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It's so irritating. Needed to vent to someone!

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I run a small in home daycare. This one parent just gets to me sometimes, especially today for some reason. Her almost three year old comes to me full time 5 days a week. Mom works 4 days through the week and every other weekend. Child goes with dad on the weekends mom has off and child stays with older siblings when mom works on the opposite weekends. Child is always here on the one day during the week she has off. I don't know her story and try my hardest not to judge... but really? You see your child from 5:30pm until bedtime and that's it! I would want to spend every day I had off with my kiddos!

by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 2:54 PM
Replies (21-30):
supercarp
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe she's a better mom because she does that. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

SerenityRose
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 7:10 PM
As I said before yes it does irritate me, maybe because I know where mom is and what she is doing.
In no way does if affect the care to other children! And I'm not sure how you would assume I would tell other parents my irritation. I came here because I felt like venting to someone and I know none of the parents are members and also made sure to not include any names or even gender of the child for privacy purposes!


Quoting Booky502:

You are being paid to take care of that little child, whatever his personal situation is, until you choose to "fire" his mom. You are expected to report to authorities any abuse that you know is happening to that little child. Your irritation with his mother is clearly distracting you from the proper care of the other children to whom you owe an equal share of attention and concern, as you are paid to take care of them as well, and apparently because their parents' choices meet your standards. Which makes your attitude questionable, as well. If your head is all abuzz about his seemingly neglectful mother, you're devoting too much time judging her, and you should probably take a deep breath and politely cut her and her child loose, in a considerate way that does not reveal your problem with how she raises her child. I would also, if I were you, give her a couple of weeks' time to find another caregiver, just to be nice, and because you supposedly care so deeply for her child. If you are discussing this situation with other parents who are your customers, stop doing so, as eventually every adult you work for will wonder if you are complaining about them as well, and because they're going to wonder just how distracted away from their children you are. As I wonder.

grownupkidsmom
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 7:20 PM

Hi:

I'm new to the group, but I read your message with interest.  Wouldn't this be a form of child neglect?  I would check with CPS, or contact someone who works with children.  Sounds like this "mom" doesn't want to spend quality time with her child. 

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 7:27 PM
When I was laid off I kept DS in daycare (though he did go down to 3 days). He loved it and I didn't want to upset his routine.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mamasarah59
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 8:08 PM

I dont get that either. I am a stay at home single mom and i also just started a business with a wellness company and i have my 2 kids home with me every day. I work full time, have my kids full time, and also do everything around the house full time. I love spending time with my kids i couldnt imagine not having them with me any chance i could.

 

gsmom9
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 8:38 PM

there may be a reason like school studies, but i do know alot of gals that do that. when they are not at daycare, one of the grandmas have them. lots of free time to party. ill see the pics they post on facebook. maybe im partly jealous, as i dont have the family back up, except for dire emergencys. my parents and parent inlaws, and aunts and uncles have all passed away, and sisters would be willing, but are unable. i still wouldnt want to be a part time(very) parent. it would still be nice to get out once in awhile to be a normal adult. appreciate them grandmas. give them a big hug. id say hug the daycare people, but they might get freaked out if i hugged them. ha ha 


Quoting lovinmykiddo07:

I want to answer this from another provider's point of view. We care because we love the children in our care, we think they should get quality time with their parents. When a child is at daycare ALL THE TIME you can tell. They seem to behave differently than the children that are there just a few hours during the day. I've never understood it. If it not at work, my child isn't at daycare. unless I have an appointment that he cannot go to.

Quoting Liudmyla:

Why do you care? You get paid for the kid right?


 

marinesgirl714
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 9:39 PM

I would think she needs to spend her day off with her baby! My kids drive me nuts sometimes but the thought of being away from them for even a min makes me sad. I cant imagine never spending time with them. I used to work midnights at a hospital and went to school full time and nine times out of ten was so tired i could barely keep my eyes open but i still spent time with my kids everyday because they needed me more than i needed sleep

marinesgirl714
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 9:45 PM

i completely agree and the errand thing is crap! I tote my 4, 2 and 3 month old to the store with me and everywhere else! I never have "me" time but i am a mom and thats how it goes its not about "me" when you have kids it becomes all about them! If ya cant handle it dont be a mom!

Quoting SerenityRose:

To make things worse she finally shows up almost an hour and a half after I close. Only because she lost track of time!

I completely understand wanting to run a few errands etc on your day off and am not opposed to him coming on those days at all! As a mother I just do not understand needing so much time for yourself and having a few hours a day saved for your child.


Angel93257
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:54 PM

I've raised a 25 year old, currently raising a 16 year old and a 10 year old.  Majority of this as a single mom.  I work 40+ hours a week as an Executive Assistant to a CEO, which is a very stressful, demanding job, plus have my own business. And of course add on to that the daily routine of cooking, cleaning, band parent meetings, track meets, xcountry meets helping with homework, whatever may come my way that week.   Every chance i get to get my little one from the after school program early, i take.  Most every weekend i take them on offroading adventures, shopping, movies, or just hang out at home making some desserts :-).  I have found that having some "me" time really rejuvenates me after all the week has put me through.   If i didn't have one day...or one night out at least a week i'd go nuts.  Having my own time gets me through the week i just endoured and prepares me for the next week to come.   Even if it's a 2 hour ride up in the mountains by myself.  It makes me a happy mother.

Imjustinsmommy
by on Sep. 11, 2013 at 3:01 AM
1 mom liked this

no idea. im a sahm & all MY time is with them or one of them since now 1 is school aged. but  idk her  or  her situtaion. maybe she is depressed & gets overwhelmed? maybe she goes to therapy? some moms  are  selfish yes, some dont care,  some might also have reasons we can't  undertsand b/c we dont know whats really going on.. i know you care for this child but this is a business.. if  he is not being abused & she is just not " present" in his life as much but is paying you  to  watch him & being responsoble with him in that regard than you need to try to just  practice   not letting her get to you.. you dontknow  the ins & outs of her &  why.. so  use this as a vent but then id just let ot go.

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