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Will this ruin us?

Posted by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 10:21 AM
  • 5 Replies
My husband and I have been together for almost 7 years. He has an 8 year old son from a previous relationship and we have a two year old son together. Before we had our two year old, we always talked about trying for another child if we were to have a boy first. Recently we had a huge argument because he decided that we are done cause he only ever wanted two kids. Even though I have always considered the oldest as one of mine, I always wanted to give birth to two of my own. Now all of a sudden I'm a bitch who doesn't love my stepson enough. At the moment we can't afford another baby. Maybe we never will but I don't think its right for him to decide without me on a matter that affects both of us. Especially on something I've always wanted. I think him making decisions without me hurts almost as much as him not wanting another baby with me.
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 10:21 AM
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Replies (1-5):
lisabiron3
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 10:25 AM
2 moms liked this

 Put it on the back burner for now since you cannot afford it right now. Drop it or you will piss him off even more, and he will resent you. Bring it back up when you are in a better financial place.

sunpeaches1
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 10:43 AM
I agree. I'd concede right now so long as he agrees to consider it later.
After our 2nd dh said he was done & I told him I wasn't sure I was finished. For the time, yes! I had 2 boys less than 2yrs apart & had other life issues to deal with. I had an iud put in place because getting pregnant was not a prob for me at all! (5 pregs w/3 losses, 1 of the losses was twins & the last 2 pregs I had been on bc pills!)
Nearing the end of my 5yr iud, I brought up having another baby. He said he could do 1 more. (Now I'm not sure I want only 1 more but cross that bridge when we get there....1 more may be just enough for me plus I'm already 32 & don't want to have anymore past 35) ...
If you're not ready for it right now why create a hypothetical problem? Maybe in another yr or 2 when finances are more stable & he's had time to digest you wanting another child again he'll be more open to the discussion. ...
CuriousArentYa
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 10:44 AM

What she said. 

Quoting lisabiron3:

 Put it on the back burner for now since you cannot afford it right now. Drop it or you will piss him off even more, and he will resent you. Bring it back up when you are in a better financial place.


sean_ray0511
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 10:48 AM
The problem is for him its an issue that he doesn't even want to entertain in the future. As far as he is concerned its a non issue. If I wait a couple of years and bring it up again will it just be the same argument cause he has already decided?
sunpeaches1
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 11:01 AM
Things change. Give it time & bring it up when its a more immediate issue. He says his foot is down now but minds change as life changes. ...
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