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what to say when you daughter cries about her size? ETA a picture

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my daughter it 8 and she is a beautiful little girl... but she is small...petite. it is just her genes I'm 5'1" my mother in law is 5'2".she just turned 8 and she is 4 Ft exactly and 50 lbs, putting her in the 10th percentile for hight and 20th for weight.  so the other night she broke down crying because "It's just so embarassing to be always be the smallest kid in my class... even some of the 1st graders are bigger than me!!!" she was just sobbing and I didn't have any idea how to make her feel better. what would you have done?

by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:37 AM
Replies (11-20):
susannah2000
by Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 6:56 AM

Quoting AmericanChild82:

Point out all the good reasons there are to being smaller. I am 5'2 as well. We fun sized people have an advantage like always being able to find cute clothes to fit us easier, finding cute shoes in our size, our feet dont hang over the edge of a bed, we dont have to really worry about being taller than anyone we date and we are all beautiful, no matter how big or small we are.

At 5'4, I was never so happy when Capri pants came into style, as then the first time in my life I could buy pants that didn't trail behind me on the floor. In addition to being the right length, I think they also make shorter people look taller, by making the legs appear longer. I did not consider being "fun sized" an advantage when buying clothes or trying to see over people's shoulders in a crowd.
madhouseof5
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 6:56 AM
O I have been reading this post with intrest
My DD has a growth problem and my never grow much more then 4ft 9
We are telling her shes a stong person a strong soul
Shes only 3 but we pick on her to LOL Calling her figgit miggit and tich
Its really going to be hard for her as shes from a very large family
All my sons are well over 6 ft
I am 5ft 9 older DD has been guestamated at growing up to 5ft 7 plus
So Youngest is going to stand out as being very small
AmericanChild82
by Chrissy on Sep. 1, 2013 at 7:01 AM
I was trying to give her good points of being short. Yeah sometimes it sucks being short but every height has its good and bad points.

Quoting susannah2000:



Quoting AmericanChild82:

Point out all the good reasons there are to being smaller. I am 5'2 as well. We fun sized people have an advantage like always being able to find cute clothes to fit us easier, finding cute shoes in our size, our feet dont hang over the edge of a bed, we dont have to really worry about being taller than anyone we date and we are all beautiful, no matter how big or small we are.



At 5'4, I was never so happy when Capri pants came into style, as then the first time in my life I could buy pants that didn't trail behind me on the floor. In addition to being the right length, I think they also make shorter people look taller, by making the legs appear longer. I did not consider being "fun sized" an advantage when buying clothes or trying to see over people's shoulders in a crowd.
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kellysp6637
by Platinum Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 7:08 AM

 I totally agree americanchild, every height does have it's good points.  There are some times when I really envy small, petite women because they can always look cute in fashionable in certain clothes and when I was single it always seemed to me that men were always drawn to that "cute" girl.  However, I'm almost 5'8" and carry weight pretty well, can wear some cute things that don't always look too cute on shorter women, etc......like you said, every height does have it's positives and negatives. 

Quoting AmericanChild82:

I was trying to give her good points of being short. Yeah sometimes it sucks being short but every height has its good and bad points.

Quoting susannah2000:



Quoting AmericanChild82:

Point out all the good reasons there are to being smaller. I am 5'2 as well. We fun sized people have an advantage like always being able to find cute clothes to fit us easier, finding cute shoes in our size, our feet dont hang over the edge of a bed, we dont have to really worry about being taller than anyone we date and we are all beautiful, no matter how big or small we are.



At 5'4, I was never so happy when Capri pants came into style, as then the first time in my life I could buy pants that didn't trail behind me on the floor. In addition to being the right length, I think they also make shorter people look taller, by making the legs appear longer. I did not consider being "fun sized" an advantage when buying clothes or trying to see over people's shoulders in a crowd.

 

susannah2000
by Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 7:15 AM



Quoting AmericanChild82:

I was trying to give her good points of being short. Yeah sometimes it sucks being short but every height has its good and bad points.

Quoting susannah2000:



Quoting AmericanChild82:

Point out all the good reasons there are to being smaller. I am 5'2 as well. We fun sized people have an advantage like always being able to find cute clothes to fit us easier, finding cute shoes in our size, our feet dont hang over the edge of a bed, we dont have to really worry about being taller than anyone we date and we are all beautiful, no matter how big or small we are.



At 5'4, I was never so happy when Capri pants came into style, as then the first time in my life I could buy pants that didn't trail behind me on the floor. In addition to being the right length, I think they also make shorter people look taller, by making the legs appear longer. I did not consider being "fun sized" an advantage when buying clothes or trying to see over people's shoulders in a crowd.


Oh yes. People that feel too tall have their gripes too, especially girls who are taller than the boys their ages. For that girl I would use Allison Janney as example, as a tall, kind of awkward woman who is so talented and funny. As it turns out, both she and Kristin Chenoweth were on the West Wing, the shrimp and the flamingo!. Also, Emily Procter, from the West Wing and CSI Miami, is  5'2.

KatLee42513
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 7:33 AM
We shouldn't be talking about benefits of being tall or petite....no one size has "benefits" we are all beautiful no matter what. I'm petite myself I'm 27 and 5'1 and 93 lbs...I'm also someone who has suffered from anorecia more then half my life....leave that out...that is a disaster waiting to happen...no one size is better then the other in any way shape or form.


Quoting kellysp6637:

 Awwww.....that's heartbreaking.  My dd is 9 and 5'1 and 80 pounds.  She is beautiful, but always the tallest in her class and by FAR taller than any of her girlfriends.  Friday, I took her and her best friend for a manicure and pedicure for their annual back to school shopping trip.  Then later we went to Justice.  My daughter's BFF is like your daughter....she is 48 pounds and about 4'.......My dd wears a size 12 or 14 at Justice while her friends was shopping in the 7's. 


My dd later asked me why she had to be so much bigger than all the rest of the girls.  I felt so bad, because she is not fat, not even slightly chubby, she is very slim and toned, but just very tall.  Certain skirts her friend tried on looked adorable on the friend, but looked a little too "sluttish" on my dd (obviously I didn't say that to her), because of her long legs and height. 


It's such a tough balance when raising girls.......


I would tell your dd the same thing I tell mine, that we are all created differently and that she is absolutely beautiful in her way.  Then I would point out the benefits of being petite (but for me, I point out the benefits of being tall) and that usually makes my dd happy about being tall.


kellysp6637
by Platinum Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 7:37 AM
1 mom liked this

 Good Grief, I see no reason to make this into such a sensitive issue....it's height...there's nothing one can do about it so you might as well point out the best parts of it...both petiteness and tallness.  And as a matter of fact there ARE benefits to both.  Pointing out the benefits in no way shape or form indicates that one is better than the other...it's simply identifying the positives about something. 

My dd has never once said she is better than someone because she is taller...but my pointing out the positives attributes of being tall has helped her be more confident and okay with her height and I see nothing wrong with that.

 

Quoting KatLee42513:

We shouldn't be talking about benefits of being tall or petite....no one size has "benefits" we are all beautiful no matter what. I'm petite myself I'm 27 and 5'1 and 93 lbs...I'm also someone who has suffered from anorecia more then half my life....leave that out...that is a disaster waiting to happen...no one size is better then the other in any way shape or form.


Quoting kellysp6637:

 Awwww.....that's heartbreaking.  My dd is 9 and 5'1 and 80 pounds.  She is beautiful, but always the tallest in her class and by FAR taller than any of her girlfriends.  Friday, I took her and her best friend for a manicure and pedicure for their annual back to school shopping trip.  Then later we went to Justice.  My daughter's BFF is like your daughter....she is 48 pounds and about 4'.......My dd wears a size 12 or 14 at Justice while her friends was shopping in the 7's. 


My dd later asked me why she had to be so much bigger than all the rest of the girls.  I felt so bad, because she is not fat, not even slightly chubby, she is very slim and toned, but just very tall.  Certain skirts her friend tried on looked adorable on the friend, but looked a little too "sluttish" on my dd (obviously I didn't say that to her), because of her long legs and height. 


It's such a tough balance when raising girls.......


I would tell your dd the same thing I tell mine, that we are all created differently and that she is absolutely beautiful in her way.  Then I would point out the benefits of being petite (but for me, I point out the benefits of being tall) and that usually makes my dd happy about being tall.


 

momofsixangels
by Platinum Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 7:39 AM

I tell her how she is so beautiful inside and out.

crwspringer
by Platinum Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 7:48 AM
I would let her know that EVERYONE at one time or another feels insecure about their size.
I remember being the tallest kid in my class for ages.... Significantly. (My dd is going through the same thing). I was always uncomfortable with who I was bc of it.
Maybe get her involved with activities where small size is to her advantage. (Gymnastics, tumble, dance)
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disastermind
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 12:33 PM

Aw, poor kiddo.

I would just tell her that she's perfect the way she is. Sometimes great things come in small packages.

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