Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

what to say when you daughter cries about her size? ETA a picture

Posted by   + Show Post

my daughter it 8 and she is a beautiful little girl... but she is small...petite. it is just her genes I'm 5'1" my mother in law is 5'2".she just turned 8 and she is 4 Ft exactly and 50 lbs, putting her in the 10th percentile for hight and 20th for weight.  so the other night she broke down crying because "It's just so embarassing to be always be the smallest kid in my class... even some of the 1st graders are bigger than me!!!" she was just sobbing and I didn't have any idea how to make her feel better. what would you have done?

by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:37 AM
Replies (21-30):
calsmom62
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 12:58 PM
ive always been jolly green giant sized( well after age 8). I used to wish I was fun sized. all of my kids have been the tallest in their class/ troop/ youth group/ team/ town lol. its easy to pick out either shortest or tallest kids In group pic. tell her she is so lucky to be able to keep shopping at justice or similar stores for so long! mine had to move to juniors/ young mens around third grade.
bandzbandzbandz
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 1:27 PM

Aww doesn't she know small girls are too adorable? I'm tall myself but I think you ladies that are 5"3 and under are too freaking' cute. Like little dolls. And I get a little jealous because when I wear heels I'm taller than a lot of guys.

DallasCowboys81
by Platinum Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 1:50 PM
Awe tell her she is beautiful just the way she is. My dd is 10 and that way also... Her dads side is shorter and she got his genes. I always tell my dd that she just hasnt hit her growth spurt yet.
thatgirl70
by Carin on Sep. 1, 2013 at 2:17 PM
Tell her she's perfect in every way and people come in all shapes and sizes.

My son (6) is very tall for his age, though I haven't had a chance to really look to see how he compares with his classmates. Growing up, I was the tallest kid until 4th grade, then the tallest girl until 6th, but I don't remember how it affected me.
GaleJ
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 2:36 PM
Why do you think that pointing out adults that are successful and are of smaller stature is ludicrous? I think that as humans we like to belong and be accepted and for a smaller child to see that adults who are smaller can and do have satisfying and successful lives is a good object lesson. Of course I do agree with what else you said I just don't understand your objection to showing examples of adults who are smaller than average.


Quoting KatLee42513:

Some of this advice is ludacris. Don't talk about the benefits of being smaller or pull up celebrities that are short....seriously guus? I'm 27 5'1 and 92 lbs...I've been this way forever..tiny. sit down and explain to her that each and every person is unique and point out good qualities about her personality. Is she caring? Does she go out of her way for her friends? Is she incredibly talented and smart? Leave looks out of the conversation. Talk about her inner qualities. You should definitely talk to her about how we are all different physically and no one has bad physical qualities...we are all beautiful in our own way.

PinkButterfly66
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 2:36 PM

Tell her "The best gifts come in small packages."  She is perfect the way she.  Life would be boring if everyone looked the same.

lizard3731
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 2:56 PM

Abraham Lincoln said a man's (or woman's) leg should be long enough to reach the floor.  I would point out that she will grow and try to help her see her inner beauty.  My dd used to worry, because she is kind of a geek and didn't really fit in with a lot of kids her age.  During middle school, she decided not to worry about what people thought.  It was so liberating for her.  It will be, too, for your dd.  I'm not sure how to get her to that point, other than offering encouragement and telling her everyone feels like they don't fit in sometimes.

KatLee42513
by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:02 PM
Well first off let me point out that anorexia is something I've struggled with for years. Second off, we live in a world where smaller is better...whether you are thin or short...smaller is what thrives in our society...everyone wants to be small. I can assure you being in a world where smaller is better didn't help me with body image...I just wanted to be the smallest all the time....I'm basing it on my experience because I had parents who told me everyday how my size was amazing. Does this make sense?


Quoting GaleJ:

Why do you think that pointing out adults that are successful and are of smaller stature is ludicrous? I think that as humans we like to belong and be accepted and for a smaller child to see that adults who are smaller can and do have satisfying and successful lives is a good object lesson. Of course I do agree with what else you said I just don't understand your objection to showing examples of adults who are smaller than average.




Quoting KatLee42513:

Some of this advice is ludacris. Don't talk about the benefits of being smaller or pull up celebrities that are short....seriously guus? I'm 27 5'1 and 92 lbs...I've been this way forever..tiny. sit down and explain to her that each and every person is unique and point out good qualities about her personality. Is she caring? Does she go out of her way for her friends? Is she incredibly talented and smart? Leave looks out of the conversation. Talk about her inner qualities. You should definitely talk to her about how we are all different physically and no one has bad physical qualities...we are all beautiful in our own way.


GaleJ
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:22 PM
Yes I understand but that isn't the way it was for my son and I don't think it is like that for most parents and children. I also don't see that our society favors being short although I agree about it favoring thinness, to an often ridiculous and unhealthy degree.

Of course the other issue is that we don't know how children are going to grow. My son, as a child always the smallest boy, is now twenty-two and stands six feet, five inches. He is still quite thin, as he's always been, but is healthy and one of the healthiest eaters I know and that is despite being a medic and on the dreaded 24/48 schedule of the first responders.

I do hope you are dealing with your issues and are not still subject to that kind of body image pressure. Please know that my thoughts are with you. My husband and I too struggle with eating although our problem is being overweight. We are dieting now together and are doing rather well so We remain hopeful.


Quoting KatLee42513:

Well first off let me point out that anorexia is something I've struggled with for years. Second off, we live in a world where smaller is better...whether you are thin or short...smaller is what thrives in our society...everyone wants to be small. I can assure you being in a world where smaller is better didn't help me with body image...I just wanted to be the smallest all the time....I'm basing it on my experience because I had parents who told me everyday how my size was amazing. Does this make sense?




Quoting GaleJ:

Why do you think that pointing out adults that are successful and are of smaller stature is ludicrous? I think that as humans we like to belong and be accepted and for a smaller child to see that adults who are smaller can and do have satisfying and successful lives is a good object lesson. Of course I do agree with what else you said I just don't understand your objection to showing examples of adults who are smaller than average.






Quoting KatLee42513:

Some of this advice is ludacris. Don't talk about the benefits of being smaller or pull up celebrities that are short....seriously guus? I'm 27 5'1 and 92 lbs...I've been this way forever..tiny. sit down and explain to her that each and every person is unique and point out good qualities about her personality. Is she caring? Does she go out of her way for her friends? Is she incredibly talented and smart? Leave looks out of the conversation. Talk about her inner qualities. You should definitely talk to her about how we are all different physically and no one has bad physical qualities...we are all beautiful in our own way.



Pink.Frosting
by Silver Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 3:42 PM

Oh honey, she will absolutely *love* it in another 6 or 7 years!!  My now 16 year old daughter got mistaken for a 6th grader last year, lol.  She's really tiny and petite and yes, being mistaken for a 6th grader did make her have a total "ugh" moment.  But overall, she knows she's lucky to naturally have the body, size and metabolism that she has.  Your daughter will come to the point some day where she appreciates it too.  Believe me, I'm just the opposite of my daughter and those who are tiny naturally and without trying are truly blessed individuals!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)