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what if your SO spanked you on the butt ( not in a playful way lol) but bc he was upset with you & calmy spanked you telling you what you did was wrong & then discussed it with you...?
 is that abuse? or discipline? 

 LOL its a SPIN OFF post to  spanking.. no this is NOT my dh or my situtation. I thoguht it was pretty obvious only  like 2 of you knew it was a spin off.

 im  discussing the  idea of you being hit by  someone & spaning your kid.. its abusive if it happens to us as adults but a kid, a younger , smaller  being its " spanking" and  disipline to some.. im curious to hear any responses.

 again NO this is not dh he never  has or would lay a hand on me.. unless playfully of course lol

by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:27 AM
Replies (31-40):
awakemommy
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:11 AM

 You can't compare the two...like comparing apples to oranges. Not the same grouping.

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ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:11 AM
1 mom liked this

 

what ever you consider it is a form of discipline and would not be right between adults unless it was consensual...and like any form of discipline can be carried to the point of being abusive...but that does not make it intrinsically wrong. the same applies to spanking... it can be easily carried to far but that does not make it wrong if used correctly.it is not the right form for everyone. I understand that,  but for som families and some children it is the most effective and yes the kindest method of teaching a child what is and is not acceptable.

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

no. i consider that a cool down time which they normally dont  do for themselves  as we do as adults when we walk away when we need to. i use time outs when  he needs to calm down. i talk to him when  he is doing something  wrong  i dont time out for  those. to me its different.

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

would you consider putting a child in time out appropriate for a child?

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

inappropiate yes.. i agree , odd  yes lol unless  youre into that .  but abuse ,no it wouldnt be called abuse

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

is takeing a childs property mature..? making them sit in the corner? children need some sort of disipline...if they don't get it they do not thrive. any form of disiplin we use on a child would be considered inapproriate between 2 adults 

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

and spanking is mature?

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

it would also be considered abuse for one adult to force another adult to sit in time out and if not abuse definately extemely controling to take away  the privleges or propety of another adult as a punishment... or any number of things that an adult may do to teach a childhow to behave and what is expected of them. the difference is not the size but the maturity of the person involved...

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

what if your SO spanked you on the butt ( not in a playful way lol) but bc he was upset with you & calmy spanked you telling you what you did was wrong & then discussed it with you...?
 is that abuse? or discipline? 

 LOL its a SPIN OFF post to  spanking.. no this is NOT my dh or my situtation. I thoguht it was pretty obvious only  like 2 of you knew it was a spin off.

 im  discussing the  idea of you being hit by  someone & spaning your kid.. its abusive if it happens to us as adults but a kid, a younger , smaller  being its " spanking" and  disipline to some.. im curious to hear any responses.

 again NO this is not dh he never  has or would lay a hand on me.. unless playfully of course lol

 

 


 

 


 

 



 

Imjustinsmommy
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:14 AM

not 100% no but I think it still  makes a point.  we redefine  hitting & abuse in different groupings as you say.. but i see  it a bit more in the same group. if hitting, spanking isnt ok for me its not ok for my kid. that my opinion.. just curious to get peoples input and i know  its different but still..  i think many can get the point

Quoting awakemommy:

 You can't compare the two...like comparing apples to oranges. Not the same grouping.


awakemommy
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:18 AM
1 mom liked this

 I'm sorry, but I have to agree with ditsyjo. I see her point much better. Would you expect your child to act like an adult and do adult things? A child cannot be treated the same way as an adult. I just don't see it as abuse. There are kids who really get abused and it is not fair to compare. My mom was abused as a child...it was way more than being spanked.

Imjustinsmommy
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:19 AM

 kids cant  always knwo to go & calm down.. so to say you need a time out is  barely disicpline its teaching them to learn to cool down, walk away from a siutaion which is what we as adults often need to do & many cant..  i think its important to know how to do that for yourself as an adult. many adults  do use a " time out" method during fights by either  telling their so to   walk away or get out.. or we walk away ourselves. so no i dont find that abusive.

anything can  be carried too far i agree with that.

 no i dont agree  spanking is the kindest method of teaching a child what is & is not accpetable.. i belive it teaches them hitting. 

Quoting ditsyjo:


what ever you consider it is a form of discipline and would not be right between adults unless it was consensual...and like any form of discipline can be carried to the point of being abusive...but that does not make it intrinsically wrong. the same applies to spanking... it can be easily carried to far but that does not make it wrong if used correctly.it is not the right form for everyone. I understand that,  but for som families and some children it is the most effective and yes the kindest method of teaching a child what is and is not acceptable.

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

no. i consider that a cool down time which they normally dont  do for themselves  as we do as adults when we walk away when we need to. i use time outs when  he needs to calm down. i talk to him when  he is doing something  wrong  i dont time out for  those. to me its different.

Quoting ditsyjo:


would you consider putting a child in time out appropriate for a child?

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

inappropiate yes.. i agree , odd  yes lol unless  youre into that .  but abuse ,no it wouldnt be called abuse

Quoting ditsyjo:


is takeing a childs property mature..? making them sit in the corner? children need some sort of disipline...if they don't get it they do not thrive. any form of disiplin we use on a child would be considered inapproriate between 2 adults 

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

and spanking is mature?

Quoting ditsyjo:


it would also be considered abuse for one adult to force another adult to sit in time out and if not abuse definately extemely controling to take away  the privleges or propety of another adult as a punishment... or any number of things that an adult may do to teach a childhow to behave and what is expected of them. the difference is not the size but the maturity of the person involved...

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

what if your SO spanked you on the butt ( not in a playful way lol) but bc he was upset with you & calmy spanked you telling you what you did was wrong & then discussed it with you...?
 is that abuse? or discipline? 

 LOL its a SPIN OFF post to  spanking.. no this is NOT my dh or my situtation. I thoguht it was pretty obvious only  like 2 of you knew it was a spin off.

 im  discussing the  idea of you being hit by  someone & spaning your kid.. its abusive if it happens to us as adults but a kid, a younger , smaller  being its " spanking" and  disipline to some.. im curious to hear any responses.

 again NO this is not dh he never  has or would lay a hand on me.. unless playfully of course lol













ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:25 AM

 

and you can beleve what you want... I am simply pointing out the flaw in the logic of your first post... you have your opinion about time outs... what about taking away privledges ... or favorite possessions...would that be acceptable between 2 adults...do adults do that to themselves... " I am fighting with my SO so I'm not allowed to watch tv this week" never.

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

 kids cant  always knwo to go & calm down.. so to say you need a time out is  barely disicpline its teaching them to learn to cool down, walk away from a siutaion which is what we as adults often need to do & many cant..  i think its important to know how to do that for yourself as an adult. many adults  do use a " time out" method during fights by either  telling their so to   walk away or get out.. or we walk away ourselves. so no i dont find that abusive.

anything can  be carried too far i agree with that.

 no i dont agree  spanking is the kindest method of teaching a child what is & is not accpetable.. i belive it teaches them hitting. 

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

what ever you consider it is a form of discipline and would not be right between adults unless it was consensual...and like any form of discipline can be carried to the point of being abusive...but that does not make it intrinsically wrong. the same applies to spanking... it can be easily carried to far but that does not make it wrong if used correctly.it is not the right form for everyone. I understand that,  but for som families and some children it is the most effective and yes the kindest method of teaching a child what is and is not acceptable.

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

no. i consider that a cool down time which they normally dont  do for themselves  as we do as adults when we walk away when we need to. i use time outs when  he needs to calm down. i talk to him when  he is doing something  wrong  i dont time out for  those. to me its different.

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

would you consider putting a child in time out appropriate for a child?

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

inappropiate yes.. i agree , odd  yes lol unless  youre into that .  but abuse ,no it wouldnt be called abuse

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

is takeing a childs property mature..? making them sit in the corner? children need some sort of disipline...if they don't get it they do not thrive. any form of disiplin we use on a child would be considered inapproriate between 2 adults 

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

and spanking is mature?

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

it would also be considered abuse for one adult to force another adult to sit in time out and if not abuse definately extemely controling to take away  the privleges or propety of another adult as a punishment... or any number of things that an adult may do to teach a childhow to behave and what is expected of them. the difference is not the size but the maturity of the person involved...

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

what if your SO spanked you on the butt ( not in a playful way lol) but bc he was upset with you & calmy spanked you telling you what you did was wrong & then discussed it with you...?
 is that abuse? or discipline? 

 LOL its a SPIN OFF post to  spanking.. no this is NOT my dh or my situtation. I thoguht it was pretty obvious only  like 2 of you knew it was a spin off.

 im  discussing the  idea of you being hit by  someone & spaning your kid.. its abusive if it happens to us as adults but a kid, a younger , smaller  being its " spanking" and  disipline to some.. im curious to hear any responses.

 again NO this is not dh he never  has or would lay a hand on me.. unless playfully of course lol

 

 


 

 


 

 


 

 



 

Imjustinsmommy
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:31 AM

dont  be sorry, i want ppl to disagree & agree & whatever.. im just  curious to hear everyones views. im not  lookign to change the world i know ppl make their own choices & I know mine is made so i dont expect  to change yours lol.

 to answer you Q no i dont expect my child to act like an adult.. no..   they are  1 1/2 & a 5 yo.. so NO.. but im teaching them to learn things but w/o spanking them or smacking, hitting, whatever anyone calls it.. i do  time outs  only to my 5 yo & not when he is " bad" but when he is not claming down & acting out & needs to cool down..  to me  we need to learn as adults to walk away, calm down.. come back I tell him calmy you need to calm down & cool off  & why.. &  he goes to his room &  does so I tell him when you're calm  come back & we will talk & he does.   some adults do not know to do this for themselves still!! & some  DO and  we say go away, leave me alone, get out..  or we walk away.. its the same.

 when my ds1 does something bad i  talk to him about it &  remond him why its bad & what could have happened like throwing = injury or breaking things.. 

 no he isnt easy  so please dont assume he listens right away lol or gets it right away but he  is  responding to it   he isnt  perfect & neither am I i have yelled a few x & lose my cool but no i dont spank ever at all never..   imo there is just no reason but i know others will  not agree.

Quoting awakemommy:

 I'm sorry, but I have to agree with ditsyjo. I see her point much better. Would you expect your child to act like an adult and do adult things? A child cannot be treated the same way as an adult. I just don't see it as abuse. There are kids who really get abused and it is not fair to compare. My mom was abused as a child...it was way more than being spanked.


Imjustinsmommy
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:42 AM

my 1st post? this was really about spanking.. its a spin off that was really my point. but i undertsand  since i mentioned kids its becoming about everything. lol. i dont take  stuff away from my son. only the very toy he is throwing or not playing with nicely.  i  dont take a toy away lets say when he  talks back or does soemthing else unrelated.. no. if he talks back or acts out i talkt o him about  using  good words &   respect & how he speaks to us or someone. if he throws a toy i take that toy away  &  tell him  why bc of it being  dangerous ( usually a  hard  card or truck that can fall on the baby) i explain to him what if it hit your brother?  & he gets sad & realizes it..  at this age he doenst have much privledeges.. at least none that come to mind  he is only 5 so no phone, no computer ... if my dh threw something id take it from  him as well lol but  dh of course wouldnt throw lol  many woman DO take away stuff from their dh  like going out with the guys  if he cheats or the computer for porn or flirting online.. ( adults issues obvisouly) im just saying these things  can occur in adults too. and thats nto always abuse.

Quoting ditsyjo:


and you can beleve what you want... I am simply pointing out the flaw in the logic of your first post... you have your opinion about time outs... what about taking away privledges ... or favorite possessions...would that be acceptable between 2 adults...do adults do that to themselves... " I am fighting with my SO so I'm not allowed to watch tv this week" never.

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

 kids cant  always knwo to go & calm down.. so to say you need a time out is  barely disicpline its teaching them to learn to cool down, walk away from a siutaion which is what we as adults often need to do & many cant..  i think its important to know how to do that for yourself as an adult. many adults  do use a " time out" method during fights by either  telling their so to   walk away or get out.. or we walk away ourselves. so no i dont find that abusive.

anything can  be carried too far i agree with that.

 no i dont agree  spanking is the kindest method of teaching a child what is & is not accpetable.. i belive it teaches them hitting. 

Quoting ditsyjo:


what ever you consider it is a form of discipline and would not be right between adults unless it was consensual...and like any form of discipline can be carried to the point of being abusive...but that does not make it intrinsically wrong. the same applies to spanking... it can be easily carried to far but that does not make it wrong if used correctly.it is not the right form for everyone. I understand that,  but for som families and some children it is the most effective and yes the kindest method of teaching a child what is and is not acceptable.

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

no. i consider that a cool down time which they normally dont  do for themselves  as we do as adults when we walk away when we need to. i use time outs when  he needs to calm down. i talk to him when  he is doing something  wrong  i dont time out for  those. to me its different.

Quoting ditsyjo:


would you consider putting a child in time out appropriate for a child?

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

inappropiate yes.. i agree , odd  yes lol unless  youre into that .  but abuse ,no it wouldnt be called abuse

Quoting ditsyjo:


is takeing a childs property mature..? making them sit in the corner? children need some sort of disipline...if they don't get it they do not thrive. any form of disiplin we use on a child would be considered inapproriate between 2 adults 

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

and spanking is mature?

Quoting ditsyjo:


it would also be considered abuse for one adult to force another adult to sit in time out and if not abuse definately extemely controling to take away  the privleges or propety of another adult as a punishment... or any number of things that an adult may do to teach a childhow to behave and what is expected of them. the difference is not the size but the maturity of the person involved...

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

what if your SO spanked you on the butt ( not in a playful way lol) but bc he was upset with you & calmy spanked you telling you what you did was wrong & then discussed it with you...?
 is that abuse? or discipline? 

 LOL its a SPIN OFF post to  spanking.. no this is NOT my dh or my situtation. I thoguht it was pretty obvious only  like 2 of you knew it was a spin off.

 im  discussing the  idea of you being hit by  someone & spaning your kid.. its abusive if it happens to us as adults but a kid, a younger , smaller  being its " spanking" and  disipline to some.. im curious to hear any responses.

 again NO this is not dh he never  has or would lay a hand on me.. unless playfully of course lol
















SissyAnn141
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:55 AM

 

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

and you can beleve what you want... I am simply pointing out the flaw in the logic of your first post... you have your opinion about time outs... what about taking away privledges ... or favorite possessions...would that be acceptable between 2 adults...do adults do that to themselves... " I am fighting with my SO so I'm not allowed to watch tv this week" never.

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

 kids cant  always knwo to go & calm down.. so to say you need a time out is  barely disicpline its teaching them to learn to cool down, walk away from a siutaion which is what we as adults often need to do & many cant..  i think its important to know how to do that for yourself as an adult. many adults  do use a " time out" method during fights by either  telling their so to   walk away or get out.. or we walk away ourselves. so no i dont find that abusive.

anything can  be carried too far i agree with that.

 no i dont agree  spanking is the kindest method of teaching a child what is & is not accpetable.. i belive it teaches them hitting. 

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

what ever you consider it is a form of discipline and would not be right between adults unless it was consensual...and like any form of discipline can be carried to the point of being abusive...but that does not make it intrinsically wrong. the same applies to spanking... it can be easily carried to far but that does not make it wrong if used correctly.it is not the right form for everyone. I understand that,  but for som families and some children it is the most effective and yes the kindest method of teaching a child what is and is not acceptable.

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

no. i consider that a cool down time which they normally dont  do for themselves  as we do as adults when we walk away when we need to. i use time outs when  he needs to calm down. i talk to him when  he is doing something  wrong  i dont time out for  those. to me its different.

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

would you consider putting a child in time out appropriate for a child?

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

inappropiate yes.. i agree , odd  yes lol unless  youre into that .  but abuse ,no it wouldnt be called abuse

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

is takeing a childs property mature..? making them sit in the corner? children need some sort of disipline...if they don't get it they do not thrive. any form of disiplin we use on a child would be considered inapproriate between 2 adults 

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

and spanking is mature?

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

it would also be considered abuse for one adult to force another adult to sit in time out and if not abuse definately extemely controling to take away  the privleges or propety of another adult as a punishment... or any number of things that an adult may do to teach a childhow to behave and what is expected of them. the difference is not the size but the maturity of the person involved...

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

what if your SO spanked you on the butt ( not in a playful way lol) but bc he was upset with you & calmy spanked you telling you what you did was wrong & then discussed it with you...?
 is that abuse? or discipline? 

 LOL its a SPIN OFF post to  spanking.. no this is NOT my dh or my situtation. I thoguht it was pretty obvious only  like 2 of you knew it was a spin off.

 im  discussing the  idea of you being hit by  someone & spaning your kid.. its abusive if it happens to us as adults but a kid, a younger , smaller  being its " spanking" and  disipline to some.. im curious to hear any responses.

 again NO this is not dh he never  has or would lay a hand on me.. unless playfully of course lol

 

 


 

 


 

 


 

 


 

 

 As a ADULT, My Husband would not ground me from anything !

    As for our children, we need to be a UN-nited front.

strontium
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:55 AM
A firm tap on his lil ass. Im not bare ass banding him over my knee and whoopin him. Thats for when hes 2 ;) he gets full on belt at 3 and spiked paddle at 4

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

oh, i guess you didnt mean to say "spank" must have been a typo? what is it called if its not a  spank? hit? slap?  

Quoting strontium:

1 and its not really spank. That probably sounds alot worse than it is. 

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

DIAPERD ASS????? how old is your baby you spank?

Quoting strontium:

I figured it was a spin off. 

I spank kids because if I get that ass they know... OH HEY... If I play in the litter box... or OH HEY If I act a damn fool and jump on the furniture after mommy tells me "no" and distracts me multiple times with toys and interaction... Im gonna get my butt smacked. and *GASPITY FUCKING GASP* he gets it! My little one hasnt messed around in the litter box in almost 2 months.. and guess what... It only took 2 smacks on the (fully clothed and diapered) ass and a couple smacks on the back of the hand to get it.

Quoting Imjustinsmommy:

see update to be clear why i asked.

Quoting strontium:

thats fucking weird... unless you are into that "daddy/daughter" thing.






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