualities about her personality. Is she caring? Does she go out of her way for her friends? Is she incredibly talented and smart? Leave looks out of the conversation. Talk about her inner qualities. You should definitely talk to her about how we are all different physically and no one has bad physical qualities...we are all beautiful in our own way.
kellysp6637
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 6:45 AM

 Awwww.....that's heartbreaking.  My dd is 9 and 5'1 and 80 pounds.  She is beautiful, but always the tallest in her class and by FAR taller than any of her girlfriends.  Friday, I took her and her best friend for a manicure and pedicure for their annual back to school shopping trip.  Then later we went to Justice.  My daughter's BFF is like your daughter....she is 48 pounds and about 4'.......My dd wears a size 12 or 14 at Justice while her friends was shopping in the 7's. 

My dd later asked me why she had to be so much bigger than all the rest of the girls.  I felt so bad, because she is not fat, not even slightly chubby, she is very slim and toned, but just very tall.  Certain skirts her friend tried on looked adorable on the friend, but looked a little too "sluttish" on my dd (obviously I didn't say that to her), because of her long legs and height. 

It's such a tough balance when raising girls.......

I would tell your dd the same thing I tell mine, that we are all created differently and that she is absolutely beautiful in her way.  Then I would point out the benefits of being petite (but for me, I point out the benefits of being tall) and that usually makes my dd happy about being tall.

susannah2000
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 6:52 AM



Quoting GaleJ:

When my son was young he was very small and was always the smallest boy in any of his classes. I always told him that such things don't matter, that he was the perfect "Kyle Andrew" size, and that generally such things were not an issue when you are an adult.

In your place, having a daughter,I think I would make a point of telling her about some women that are of small stature, Kristin Chenowith, who is four feet, eleven inches comes immediately to mind as do the gymnasts who compete in the Olympics.

I also used to tell my son, when he complained he wasn't tall enough, how silly he was being. Of course he was tall enough...his legs reached all the way to the floor. Usually he would look at me funny and then laugh. Sometimes laughing is exactly what is needed to interrupt such whining.

My grandfather would say a similar thing. If I said my legs are too short, he would say, "they're not too short, they reach the floor!" I just don't think too much should be made of it now, the kid is only 8.


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