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what if your SO spanked you on the butt ( not in a playful way lol) but bc he was upset with you & calmy spanked you telling you what you did was wrong & then discussed it with you...?
 is that abuse? or discipline? 

 LOL its a SPIN OFF post to  spanking.. no this is NOT my dh or my situtation. I thoguht it was pretty obvious only  like 2 of you knew it was a spin off.

 im  discussing the  idea of you being hit by  someone & spaning your kid.. its abusive if it happens to us as adults but a kid, a younger , smaller  being its " spanking" and  disipline to some.. im curious to hear any responses.

 again NO this is not dh he never  has or would lay a hand on me.. unless playfully of course lol

by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:27 AM
Replies (71-80):
Imjustinsmommy
by on Sep. 6, 2013 at 9:11 AM

my ds1 is VERY strong willed &  it is NOT easy . ive seen many moms I know with very difficult kids who are not at all easy & none spank or smack including me. yet we all still  teach them our way..  with spanking, smacking you still usually must repeat.. its not the end all.. same  goes for talking to them &  non  hitting, spanking forms.. it takes patience & lots of reminders. 

Quoting GaleJ:

Our son was and still is extremely strong willed but that doesn't change the reality. I am not saying that there weren't moments as there are with all children but parenting without threat and violence works well with strong willed children, in fact with most children. The difference is completely in the approach. We asked for and expected good behavior and then provided the environment and atmosphere that enabled him to respond appropriately. We did not try to completely control him, never imposed rules without reason, and observed him to understand how best to help him behave. When necessary we corrected calmly and quietly. We are a Montessori family and the children in my class responded in a similar fashion.


Quoting ditsyjo:



then you were very fortunate to have an easy child... not all children respond to simply explaining what is expected...some children are by nature strong willed.


Quoting GaleJ:

Discipline never requires hitting or spanking and in my experience rarely even requires anything punitive. When our son was young we gently and lovingly offered guidance and made sure he understood our expectations in every situation and the rules and reasons for them. That usually was all that was needed and his behavior was usually exemplary and never could it have been considered unacceptable and that's going by the opinion of others, not his father's and mine, as expressed in the compliments we received everywhere we went.



Quoting shymom835:


hello,


in my book it's called discipline.


Not abuse. Parents who don't discipline their children end up being the children telling them what to do instead of YOU. Makes me upset to see parent being friends with their own children. What the world is going on?


Maybe i'm just old school..








kelaine1981
by New Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:15 PM
Wow...so people really aren't reading this post.
Okay, so I can't ever see a man spanking a woman- except playfully, of course. So really, there's nothing to compare. Spanking is not abuse....even CPS says that.
Imjustinsmommy
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:23 PM

1. im glad you got the point. I agree not many if at all read the post & got that is was a spin off to spanking. so thanks for getting that,

 2. there is something to compare & some moms do see that  spanking, inflicting pain on anothers body  young or as an adult may never be appropiate. if its abuse  to you  as an adult why is is not  the same for a child? some will not agree with you. thats your opinion. dont change that.. just saying

 3. I dont care what CPS says is abuse.. just like i make decisions of whast healthy for my kids to eat, what time  they go to bed, how many hrs they can watch tv or at all.. i have my own opinions on how my child is to be raised.. vaccines,   diet.. discpline are all things  my dh & I agree on & idc if cps says its not abuse.. i disagree.   thats my opinion on that & like you.. I wont change.

Quoting kelaine1981:

Wow...so people really aren't reading this post.
Okay, so I can't ever see a man spanking a woman- except playfully, of course. So really, there's nothing to compare. Spanking is not abuse....even CPS says that.


laparla
by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 1:58 PM

What if your husband made you sit at the table until you eat all your veggies?  What if your husband made you go to bed at 8 pm?  What if your husband said you can't watch an R-rated movie?

Same (lack of) logic as in the OP.

momoftwo0406
by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:02 PM
There are a lot of couples that live like that and don't find it to be abuse. They agree on it and they love the closeness that comes from it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Schauseil
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:04 PM
It's discipline and would piss me the fuck off. I'm a grown woman, I got my share of spankings when I was a child, it is not dh's place to discipline me.
momto3infl
by Ruby Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:05 PM

 i would laugh at this-and say I am not one of our kids.

tairakittie
by Platinum Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Weird how so many people think its okay to hit kids but not other adults...

PinkButterfly66
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:14 PM

I did not marry my daddy.  So if my husband EVER did that, I'd be interviewing divorce lawyers. 

goodnightmama
by Gold Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 2:33 PM
I see nothing wrong with either but I am also in an ldd relationship so that could be why.
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